BASHING 101

NOW ON TWITTER

2012-01-17T19:24:00.000-08:00

I'm baaaaaack sweeties!

Follow me on Twitter at @bashing_101!

It's so much faster to bash someone this way.

See ya honeys! =)

MARIEL RODRIGUEZ

2009-08-30T12:44:00.000-07:00

I have some guy friends who go gaga over this girl. Bakit? Di ko talaga me-gets.

Unang-una, hindi sya maganda. Yung itchura nya, yung tipong mababangga mo sya sa mall, tapos mamumura mo kasi tatanga tanga sya, tapos yung friend mo sasabihin sa yo, "Sira ka, si Mariel yun!" Ikaw naman, "Sya yun? Bakit mukhang katulong?"

I don't get what the fuss is all about. I don't know where she came from. All I know is she's a host. That's it. She joined PBB ata, and is now hosting Wowowee, and is dating Zanjoe Marudo.

That's it. That's all she has to her name. And why the hell is ABS-CBN keeping her? Baka naman may jowa sya na ABS-CBN exec.

I see her host sa Wowowee, and naiirita ako sa kanya. Wala syang fashion sense. Minsan sobrang colorful ng suot nya, mukha syang sapin-sapin. Tapos minsan naman, hindi age appropriate suot nya. Feeling nya 18 years old sya. And she's not even a good host.

And I hate those contact lenses she uses. You know those uso ones, the ones that make your irises look bigger? Yung magmumukha kang anime? Iba effect sa kanya eh. Mukha syang lead sa The Grudge.

I've also seen her in that afternoon show, the title escapes me now. Di din sya marunong umarte.

And napansin nyo ba na wala ding ka-issue issue about her? Just goes to show how UNINTERESTING she really is. Ganon sya ka-boring, na di sya ginagawan ng intriga ng press.

Di din ako nagagandahan sa kanya. If you look closely, she looks like one of those she-males from Thailand. The really, really pretty ones.

If you ask me, hanggang ganyan nalang career nya. Unless mag-umpisa syang maghubad, ah eh, ibang usapan na yun. Marerealize ng mga tao na may talent pala sya sa pag halinghing at pagtirik ng mga mata.

I went to the ABS-CBN ball thing tonight at the Shang, and saw her there. Wala lang. Parang may nakaupong hangin sa tabi ni Zanjoe. Ang daming kumakausap kay Zanjoe, sa kanya wala. Well, yung waiter kinakausap sya. Kasi may pinapakuha syang food.

Actually, bagay pala sila ni Zanjoe, kasi isa pa yun na walang personality, as in. Parang may kausap ka din na baso pag kausap mo yun. Buti nga yung baso ma-sasatisfy yung thirst mo eh, si Zanjoe, pure eye candy. That's it.

I'M BAAAAACK!

2009-08-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!

Yes, yes I know. My vacay took waaaaaaay too long. We people have to work too you know. But that doesn't mean I forgot all about the people who needed to be bashed. I actually have a list on my laptop, and lately, it's been looking like some petition for GMA to step down.

Well I'm back, and I promise to post more regularly than before.

Just one note before I close this post. As I opened my blogger account, 100+ comments welcomed me. Mix reviews of course, both from lovers and haters, and floaters. Some were pretty harsh, some peppered with praises.

To the readers, thank you for supporting my blog. This is simply my outlet on my opinions on certain people and issues, and I am glad that a lot of you out there agree. Thank You for that. Just goes to show that we share the same belief that certain people should be put in their place. Hence this blog.

Now to the haters. I am sorry this blog offends you. You totally have the option of staying away from this blog anyway right? Nobody's putting a gun to your head to read this blog. So in that note, I would like to say this to the haters:

There that's better.

Now on to the bashing shall we?

You guys will hear from me soon.

Clues on my victims? Lemme see. Initials are M.R., V.B., CJC and WR.

Ciao!

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

2009-03-01T22:21:00.000-08:00

Can someone please tell me bakit hindi napansin kung gano kachaka ang wig ni Sarah Geronimo sa You Changed My Life?

Pati ba si John Lloyd eh nahihiyang i-bring up ang glaring mistake?

This is something I've noticed in many Star Cinema movies. Fire your damn wig sponsor please! They look like they were borrowed from Barbie!

Actually, I take that back. Barbie's looks better.

Ang buhok dapat gumagalaw, hindi mukhang roadkill.

At ang kulay dapat pang Pinoy, hindi pang drag queen.

Come to think of it, hiniram ata ni Sarah ang wig na yan from Nina. Paki-check ang picture ni Nina below.

SIRENINA

2009-02-16T11:46:00.001-08:00

Never liked her and never will.

Unang una, hindi sya maganda. Mukha syang japayuki. Refer to picture above.

Baduy sya, walang taste. From her make-up, her hairstyle, and her outfits.

And lastly, at ito din ang pinaka-important, I hate her voice! Yaaaak!

Ang sakit sa tenga ng boses nya I swear. I mean sure fine, sina Regine at Sarah din naman eh biritera din, pero at least may K bumirit. Eh ito, nagpupumilit bumirit, di naman kagalingan. At hindi sya belter, ang nipis ng boses. Trying to birit lang, chamba naman lagi.

If not for her hit songs, she is nothing.

Remember that Nescafe jingle she recorded a few years back? Where she does this Mariah-like whistle at the end? Did you know that it took her longer to record the whistle than the whole song? Insider kwento yan.

I remember watching a concert at OnStage where she sang Through The Fire and tried to do the whistle at the end of the song, and nothing came out! As in parang namatay ung mic!

And how dare she touch classic songs like Foolish Heart and I Can't Make You Love Me, eh di naman nya nabibigyan ng katarungan! Have you heard her cover of Burn? Hay, I swear lahat ng mga daga sa bahay eh naglalabasan dahil sa kantang yan! Kaya sya tinawag na Soul Siren, kasi kasing tinis ng Sirena ang boses nya.

And get this, from what I heard, she's a coke addict. Maybe that's why her face is messed up. And hopefully her career will be too.

Watch this:

NAKAKASUKA!

2008-12-30T11:36:00.001-08:00

First there was Lipgloss, TV5's el cheapo version of obviously, Gossip Girl.

And now comes Takipsilim, the Pinoy version of Twilight.

Ano ba?! Wala na ba kayong maisip na bago ABS-CBN? Kopyahan na lang ba ang labanan? Dahil ba DYOSKO ang nangyayari kay DYOSA?

Even Perez Hilton is upset.

Haaay, kelan kaya magiging matalino ang Pinoy TV no? Kaya ang bobobo ng kabataan nowadays eh, it's coz of ideas and shows like this!

Ka-cheapan to the pinaka-top level! Linamon nya ang Master Showman sa ka-cheapan!

PAKI-STRETCH PA PLEASE

2008-12-27T11:59:00.000-08:00

Ah...eh...sa tingin ba ng Garage Magazine eh hindi halata ang pagkaka-stretch nila sa mukha ni Geoff Eigenmann sa latest issue nila?

We all know that this guy has had problems with his weight, and is just resting on being good looking.

He's a bad host. Tunog special child pag nag hohost sa MYX. He's a bad actor. Walang sinabi sa mga magulang nya. And he's a bad endorser. Hanford? Really? Is he even HOT? Like underwear hot? NOT!

Naiirita na talaga ako sa magazine na 'to. Napaka-pretentious. Eh puro lifted lang naman sa ibang US mags ang content. The styling is all messed up, articles are irrelevant, and it's P200 bucks. I mean fine, it is way better than that pathetic excuse for a men's mag called Metro HIM, but will you just settle for being better when you can be the best? Hay, I'd read Men's Health anytime than these.

I mean look at that cover. Milestone ba ang styling na pinakita dito? Wow, leather jacket on a plain white shirt! How come I never thought of that?! Uuy, dogtag! Sige, gagamitin ko uli ung mga laos ko na na dogtag! Uy, half-tucked ung shirt! That's such an ultra new tip!

If you're really the ultimate style guide for guys, then why don't you stay away from the high end brands and teach men how to dress up well without spending a fortune? I mean Zara, Springfield and Paul Smith? Scour through SM, Surplus Shop, Landmark, and the tiangges for the really cool and cheap finds.

And take note. If the Conde Nast publication, Cargo, didn't make it, then what chance do you guys have? Let's face it. We live in a third world country. The people who can afford your magazine and the stuff you push, are rich enough to not even buy your magazine for tips. Chances are, they already got style. Or if not, they have their own personal stylist or shopper.

There's so little of men's stuff out there that you'll surely run out of stuff to print. And men hold on to a shirt like an old pair of boxers. They hardly change their wardrobe, much less add on to it. Men are just fine as it is. Fitness is something they can welcome in. New fashion, maybe in like 40 issues in.

WORST NOSE JOB EVER

2008-12-12T23:04:00.000-08:00

Please tell me what is up with Lani Misalucha's nose?

I mean come on, does she really think her doctor did such a great job? Seamless ba ang pagkakagawa?Nakakatakot kaya sya ngayon. Was she going for the Jacko look? Maybe it's a thing in Vegas now. Para magmukha ka talagang attraction. Para after her concert, sa circus naman sya sasali.

Dapat dun nalang sya sa doctor ni Angel Locsin nagpagawa, although mukhang mahal ang pagkakagawa nung kay Angel kasi hardly noticeable. Baka naman sale ang nose job na nakuha ni Lani kaya sale din ang kinalabasan? At least it did take a lot of steam off Regine's supposed nose job. Si Lani na ngayon ang reyna ng retoke.

Kaya siguro nagparetoke din si Martin kasi kala nya siguro, dahil sa ilong sumikat si Lani sa Vegas.

There are lots of bad nose jobs in Manila, and some good ones. Bad ones include Lucky Manzano, Ivy Violan, Verni Varga, Pops Fernandez and Nancy Jane (aka Nancy Castiliogne). Good ones include Sharon Cuneta, Piolo Pascual, Pia Guanio, Angel Locsin and Phoemela Baranda.

THE WORST DIRECTOR OF OUR TIME

2008-12-07T10:58:00.001-08:00

Now where the fuck do I start with this sorry ass excuse for a director?

Ok, as far as I know, he got his name up there by directing Regine Velasquez's music videos for her album R2K. Dunno how he managed to get that deal, maybe he paid Regine?

All his videos are such an eyesore. Tangina, lahat na lang ng kulay ginamit. Wala ng ginawa kungdi mag pan ng camera, bawat linya cut-to-cut sa iba-ibang set-up. Kairita! As if nakaka-impress ang ginagawa nya.

I hate watching SOP because he directs it. I never watched ASAP before 'coz most of the best singers are in SOP, but I find myself watching ASAP instead of SOP because his camera work gives me such a fucking headache. Ang sakit sa mata punyeta. Parang laging may fiesta sa SOP. Confetti, check. Lahat ng kulay ng ilaw, check. Bubbles, check. Smoke machine, check. Strobe lights, check. Laser lights, check. Oh and yeah, he directs Celebrity Duets, and the now non-existent Pinoy Idol and Songbird. I'm sure he directs more GMA shows, and I'm staying away from them.And the nice thing about it is a lot of people feel the same way too. He's a huge joke in the directing industry. Try asking people like Quark Henares or some of the more sosyal directors, and I'm sure you'll get a mouthful.

Check this out too: http://es2pido.blogspot.com/2006/01/ang-pakitang-gilas-na-balasubas.html

Apparently, followers of famous pinoy blogger Rickey Yaneza hates him too. He has no taste whatsoever, and I don't even wanna know kung san sya nag-aral mag-direct. Kung san man yan, best to stay away from that place. Yun eh kung nag-aral nga sya mag-direct. That's why it's no wonder why he hardly does big stuff, like movies, documentaries and stage plays. Because he's nothing. Mabuburo na lang sya sa music videos, kasi yun lang ang kaya nya, and wala pang kwenta.

To the GMA7 execs. Do not underestimate your audience. May utak ang mga tao ngayon, masa man yan. Instead of making the masa more masa, why not treat them to something different? And introduce them to better things diba?

Axe Louie Ignacio, and replace him with someone younger, who has fresher ideas, and someone who doesn't do the same thing over and over and over again.

COPYCAT 2

2008-10-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

Kamusta naman yan? One of our local artists copied Ashanti's CD cover.

Be discreet naman!

COPYCAT

2008-09-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

Was at the mall today, and I saw this new local magazine at National Bookstore. It looked awfully familiar, thought my fave mag which folded 2 years ago is back. Not!

It's the new Men's Lifestyle mag called GARAGE, with Jake Cuenca on the cover. Obvious bang local kasi local ang cover?

I have been a fan of Cargo since it came out, and was able to collect every issue that came out. And I'm a girl sheesh! It featured everything a guy likes, from clothes, cars, grooming, gadgets, electronics, fitness, sports, and sex. Too bad after 2 years, the magazine folded, and I've always wished it would resurrect. Cargo is under Conde Nast by the way, the same publushers of Lucky, Vogue and GQ.

And now we have this copycat from Manila Bulletin. I mean fine, I'm glad MB is KIND OF upping their magazines, out with the old (and I mean PANORAMA) and on with the new (Sense & Style and Sugar Sugar), but please please lang naman. Wala ba kayong originality?

First of all, the size of Sugar Sugar is so Teen Vogue (actually, Seventeen ang unang culprit), and Garage is sooo Cargo.I mean fine, you had to copy an obsure magazine which was never sold in Manila so that you guys won't get caught. But how about people who do know? Like me?

People like me is your mag's market, and you expect me to check out your cheapo rip-off? No thanks.

I'm sorry, but we are in a third world country, and there's not enough stuff to feature in a magazine like yours.

If Cargo didn't make it, what chance does your magazine have?

PHONEY GONZAGA

2008-09-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

Someone please explain to me, why this creature is so famous?

She's everywhere! She has endorsements, TV shows, concerts and albums! WTF?!

She's a bad host. Never enjoyed her in that newscrap Wazzup, Wazzup. That show sucked big time. Walang commercial value, and bobo na nga ang kabataan ngayon, lalo nyo pang pinapabobo dahil sa mga show na 'yan!

She's ugly. Iisa lang ang angle ng mukha, and kaya sya pinangalang Toni kasi mukha syang lalake!

She can't sing! Leche, have you heard her cover of Randy Crawford's "One Hello"? Fuck, kakairita ah! Para syang may sipon, na pinasakan ng socks sa bibig nung recording! It was so bad, I swear, she sounded like a bad Jessa Zaragoza. Someone should giver her vocal lessons. I hate her style! Parang ilong nya ang nagka album.

Diba galing lang sya from that Sprite TV ad with Piolo? Yun na yun? Yun na ang basis ng GMA7 para gawing artista 'tong drag queen na 'to?

Sobra ako irita sa kanya with this music video where she's playing an artista. Yaaak kadiri talaga. Feeling maganda. Laki kaya ng nguso nya. Eeeeewww. And iisa lang outfit nya sa video. Ka-cheapan ah. Can't you spring for new outfits honey? Cute pa naman the guy in the music video. Nasayang lang kay Toni.

And she's plastic ha. A friend of mine brought me to this presscon she had for this movie. Had to delete from my memory that day. My friend had to interview her, so when she sat down with us, my friend had to introduce us. After the introduction, I had to get something from my wallet. She said, "How nice naman your wallet." I was like "duh?"

First of all, I hate pa-cute talk from anyone. Secondly, my wallet is cute? It was a simple, rectangular, leather, tan colored, bill fold wallet I bought from HK. Do people even notice wallets? Sure if they're cute, or maybe if they had flashing lights or something. That's how I knew she was plastic. It was like saying, "Ang galing naman, you're wearing shoes!"

Haaay, I give her a few more years, and she's outta here. People are gonna realize that's she has nothing to offer. And then she'll try to go sexy. Maybe the men will take notice. But soon after that, they'll realize the name Toni doesn't really go with someone sexy, and she'll be shot down again. Her only chance to be popular again if she gets knocked up by someone like Erik Santos, Raymond Gutierrez or Boy Abunda. Then she'll try to be all sosyal and hang out with the likes of Ruffa, Gretchen and Kris, and the three girls will stay away from her because she pronounces it "HER-MEES" instead of "ER-MEZ".

And that'll be the end of her. Hopefully.

LIPGLOSS MY ASS

2008-08-22T23:11:00.001-07:00

Utang na loob naman. Don't we have enough kabaduyan on pinoy TV already?

It's bad enough that TV 5 is trying to make a comeback (again), but along with this show?! Kadiri ah!

Friends, welcome Lipgloss. The third world interpretation of Gossip Girl.

Kinikilabutan ako as in. The whole cast are unknowns, except for Sam Concepcion (who looks so adorable by the way).

Ang nakakaloka pa dito, ung mga na-cast as mayaman in this show, ang barok mag english ah! Yaaaah! Not one of them is believable. Bakit wala silang mahanap na matinong artista? Malamang mababa ang TF.

As in, I can't even see anyone who has potential to be big in the cast. Aside from the bad styling, the bad voice over at the start of the clip, why the fuck is it called LipGloss? Since when did Chapstick and lipbalm become sosyal? Sana Sebo na lang diba? Or Golden Heart. Or Kanebo.

And the names ha, di ko kinakaya. Linden High? So sa Linden Suites lang pala sila nakatira.

At least there's a new show in town to bash. So thanks TV 5 for new trashy pinoy TV!

WHY GOD WHY?

2008-08-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else out there as irritated as I am with this whole scarf trend that's going on?!

I don't get it.

Is this how everyone wants to look like? Like a homeless person? In na ba ang magmukhang rebelde o taong grasa?

Naloka din ako when this "trend" was just starting. Ang nag fefeeling na Puey Quinones had the gall to sell these at his shop at Podium for P800 each. Duh. Kapal ng mukha. Buti kung sya ang nag habi nun diba, di naman. And that was like last April lang. Fast forward to a week ago, I saw these things at SM Hypermart being sold at P88 each. Bwahahaha! Such a clear cut sign na laos na sya, at pang masa sya.

And buti sana kung ginagamit ng nasa lugar diba. Leche, eh tanghaling tapat, naka scarf?! Tumatawid ng kalye, naka tricycle at asa jeep, naka scarf pa din? Tumatagtak na ang pawis, paninindigan pa din ang scarf? Aba, eh di swak pala ang scarf na yan kasi pati ang odor mo eh mala Arabo din!

May mga nakita pa ako sa event recently, leche, naka long sleeves na button down shirt, ung isa naman naka-suit, naka scarf pa din? Argh! Wala ba kayong mga salamin?

I swear, kung pwede ko lang sakalin with their scarves ang bawat tao na nakikitaan ko nyan, I'd be in prison now.

So please, please. If you still wanna wear a scarf, stick with the classic ones, and not this sick one. Punyeta, eh pati nga si Roderick Paulate eh naka ganyan na din no! Hindi ba senyales yan na dapat ng iwasan ang trend na 'to?

Kill them, kill them all! Sunugin ang mga scarves na yan, isama nyo na ang mga nagsusuot!

THE TRUTH ABOUT PINOY IDOL

2008-07-07T21:29:00.001-07:00

I have been watching PI (Pinoy Idol or Putang Ina?) since it started, and sure, I did diss the patapon show 'coz it sucked big time. But I saw potential with a handful of its finalists. But since they are being eliminated one by one, I gotta say something again.

The eliminated finalists with potential and some are even ready for the bigtime are Meryl David, Walton Zerrudo, Beverly Ejercito, Jeni Rawole, Mae Flores, and the best one in the lot, Robby Navarro.

PI can blame the voters all they want, but it all boils down to a show that isn't rating. The number of votes is somewhat proportional to its viewership. The show has been running for weeks now, and never has the Goodyear blimp, Raymond Gutierrez, mentioned the prizes at stake and the number of votes cast. Nakakahiya ba to even mention? Siguro nga. I can imagine it now, "After the nationwide vote of 1,000, we are happy to announce that the prizes at stake are as follows: a record deal. That's it. Now let's eliminate someone."

The new set of the Top 12 looks like some cheap beauty pageant or variety show in Taiwan. Louie Ignacio, you should retire. I don't even know why GMA 7 even hired you in the first place. You have very poor taste, and you're highly overrated.

The TV mix of the sound never improved, camera shots still suck, and the judges are still lame. And don't get me started with the host.

Jeni Rawole's elimination was a huge disappointment. Sure, her music won't make it mainstream, but she has obvious class, and her music is sure to hit a certain market. And to top it all off, she was eliminated the same week Bagyong Frank hit her hometown, Iloilo. The whole of Iloilo didn't have electricty, and I'm sure the mobile signals were down too. So it was very unfair for her to be eliminated based on votes alone. Why didn't Fremantle take a cue from Philippine Idol? The same thing happened back then, with Milenyo. They made the same week a non-elimination week, but 2 will be eliminated the next week. That's how it should have been done this year. Apparently, Fremantle just shrugged their shoulders and said, "too late". It would have been interesting to have Jeni on the show, with the themes starting. Imagine a jazzy version of a Jose Mari Chan hit. Now that's class and talent.

Frankly, I am sick and tired of this never ending ratings race between GMA 7 and ABS-CBN. Since PDA started, Pinoy Idol, especially Pinoy Idol extra, turned into this soap, and obviously took advantage of its finalists. They began to have challenges, started to provoke its finalists, and even manipulated their interviews with editing. (read: Robby Navarro was a Pinoy Idol victim).

He was the best vocalist in the whole competition, all three judges agreed. I know Wyngard does, he just won't admit it. Yes, he had a bad night with his last performance, "The Greatest Love of All", but the judges didn't pin him down. So what happened that could've caused him the lowest number of votes? Three words: Pinoy Idol extra. Watch what I mean here.

I was there at Center Stage of the Mall of Asia during the elimination of Robby Navarro. After the taping, you could certainly feel the tension and disappoinment from the whole staff, the other finalists and the audience. Now that the best vocalist was eliminated based on false pretenses, it seems like the rest of the finalists' efforts will all be wasted. 'Coz now they all know that the show is not based on talent AT ALL.

Now let's talk about what other elements can get you that much coveted Pinoy Idol title. MONEY. The show's results is based on text votes ALONE. Meaning it's not the Philippines who decides, it's the finalist who has the most moolah to burn. Two names come to mind, and all finalists would agree, Jayann Baustista and Gretchen Espina. These two have never been in the bottom group, and yes they are pretty, but they suck like hell. If I was a finalist, and had serious cash to burn, I would probably do that too. But I would not be too proud to not admit that a lot are more talented than I am, and it would feel so much better if it was the viewers who voted for me, and not my political clan.

What about looks? We all know that physicality will get you seriously far in this biz. Some people even have to sleep with certain people to get to the top, but I'm reserving that for another post. I'm talking about Daryl Celis. Yes he is a cutie, and that face of his has made him move on to the Top 9, he was the 2nd to the bottom last week, but how could he win over Robby? His singing is not that hideous, but it's not that great either. Honestly, I would choose to look at his face the whole night than hear him sing. Enough said. Almost all the finalists agree on this. See for yourself.

Alright so let's see. So far we've got money, looks, and intrigue. Anything else? The judges' opinions? You all know that the judges' opinions don't matter because this competition is based solely on votes. WRONG. What if there was someone over and above the three judges who calls almost all the shots? Someone who cares so much about packaging and the finalists' past that he/she doesn't even care about talent anymore. Something to think about huh?

Wanna rant and rally for a wildcard? Wish to bring Robby, Mae, Meryl, Jeni and Walton back?

Email and flood the GMA7 and Fremantle people at these email addresses:

Viola.Fuchs@fremantlemedia.com

geraldine.bravo@fremantlemedia.com

rommel.gacho@gmail.com

sop@gmanetwork.com

theagomezpollisco@yahoo.com

PINOY IDLE

2008-06-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

Yes I know dear readers, I have been on hiatus for months now, and I do apologize for not dishing out piping hot bash worthy people, but I will try to get back on track. Been so busy with my own life, I didn't have the time to diss!

But with this one, I just can't keep my mouth shut. I have to say something about this.

If you guys didn't know already, Pinoy Idol has been airing for about a month and a half now since the audition tapes, and the Top 24 has been performing for 3 weeks now. And 8 contestants have already been eliminated since.

So why this post? It's not about the contestants. It's the show itself.

Lemme start with Raymond "Goodyear Blimp" Gutierrez.

Tangina naman. Bakit naman sya ang host? Has he even proven himself as a good host to deserve that job? And can't you guys be a little more discreet? I can smell Anabelle Rama's handiwork all over this.

He's a bad host, who has nothing good to say, who is obviously reading the prompter, who's so gay that it's chapping my ass, and is a walking tub of lard!

Trying pa talagang magsuot ng neutral colors and form fitting clothes. Kapatid, walang effect. Butanding pa din ang itsura mo no. Di na kayo mukhang kambal ni Richard. Malayong malayo na. Argh! I would take Maurice Arcache to host anything over this fag any day!

Now the judges.

Ogie Alcasid. So far ok ka naman. Kaya lang, I feel like you don't ever wanna sound like the bad guy. Lagi kang may kambyo. "You know may konting pitch problems, but you know what, I liked it!" Strap on a pair Ogie! It's either you liked it, or you don't. Most of these contestants are amateurs, so cut them some slack. Some of them are pros, but still have to deal with the pressure of performing in live TV. So maybe you could hold off on being too technical until the Top 12 comes. 'Coz then you can say that by now, they should've learned already how to contain the nerves, and just perform. Although I have new found respect for you Ogie. Lasalista ka nga.

Jolina Magdangal. It's so obvious that she was made a judge para manuod fans nya sa kanya, para tumaas ang ratings ng show. Wala kang kwenta iha. Wala kang K magsabi ng mga "walang dating", "di ka nag iimprove", "ang sama ng diction mo", kasi ikaw mismo eh mga problema mo yan na di mo na na-correct. At ining, ang "thumbs up" ay hindi comment pwede ba.

Wyngard Tracy. Now where do I start with this relic trainwreck? Unang una, di ka kumakanta lola, kaya wala kang karapatan magsabi ng mga "flat" at "sharp". Kaya ka tuloy binabara ni Ogie, dahil wala ka namang tenga ng singer, kaya shut up and fly na lang tanda, please lang. And pwede ba, stop criticizing their clothes! Ang pagalitan mo yung mga stylist na walang kwenta! If you have nothing to say, just keep it that way. Don't try to be witty, because you're not. TH ka magpatawa ate. You'll never be Simon Cowell, so please don't try to be him.

And now the so-called "director", Louie Ignacio. Now this guy just doesn't get it. Chaka ng direction mo mare. Kasing chaka ng buhok at kutis mo. Di naman kasi music video ang TV show eh, kelangan ba pare-pareho ang treatment? Kahit na gano kadaming ilaw ang idagdag mo sa set na yan, kita pa din ang mga chismis ng kutis ng mga judges at contestant no! Ang harsh ng mga ilaw mo, at least man lang wag i-close up di ba? Para namang nananadya ka nyan eh, para maeliminate yung contestant na chaka ang skin. Diba sa mga artista, may mga special request sila sa mga kuha nila, why can't it be the same for these contestants? Kasi nobody sila ganun ba? Ay politika nga naman. Chaka ng mga pag pan, chaka ng ilaw, chaka ng editing, chaka ng set, chaka ng mga angulo, chaka ng mga kitang-kitang mga shadow ng camera man, chaka ng mga graphics at font, chaka ng sound, chaka ng recap, chaka ng lahat talaga! Chaka mo Louie!

Pati ang website, day, di man lang real time. At wala pang kalaman-laman. Ano bang klase yan? Para lang masabing may website. Potah, sara nyo na yan. Mabuti pa ung mga blogs jan, puspusan ang pag uupdate, at may real time updates pa. Tinalo pa kayo. Loschina.

PI should stand for Putang Ina. Hoy GMA, gising!

Pati pangalan at spelling ng mga contestant, kinailangan pa bang palitan? Kasi para magtunog cool ganun? Kasi mejo di kagandahan ang mga tunog ng names nila ganun? Sana palitan nyo na lang pag nanalo na diba? Ang kapangit-pangit na pangalan na Jonalyn Viray nga di nyo pinalitan eh no! Walang pakialaman!

And alam nyo ba, na dahil sa sobrang baba ng ratings ng Pinoy Idol, at dahil walang bumoboto, they had to manipulate the votes and eliminated some of the good ones? Tama ba yun? Walang konsensya talaga ang GMA7. Didn't you even think of the kind of trauma that would cause the contestants you eliminated? Para lang tumaas ang ratings, deadma sa feelings ng ibang tao.

And napansin nyo din ba na never pa sinasabi kung ilan ang nag cast ng votes? Kasi baka 1000 lang, baka lower pa. Well, if sabihin nila na 1M votes ang na-cast, as if maniniwala tayo diba?

This show is such a disgrace to the American Idol franchise. Good luck na lang kung may 2nd season pa diba.

Fine, nag dadagdag kayo ng mga bagong ilaw, at mga monitor at kung ano pang mga anik-anik, pero diba dapat nung umpisa pa lang yan? Ano yan, so mapapanuod na lang namin ung pinakamandang show sa last episode? Kalokohan.

Like I've been telling people, palabas yan eh. Kelangan kumita. Kaya gawin na lahat para happy ang AI, happy ang sponsors, happy ang tao, sad ang contestants. Kaya magtanggal na lang ng mga magagaling na contestant, para may gulpi de gulat na episode diba, para mapansin. Marketing nga naman.

Yang mga stylist na yan, ang sarap din pagbababarilin. Wala ng alam kung hindi neutrals, stripes, layering, bangles at belt. Gumagamit lang ng kulay pag mag production number.

Di man lang pansinin na hindi flattering sa contestant ang mga pinapasuot nyo. Kayo namang mga contestant, matuto naman kayo mag reklamo no. Mukha na nga kayong mag gogolf, di pa kayo magsasalita. You should have the last say on what you're gonna wear, because it will definitely affect your performance in the smallest way. It won't hurt to suggest you know, and maybe meet halfway. Huwag kayo matatakot magsalita and mag complain. The stylists don't know everything. And remember, artists kayo. Before you entered the competition, may kanya kanya na kayong identity.

A competition based on text voting will never work in the Philippines. Why? Ang Pinoy, kahit na kapitbahay ng pinsan ni chever, kahit di personally kilala, at di naman alam kung may kagalingan o hindi, iboboto pa din.

And aminin na natin, ang nananalo sa mga contest na yan ay laging may itchura, secondary na lang ang talent. Swerte na lang kung both diba. Kasi nga naman, asa GMA 7 ka na diba, eh if lugmok ang singing career mo, gagawin ka na lang artista ng GMA diba? Kelangan ka mapag kakitaan eh. Iilan lang ba ang nanalo na walang fez? Si Frenchy lang ata ang alam ko na ganun, pero the rest, laging at least may itchura. Kaya tama na ang kahibangan.

Wag ng magbalak ng mga ganyang contest. Yung judges na lang ang mamili ng mananalo para tapos na. Tutal, kaya nga kayo nilagay dyan dahil supposedly you guys know best. So why leave it to the people? They don't know any better.Sayang lang ang oras at talent ng mga contestant kung ieexploit nyo lang.

Yun lang pow. Sumakit ulo ko dun 'nyeta. Tubig nga.

IT'S A TIE

2008-02-18T08:40:00.001-08:00

Just when you thought si Ellen lang ang pagmumulan ng lahat ng sakuna sa Edsa, may gusto pa atang kumalaban.

Hay, you gotta have Faith nga naman!

It's the billboard to her Valentine show called "Faith Sings Sinatra". It's located along Edsa, just after you get on the Santolan fly-over.

My camera couldn't zoom in on the billboard well while I was driving. First, it was too far. Second, it was so small, it seemed like a huge poster, and not a billboard. And third, I couldn't get the camera to stop shaking 'coz I was laughing so hard.

So you understand I had to find the picture, and fortunately for us dear readers, Faith's blog is open to the public, and this image is her banner. Big mistake.

Di ko maintindihan ang picture as in. Para syang nasunog, na inaantok ang make-up artist nya, at mukhang nagkamali sya at nainom nya ang Botox! What the hell were they thinking?!

And that frock, goodness! Is that like some 5th grader or maid's uniform?

And the hair! Bakit parang 18th century ata ang interpretation nila kay Sinatra?

Tapos parang may sore eyes pa ata sya. Siguro feeling nung nag retouch nito, "Tangina pare, ang galing ko talaga mag-Photoshop! Iba talaga ako! Da bam ako pare!"

OMG! I just realized! Buo na ang pamilya!

Kelan kaya ang reunion?

KILL ME NOW

2008-02-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

Ang buhay nga naman.

Kung kelan ka nananahimik, na walang ka-probleproblema, bigla kang gugulatin.

Pinalampas ko na nga 'tong mga album na linabas ni Teta eh. At least di sya kumanta. Intros lang and spoken words I think. But the songs were recorded by real singers. I even heard na most of the artists who worked on this album didn't know it was for Kris, kasi baka daw walang pumayag.

And why call it have her name on the CD kung di naman sya kumanta? The second one even says, "Kris Aquino's Brand New Album". Duh. Napaka misleading no. And as usual, madami na namang nagpaloko dito.

And if those weren't bad enough, here's the newest disgrace to hit the record bars:

Bleeeeech! Nakakadiri! Manila is terribly screwed up for supporting this hideous creature!

Tama bang ito ang sumalubong sa Valentine's Day? Dapat Halloween linabas ang CD na to!

Punyeta! BFF nga silang dalawa ni Teta! Di ko na kaya to as in.

Please lang, wag na kayo bumili nito. Si April Boy, Renz Verano at Mystika na lang, wag lang 'tong dalawang 'to!

You will all make the world a safer place if you do not buy this CD. And it will also show that you have excellent taste. And that you're not stupid.

I NOW HATE CORNED BEEF

2008-01-30T20:38:00.000-08:00

Why is this scary thing so famous here in the Philippines?

He's an old, old, gay man with bad teeth, bad skin, bad hosting skills, bad attitude, bad breath (so I heard), and bad managerial skills (he owns Backroom).

I have boycotted ABS-CBN altogether because of 2 people: Kris Aquino and this DOM.

I used to hate John Lapuz, but now, he seems alright now that I have someone knew to despise.Why the fuck would Argentina hire him for an endorser? He used to endorse Great Image, but apparently, nagising din sila. As if he even buys Argentina.

And that show of his, Home Boy? Kill me, kill me now! Walang kwenta ang mga topics, the title of the show has nothing to do with the format, and he's definitely not the way to start your day! Sira ang araw mo I'm sure! Parang nagkape ka nga, pero binuhos mo sa mukha mo.I cringe everytime he starts his sentences with "kaibigan". And the way he modulates his voice when he's hosting is so annoying!!! Bring back Butch Francisco please!

He reminds me of this host before, Giovanni Calvo, but that guy's a goner now. And I hope Boy follows soon.

And why the hell would you wanna be managed by this uglyzoid? Leche, eh mas sikat pa sya sa mga minamanage nya eh! If I were some star, I wouln't wanna support his career you know. He's just gonna use your money on his boyfriends!

Ang ABS-CBN nga naman. Ang pinapasikat yung mga walang kwentang tao. Pero yung mga may talent, binabaon sa limot.

Kasalanan din ng Pinoy yan eh. These networks are trippin' with your minds. They make you think these people are cool, when in fact, they're absolute trash!

How could anyone agree to be his boyfriend? Imagine waking up to that hideous face every morning. You'll never get used to it. Oh yeah, money.

With all that money, why can't he have his face fixed? And I just don't mean fix as in repairs and stuff, 'coz I think Belo does that for him now. I'm talking about major renovating and overhauling!

Take him off the air please. I beg you. He doesn't deserve the attention he's getting. He doesn't contribute anything valuable to society. He's just taking up space in this country. And that makes him useless.

If he runs for Senate, I swear I will leave the country. Lokohan na eh.

LOSING HER MAGIC

2008-01-24T08:34:00.001-08:00

What is happening to Regine Velasquez? She is clearly losing her touch.

Her last movie with Piolo Pascual tanked. It was expected to be her biggest movie yet, especially since it's opposite Piolo Pascual. Fine, blame it on Ogie's huge announcement via Yes Magazine.

Her last concert, "Ang Ating Awitin", was a disaster.

Her new duet with Jaya, a remake of Joey Albert and Pops Fernandez's "Points Of View", is so terrible, I swear, it makes Pops sound good.

She's often all over the place in SOP, missing her lyrics and walking out in the middle of the show.

I think the Songbird's feathers are shedding one by one.

And honestly, I think she's getting complacent.

Maybe because she knows people will still support her even if she fucks up?

Some people actually blame mismanagement, and the person resposible is her sister, Cacai. Instead of referring to her as "the sister" of Regine, musicians now call her "disaster"of Regine.

And isn't it about time to get all covered up honey? You're getting old, and it shows in your humps.

ALL FINGERS

2007-12-31T07:51:00.000-08:00

The ball is dropping, and I hate it.

I hate firecrackers, I swear. Fireworks I'm cool with. But firecrackers? I think they're stupid.

It's a stupid tradition, and I only have the Chinese to blame. Thanks to them, Pinoys believe in that casting away evil spirits mumbo jumbo.

Ang ingay kaya. My pets are scared to death. I'm afraid that one of my dogs might have a heart attack.

And my Dad had to get that sinturon ni Hudas kind. I hated that since I was a kid. I hated firecrackers since I was an infant.

Isn't it literally your money going up in flames? Buti kung mura 'diba? Ang mahal na nga, ang ingay pa. And it's bad quality pa. I remember my cousin's arm caught fire when a 'labentador' exploded in front of him. And to top it all off, it wouldn't be nice to start the new year without all your fingers and toes. Always remember that.

I miss those TV ads they air from previous years where they show the New Year mishaps. That was very effective. It scared the bejesus out of everyone. Including the adults.

Maybe this will jog everyone's memory. Not for the weak of heart. http://www.thechumslick.com/media/blogs/thechumslick/FirecrackerInjury.jpg

Thank you everyone for making 2007 such a great to bash!

Special thanks goes out to Ruffa Gutierrez, Gretchen Barretto, Tim Yap, Kris Aquino, PMAP, Ellen's Skin Care, 'coz if not for them, the year would've been so boring, and I wouldn't have anything to write about.

So keep it up, and here's to more of your cheap and unsavory career moves!

Thanks to my readers whoever you guys are. Let me know who you wanna be bashed ok? Let's gang up on these lowlives. And I promise to update my blog more often for you guys.

Happy New Year everyone! And may we all not be as poor as a rat this coming year.

THE C STRING?

2007-12-22T02:42:00.000-08:00

Of all the creepy things to come out in the market, this I think takes the cake.

I know all women think this is a god send, but come on. It's like one sneeze away from going commando. Wouldn't using a napkin be so much cheaper?

And I think it'd be more comfortable too. This I think feels like you got a hanger wrapped around your garden.

I never thought having the panty lines bothered women this much. I never minded the pantylines. I just carefully choose the texture and thickness of the fabric, of both the thongs and the skirt or pants.

And what is up with the tail like end of the C string? It's like having a bad hair day, only it's stuck between your cheeks, and a pinch can't even fix it.

EEEEEEEWWW!

2007-11-15T20:08:00.000-08:00

Found this on YouTube. And frankly, I wish I hadn't.

Yaaaaaaak! Ito na ang ultimate definition ng feeling cute! Kadiri! Pa-kyut! Pakyut! Pakyu!

Kung sino ka man, parang awa mo na! Lubayan mo na kami please!

Actually, madami pa syang ibang videos. Pero di ko kakayaning makakakita ng isa pa. Baka bangungutin ako sa gabi.

Kakasuka.

PREVIEW NOVEMBER 2007 ISSUE

2007-11-03T11:35:00.000-07:00

I know Preview always comes out with fantastic covers.

This is their November 2007 cover. Maganda naman. I'm not crazy about it. It's OK. Paki-takpan lang ang mukha ng asa cover.

Although gets ko na din kung bakit ganito ang cover. Halloween issue nga pala.

Sa tinagal-tagal nya sa showbiz, iisa pa din ang mukha nya. Proof alone na she's a bad actress.

Di ko maintindihan kung problemado sya dito or what.

NO SUCH THING

2007-10-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

My friends have been asking me why I haven't bashed Kris Aquino in my blog yet.

I told them I will, I just didn't have the time yet. Besides, I have better things to do.

Now that I found some time to do some severe tongue lashing, let's get it on.

I HATE KRIS AQUINO. As in. Yung tipong pag makasalubong ko sya sa labas, baka bigla ko na lang sya sampalin, or buhusan ng asido. Ganyan ko sya ka-hate.

Does she even have any good qualities? She's a bad host, a bad daughter, a bad actress, a disgrace to the country and her clan, a home wrecker, a terrible singer, a fashion victim (I have Ms. Kate Torralba to thank for that), she's not even funny, and she's not even pretty!

And how dare her to pull an Oprah Winfrey with her "K" magazine. Feeling mo no! As if everyone wants to know everything about her. Why buy the magazine when all you gotta do is turn on the TV?! She loves the attention, and everything is on TV for everyone to see.

I read this interview with John Lapuz, and he says he never bought a single laptop. All his laptops were hand me downs from Kris. Minsan daw, 1 month pa lang nagsawa na si Kris sa laptop nya, and nagpalit agad. Alam na natin ngayon kung bakit close si John kay Kris. I'm sure yan lang ang reason bakit madaming friends si Kris. I can't even imagine being friends with her. Baka mapatay ko lang sya.

I also heard that Korina Sanchez hates Kris too, and their show before, Kris and Korina, was all a big joke. I knew something was up. Korina wouldn't click with someone like Kris.

Kaya nga siguro nagka ganyan ang anak nyang si Joswa eh. Sira-ulo kasi ang nanay.

All those stories you've heard about her are true. That story about a mom and her pamangkins who went backstage to have a picture with her? How bratty and diva-ish she gets during shoots? How she's late for her tapings and never apologizes? Yes folks, she is a bitch. Sobrang sama ng ugali, na even Tita Cory cringes. And that's even understating it. You gotta find a whole new word for her breed.

Ever wonder why her cheeks are so red, na para na syang doll with a red circle on each cheek? Tanong nyo si Bambii Fuentes. Yan daw ang gusto ni Donya Kris, na magmukha syang manika. Eh bakit voodoo doll ang kinalabasan?

And just look at these endorsements: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kris_Aquino#Commercial_endorsements

Hindi ba dapat ang endorser yung hinahangaan at tinitingala? Someone you wanna be? Yung idol mo?

As if gumagamit sya ng San San, Whitekat, Kissa, Xando, Greenex, at Kiwi. I'm sure nung inalok sa kanya ang products na 'to, isang malakas na "Ano iyon?" ang tanong nya. And don't you just hated that San Miguel ad of hers with Derek Ramsay? The one where she's driving a sports car? Yaaaaak! Para namang na-disguise sya mabuti no. Eh bibig pa lang na parang na-stroke alam mo nang sya eh. And yung with Manny naman. Kris Aquino drinking Pale Pilsen? Perish the thought!

And now she has 2 inspirational albums out, and from what I heard, nag platinum daw yung unang volume?! Pu#$%*&na! Ang hirap na kaya magka platinum award nowadays! Not even Gary, Regine or Martin have had platinum albums in the recent past. Binaba na nga yung album count ng mga awards kasi mahirap ng ma-achieve. Anong kahibangan ito?

I even know of people who boycott all the products she endorses! Buti na lang at maka-Red Ribbon ako at hindi Goldilocks.

Nakakaawa actually si James Yap. I mean come on, sure he's not hot, but he's a baller, and to most women, that's hot enough. I'm sure madaming babae yan na kinakalantaran no. And I actually believe that woman who allegedly had sexual relations with him.

Paano ba naman, to be locked up in a house with Kris? To endure her irritating, whining, high pitched pathetic excuse for a voice? Papatuyuin ko na lang ang mga mata ko with a hair dryer. I'm sure under si James kay Kris no. Sa english pa lang, talo na si James eh. I don't think he'd get into any argument with her. "Yes" lang lagi ang sagot nya.

There must be a reason why James even married her in the first place. Is it the money? Grammar lessons? Maybe she's a fireball in bed. Maybe Kris's caterwauling actually gets him off.

And why is she still here? Why does she still continue to get these endorsements? Why do her CDs and magazine sell? Why does she still have shows? Because there is no such thing as bad press, and she knows this. She can manipulate the public in believing anything she says. You would think having STD would be the end of her, but no. It even upped her price.

She's such a piece of work, isn't she?

We live in such a twisted society. Where Ruffas, Gretchens, Kriss, Tims and Robbys reign supreme. Where an easy way out for most youngsters is modeling and joining PBB. Where it's cool to be seen in Embassy, and it's fashionable to wear Havaiannas. Where malls open the very next day after it gets bombed. Where it's cool to have braces and to be seen in society pages. Where complaining about racism is considered OA. Where people worship labels and designers. Where cars and cellphones dictate your place in society. That's why I don't and will never have kids here in Manila. I might have them here, but never raise them here.

I miss the old days when we appreciated the simpler things in life. Now the simpler things in life are clouded by things the media makes us believe we need. And we take the bait. Nagpapakagago naman ang mga tao. Now that's good marketing.

Try stripping yourself off of these things, you'll realize you didn't need them in the first place.

NAKAKAHIYA!

2007-10-22T12:41:00.000-07:00

Nakakahiya ka Christian ha.

Sana man lang nag rehearse ka muna no.

Akala mo siguro may teleprompter sa boxing ring.

Another classic case of a performer being too over confident.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES BROUHAHA

2007-10-09T11:57:00.000-07:00

I have been keeping mum about this whole issue.

Heck, I even kept zip about the whole issue with Ms. Piggy Fernandez. She got what she deserved so there.

I gotta admit, I am affected by it. Aside from having family and friends in the medical field, it also hit me by simply being Pinoy.

And the comment wasn't even about color or language or corruption, it was about our abilities. The show undermined the whole country's medical abilities, while the US truly knows that a great big chunk of their medical community consists of Asians, particularly Filipinos. Kaya nga nag-aalisan ang mga nurses and doctors natin eh, kasi mas appreciated and compensated sila sa US.

I have been keeping tabs on some blogs we are all familiar with, on what they would say about the whole issue, and what their readers say as well.

Magsama-sama sila. Puro kayo mga bulag na nakatira sa kanya kanyang mundo.

A blogger even said that we should be happy that the show even knows that the Philippines exists. Napaka-liit naman ng tingin mo sa Pinas kapatid.

And sure it's true that we all are guilty of making jokes about other races, but that one was on prime time tv, and a huge show at that. Sure we also use racist jokes in our shows, but that's just shown here in the PI. Not around the world for everyone to hear.

I am leaving Teri Hatcher out of this of course. 'Coz she was just reading her script.

The Philippines is known around the world for so many things, and we deserve that recognition.

Way back in 1988, Cameron Mackintosh and his crew specifically wanted a Manila stop for the auditions of Miss Saigon, because they have heard wonderful things about Manila's musicians. Since casting Pinoys in the production, which made up about 70% of the whole cast, most theater producers make it a point to hold Manila auditions. Lea Salonga actually put us BACK on the map again.

Film outfits, namely Warner Bros., Paramount, Walt Disney, and Pixar, have numerous Pinoys working for them. Did you know that a Pinoy was also one of the chief animation artists for The Matrix?

Our films, directors, screenwriters and local actresses have been getting international awards every now and then.

Brad Pitt even applauded Ricky Lo during an interview, saying he was the most professional reporter he has ever met. Because Ricky asked questions only about what he was there for, about Brad's movie. He didn't even ask one question about Angelina or Jennifer.

Rafe Totengco, Monique Lhuiller and Josie Natori are all Pinoys who have made it big in the US. Throw in Bea Valdez and Amina Aranaz, whose creations are featured in magazines and shows.

The jeep is even an icon. Our mangoes are the best, and our furniture is everywhere in the world. Even Brad Pitt owns pinoy furniture! Ever been to one of those furniture fairs where all the stuff is for export and everything is Pinoy made? You will be floored when you see them. Their products have been featured and used in Martha Stewart Living, Domino, movies and TV shows! I actually had goosebumps when I was there at the trade fair.

And we know very well that Imelda Marcos too, in her own little way, made us popular. I mean she's in the Oxford Dictionary for crying out loud! "Everybody has a little Imelda in them" posters are also all over the US.

And the following is a partial list of pure and part Filipinos, who are all proud of their Filipino heritage:

Rob Schneider, Tia Carrere, Lou-Diamond Philipps, Ernie Reyes Jr., Phoebe Cates, Chili (TLC), Foxy Brown (rapper), Anna Bayle (model), Sharon Leal (Dreamgirls), Alec Mapa (Friends and Desperate Housewives), Vanessa Minillo (MTV TRL), Jenn Cuneta (singer, "Come Rain Come Shine"), Victoria Principal (actress), Victoria Recaño (The Insider), Anna de Tagle (Hannah Montana), Tamlyn Tomita (Joy Luck Club), Billy Crawford, Jocelyn Enriquez, Vanessa Hudgens (HS Musical), Enrique Iglesias, Nicole Scherzinger (Pussycat Dolls), Mutya Buena (Sugababes), Allan Pineda (Black Eyed Peas), Cheryl Burke (Dancing With The Stars), Chad Hugo (Neptunes), Cassie (singer, "Me and You"), Whilce Portacio (artist).

More at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Filipino_Americans.

So pwede ba, kilala ang Pilipinas no. So don't you guys dare say na hindi tayo kilala, at walang nakakaalam kung asan ang Pilipinas. If you don't know any of these, I don't think you can even call yourselves Filipino.

The people who didn't even feel a thing about this issue, are people who live in their own little worlds, and not a care for the soil they step on. They think we're all over reacting, we're pikon, and we've lost our sense of humor.

Hay I don't even have the energy to lash out on these people. It's a waste of time.

Kung wala kayong bilib sa Pinoy, lumayas na lang kayo and sa ibang bansa na lang kayo manirahan.

The space you're occupying is better off with someone more worthy.

GET LOST

2007-10-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I apologize for not updating my blog.

Apparently, a lot of people think my blog is offensive, one-sided and so over the top.

And they also wonder why I can't even reveal my identity when I'm so blatant and brutal with my topics and comments.

It made me think. Maybe the world has too many shit already that a blog about that shit has no room in cyberspace. Life has too many bumps that more happy blogs should be written and created.

It even got me contemplating on closing the blog all together.

And what did I decide on?

Leche sila.

If they don't wanna read the shit in my blog, then they should just go log on to disneyland.com and read that. And cut your arm with a nailcutter while you're at it.

I put this blog up to rant about the shit in this world, and apparently, many people agree with me too.

So to whoever gets offended by this blog, kiss my ass.

BE BENCH WINNERS

2007-09-12T01:20:00.000-07:00

Regine Angeles and Carlo Guevarra

I told you so.

Some people owe me some cash...

WHY GOD WHY?!

2007-09-05T03:07:00.000-07:00

What is the world coming to?

Source: http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/lifestyle/lifestyle/view_article.php?article_id=85698

As if taking its cue from these laws of attraction, the ultra-progressive and fashion forward label Folded & Hung collaborated with Manila’s oft-controversial pop icon and poster child for the “think rich-be rich” generation, Tim Yap.

Just like his exuberant personality, the Theme:Yap limited-edition graphic shirts are bold, surreal and stylish, loudly and unapologetically proclaiming messages such as “Filthy Rich,” “Big Spender” and “Don’t Hate Me, Envy Me.” (I can already hear the keyboard sounds from bloggers everywhere… whatever!)

Do they actually think these photos are cool?

And to call him the poster child for the "think rich be rich" generation is absurd! 'Coz he's more of the "think rich sleep with the bosses" generation. At least they got it right by calling him "child". The author clearly wasn't sure of his gender.

He is what's wrong with the generation of today. I remember reading an article about young prostitutes, who come from good schools, and why they got into it. One answer struck me, "Kasi gusto ko makabili ng iPod".

All he does is flash some bling, party all night, and extort money from youngsters who don't know any place better other than that pathetic excuse for a club called Embassy.

He is not someone people should be looking up to. He should be an example of someone you wouldn't wanna turn out to be.

And how about this load of crap?

Now here’s the real secret. I believe the bigger statement in all this is Tim’s generosity, which is nothing short of legendary. The irrepressible Tim is, in fact, helping his favorite charity with his new show, GMA 7’s “Celebrity Duets.” Part of his prize money of P1M will go to the Red Cross if he wins. (To vote: Text Duets Tim and send to 2344 for Globe, Sun and TM, 367 Smart and Talk N’ Text.) So he’s not just wearing it on his sleeve!

Easy for him to say, 'coz he ain't winning.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH 5

2007-08-30T03:29:00.000-07:00

Stuart Little and Maui Taylor

BE BENCH-AKA

2007-08-16T13:16:00.000-07:00

Kawawa naman ang Pilipinas at tila nauubusan na ata ng mga magagandang tao.

I remember talking to someone from Bench who was so proud of the finalists who made it in the Bench Model Search.

They had auditions in Davao, Cebu, Baguio and Manila. At ito lang ang mga nahanap nyo?

I find it hard to believe na nag nationwide search kayo at yan lang ang mga napili nyo.

Inaaay, mas madami pa akong mahahanap na mas ok na pagala gala sa labas bumibili ng suka.

Actually, if you look at the semi-finalists, there are lots there who should've made the finals, not these butt faces.

Tignan mo nga si Precious?! Walang nagawa ang photography at make-up sa kanya. Buti na lang eliminated na sya. Bakit ba naging finalist 'yan?!

Si Michelle naman, chekwa na chekwa, at panga kung panga!

And don't even get me started with the boys! P-utang na loob naman... yung Kerbie, John at Joey, san nyo napulot 'yan?! Mas gwapo pa driver namin jan eh! I would even screw my driver because he's hot! I wouldn't touch these guys with a ten foot pole! Mukha silang mga kargador sa pier! Native na native!

Kamusta naman ang adik look ni Kerbie? Eh ang friendster look ni John? At ang SM bagger image ni Joey?

My bet sa girls would be either Regine or Kristine. Si Rachel sana, kaya lang eliminated na sya. She looks like a better version of Isabel Oli pa naman. Regine has an Angel Aquino look to her.

Sa boys, clear winner si Carlo.

Remember, they're also looking for a bench model slash ABS-CBN artista. So ang mananalo diyan, may star factor dapat. Actually, mas mataas dapat ang star factor than the model factor.

Ewan ko lang Bench ha, what a disappointment!

Siguro na-off ang mga gusto mag join dahil sa P200 purchase?

OK NA SANA

2007-08-16T13:12:00.000-07:00

Pakihanap naman po ang boses ni Lani.

Andyan lang po yan, PAKALAT-KALAT.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH 4

2007-08-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

Korina Sanchez and Miss Piggy

SEPARATED AT BIRTH 3

2007-08-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

Niecy Nash of Clean House and Reno 911

Mau Marcelo of Philippine Idol

UTANG NA LOOB!

2007-08-03T23:40:00.000-07:00

I have ranted about this wannabe model search a several posts back, and I must say, they continue to scare the shit out of me.

They have had 10 legs, and now they're on to the finals.

Nakakasuka ang finalists grabe. I can't even pick who's gonna win. Maybe this will be a first for contests na walang mananalo. Lahat talo! Hahaha panalo!

If you're ready for a scare, check out more hideousness at http://styleonefashion.multiply.com.

I swear ang sarap pagbabarilin ang mga ito! Sumasakit ulo ko!

THE PLEASURE OF SUCKING?!

2007-07-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

I was watching ETC this afternoon, and was pleased to see a new Chupa Chups TV ad. It was of this girl who rides a bus, and unwraps a Chupa Chups, and starts sucking on it. Seeing this, the rest of the passengers starts sucking on whatever they had with them. Then the girl looks at them, and then everyone stops sucking.

Funny ad I thought. Then the new tag line panned in, "The Pleasure Of Sucking". I was floored. Didn't even know if I read that right.

So I Googled it, and true enough, it is Chupa Chups' latest campaign.

Also checked out out their site, and it even says "Sucking is good for you!"

They even have another TV ad running. Got this from YouTube.

Grabe. I know they're just marketing the common lollipop to not just kids, but I'm sure this campaign was deliberate. So now the marketing strategy "sex sells" applies to lollipops too?

Am I being a prude?

X-DEAL QUEEN?

2007-06-30T22:46:00.000-07:00

I had coffee with a friend from a bridal magazine last night. She needed to unwind and whine again about how ironic it was to be unattached and working for a bridal mag. Woe is me.

Anyway, she had a stack of mags with her, and as I was browsing through them, there was this bit about Christine Bersola's "innovative" bridal biz. She preserves bridal gowns and bouquets.

So I was like, "Oh, this is new!" And my friend goes, "Hay, gaya gaya lang 'yan no. At ginaya na lang nga nya, wala pang kwenta. Bersola is one for the books."

Apparently, the first and only one to have this kind of service is The Bridal Conservatory. They have been doing this for almost 6 years, a first in the Philippines, and they have a very impressive clientele.

My friend says that Christine Bersola wanted The Bridal Conservatory to preserve her wedding gown and bouquet, but on x-deal, wherein Bersola would feature TBC on her morning show, Magandang Umaga Bayan, and TBC would preserve Bersola's gown and bouquet for free.

TBC turned it down, and Bersola put up her own Bridal Preservation business. Talk about sourgraping. Industry professionals say hers is such a bad copycat, that it fails miserably. TBC is not threatened at all, and is still doing very well I believe.

Bersola even came out with a wedding video, entitled something like "How To Plan Your Dream Wedding On Less Than P1M." Wedding suppliers' running joke is an answer to that, "Eh di x-deal!"

Another friend of mine from a glossy says that Bersola and Babao's wedding was also a major x-deal. Her souvenirs, food and venue were all free. All she had to do was mention them in her TV and radio shows. I also heard from a reporter that their wedding invitation had like this page of logos of her sponsors. Eeeew tacky! I have yet to see the invite, and if this is true, I'll post it here. Can anyone verify this?

If all this is true, I am so disgusted. I thought Babao's family was well-off? I even saw this celebrity home coverage of their house, and I think I saw Starck numerous times.

I was up really early last week, and when I turned on the radio, it was tuned in to some AM station, with Bersola and Babao on board. She actually promoted her bridal biz on air. She sounded like she didn't know what she was talking about. She said, "Ano nga ba 'yun?" and "Basta" a couple of times. And this was before I had coffee with my friend.

And to top it all off, she's trying to pull a Madge! She's coming out with children's books! Well, at least this is right up her alley, and she's hitting her market really well. I just hope the books are affordable by the masa.

Say it with me everyone. Ka-cheapan!

SEPARATED AT BIRTH 2

2007-06-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

Teri Aunor and Tyron Perez

Zanjoe Marudo & Diego of Bubble Gang

MONIQUE DESIGNS FOR BARBIE

2007-06-20T22:35:00.000-07:00

Wow Monique. You go girl! Read on everyone.

Monique Lhuillier designs for Barbie
Dress designer Monique Lhuillier launched her first bridal collection 10 years ago, and now she's put a gown on an American icon -- Barbie.

Lhuillier has picked up celebrity clients along the way over the last decade and found herself designing wedding dresses for Natalie Imbruglia, Charlotte Ross and Debbie Matenopoulos.

In 2004, Lhuillier was chosen by more than 300,000 viewers of the "Today" show as having the winning design for Nikki Hensley's wedding dress as part of the "Today Throws a Destination Wedding 2004" series. She also designed 2004 Emmy gowns for winner Allison Janney, and attendees Jamie-Lynn DiScala, Megan Mullally and Famke Janssen.

Lhuillier's rise in the fashion world hasn't been mercurial, but it has been steady, with 2004 proving to be her most productive year. In addition to the gowns designed for the Emmy Awards show, Lhuillier was chosen to design the wedding gown of pop star Britney Spears along with dressing Kevin Costner's bride, Christine Baumgartner.

Hollywood weddings are big tabloid news, but how does wedding designer make her way into the world of collectibles? By being one of the world-class designers who have dressed America's most famous doll.

The list of designers for Barbie include Bob Mackie, Carolina Herrera, Cynthia Rowley, Byron Lars, Nolan Miller, Calvin Klein, Versace, Christian Dior and Lhuillier's wedding gown rival, Vera Wang. The Monique Lhuillier Bride Barbie is the latest fashion-designer creation for Mattel's top-selling doll.

NO CAN DO

2007-06-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

Hi chuvaness.

Sorry for using that pic of yours. Didn't even know it was yours. I just used google images, and that pic popped out.

I already changed his pic to some other one so there.

And that way, I won't have to delete that post about you.

And no, I don't want to bury the hatchet.

Like you said, you stay off my blog, I'll stay away from yours.

THE FALL OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL

2007-06-09T00:22:00.000-07:00

First, it was the Ruffa and Yilmaz break-up. Now are we gonna see the Gretchen and Tony Boy hiwalayan?

Wow, now so that's 2 of Pantene and Preview's most Beautiful. Hope it doesn't happen to Dawn and Angel.

It was bound to happen though. Whenever you're so up, there's no other way to go but down. Deep down.

I mean sure, John Estrada is kinda hot. But he's a bum. An ABS-CBN reject, who reportedly shows off his goods in the ABS-CBN restrooms to strangers.

Dun na ako sa mayamang kinakalbo no. Though I would wanna see John's goods first. Hardehar.

What is up with the Barettos? Di na makuntekuntento sa isang lalaki.

I wonder what Janice de Belen has to say to all this?

Say goodbye to your talking Valentino gown, Greta.

3.5 STARS

2007-06-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

I made the mistake of watching Paano Kita Iibigin. Ang kukulit kasi ng girlfriends ko. They all wanted to see Piolo. And they think it's a match made in heaven with Regine too. Si tanga naman ako, naniwala. At eto ngayon nagsisisi.

I have to admit, I am a Regine fan. I love her voice, and I actually think she's world class. But she can't do everything you know. She has tried her hand in almost everything, but pairing up with Piolo Pascual spelled disaster right from the start.

First the cons:

Unang una, Regine, hindi ka na bata. Kaya medyo wala na sa lugar ang mga pinag-sususuot mo no. Ang lakas mo mag two-piece day! Di kita kinakaya! Halata na nga ang age mo sa fez at katawan mo, nakipag-team up ka pa kay Papa Piolo who obviously looks so hot and a lot younger than you! Mukha na kayang nanay ang katawan mo ate! Yung boobs mo nga eh halos umabot na sa waist mo no! Pwede mo ng ihawi pag nagwawalis ka!

Pangalawa, I never liked Joyce Bernal's work. She hasn't improved, and you could tell from a movie if it was directed by her. Swerte lang sya na suki sya ni Regine.

Hated the editing of this movie. The texture was bad. The lighting unflattering. The dubbing is the worst. Especially Robin da Rosa's. And I give the Worst Actor Award to him. Hands down.

Mark Bautista had moderate acting, but he was so out of place sa movie. Para syang playing dress up. Parang hiniram nya ang office clothes ng tatay nya. And nanlilisik pa ang ilong nya.

And the kid who plays Regine's son in the movie was really bad too. Remember JP de Guzman? He reminded me of him. But hey, no one can top JP. And throw in Roseanne Gonzales too. Sarap pag-untugin ang dalawang yun. Wala ng alam gawin kungdi umiyak.

Ang chaka din ng mga font na ginamit sa movie ah. Sumakit kaya mga mata ko. Parang invitation sa kasal na di ko maintindihan.

Si Iya Villania naman, wala lang. Di ko lang sya gusto.

At kamusta naman ang umeeksenang San Mig Coffee sachets? Aaaaaaaargh! Di talaga subtle ang mga pinoy sa ganyan grabe. Well, the worst is still Regine's Pangarap Ko Ang Ibigin Ka with Christopher de Leon. Yun ang major in-your-face product placements talaga! May TimTam, Nestle Back 2 Back Ice Cream, at Close-Up. I suggest you see it para maniwala kayo.

And the symbolisms, di na nga subtle, di pa kumokonek sa movie! What's with the plane and bubog?!

Quotable quote from Regine in the movie: "All of us have experienced losing a loved one, one way OR THE OTHER."

And now the pros:

Eugene Domingo. *APPLAUSE* Move over Ai-ai.

Piolo Pascual. He was good in this movie. Clearly almost ready to take over the place of the likes of Christopher de Leon. And he was damn hot too. With or without a shirt. Yeah I know he's always hot, but this one takes the cake. He's so macho and believable as a rebellious, living-on-the-edge kinda guy. Almost makes me forget that he's gay.

Regine Velasquez. Good acting as well. Reminds me of her performance from her movie, Kailangan Ko'y Ikaw and Lobo from Maalala Mo Kaya, with Piolo too.

Watch out for Jigo Garcia too. He plays the doctor in the first few scenes of the movie. What a blast from the past. Almost didn't recognize him.

All in all, I give it 3 and a half out of 5 stars. At least I didn't fall asleep. And Eugene Domingo kept me awake. Piolo had me drooling the whole time. And Regine had me staring at her southward humps.

TO HELL WITH BRAZILIANS!

2007-05-30T11:57:00.000-07:00

Grabe na talaga ang Brazilian invasion sa Manila ah!

They are literally robbing Pinoy models of work! Maganda naman ang lahi natin, bakit mga foreigner pa ang kinukuha?

My friend who owns a modeling agency constantly whines about these Brazilians.

These models pala are chaka sa home country nila, so di sila mabenta doon, so dito na lang sila raraket. Kahit na chaka sila sa Brazil, dito sa Pinas sobrang pinag aagawan pa sila!

So Pinas no? Settling for rejects at latak!

Hindi lang yan, these Brazilian models daw dive their prices, as in dive to death ito, para they're sure to land the job! They're thinking kasi in pakyaw terms, so ok na din kung madaming jobs na not so high ang pay. So wala na tuloy jobs ang mga models in Manila!

My friend told me a story of another agent friend of his whose model then had an almost sure endorsement agreement with SM. Their contract was worth P60,000. Just when the agent was calling in to ask when the contract signing will be, he's told that the deal wasn't pushing through. And he eventually found out that SM opted for a Brazilian model for only P15,000.

Sa mga VTR for TV ads daw, when it's a beauty brand, the Pinoys don't even bother to attend the VTR, kasi they're so sure na foreigner na naman ang makakakuha. And totoo naman.

Ang may kasalanan niyan yung mga agencies na nagpapasok ng foreigners dito. I know the brands opt for these foreigners para may world class leveling ang brand nila, pero if walang nakakapasok na foreigner models here, wala silang choice diba?

And nakakainis pa diyan, halos lahat sila mga walang working permits! Dapat lahat sila ipa-deport!

And get this, there's this Brazilian guy model daw who recently put up his own agency here in Manila! The agency is 99% Brazilians only. Nakakaloka!

The agency is called Chameleon Models (yuck).

I checked out their website, and nakakatawa. You know how modeling agency websites are, below the thumbnails of each model is indicated whether the model is in town or not. May mga nakita ako na nakalagay "DEPORTED"! Bwahahahahaha!

This has really got to stop. It's so Pinoy to not support the locals.

Hay kaya hindi tayo umaasenso eh.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

2007-05-30T10:55:00.001-07:00

Melinda Doolittle and Princess Fiona

SERVES YOU RIGHT!

2007-05-26T09:17:00.001-07:00

It finally happened.

Tim Yap has been suspended from The Philippine Daily Inquirer, apparently for self agrandising himself with his PDI articles. Haaay, life is beautiful again.

Kasi naman, can't you talk about anything else but your loser club? Dami mong naloloko sa leching Embassy na yan. Your club isn't even nice to begin with! Has anyone seen the interiors of this club in the daytime? Eeeeew talaga. Old, dingy and smelly. You charge like P500 and you can't even renovate your shithole?

Just goes to show you're not a real journalist because you only have one topic in mind.

Dapat lang talaga yan sa 'yo. Your column is like a fuckin ad placement. I remember when you celebrated your birthday at McDonald's, and your column's colors were red and yellow. Di naman masyadong halata na binayaran ka ng malaki ng McDo diba?

Rumor has it that T.I.M Y.A.P. (Tang-Inang Mukha Yan Ang Pangit) is talking to The Philippine Star. I hope the Star doesn't take him in. He has no talent, a fashion victim, a bad writer, a bad host and a sleazeball!

I wonder what his beau, Victor Basa, has to say about all this?

NIGEL BARKER EXCLUSIVE

2007-05-22T10:39:00.001-07:00

Just heard this from a very reliable source who got to interview Nigel Barker at the Quezon Ballroom of the Makati Shangri-La.

When asked about what he thought of the models who appeared before the show started, namely Isabel Roces, Bianca Valerio and Rissa Samson, this is what he had to say:

"Filipina women are very beautiful, but I do know that you guys aren't really blessed with the height, especially for modeling. I was very surprised to know that the small one is an established fashion model here."

And we all know who the small one is. Hardehar.

MAAWA KA ELLEN

2007-05-20T12:44:00.001-07:00

Everytime I drive on Edsa towards the South, di ko alam kung dapat akong matawa, matakot, masuka or lahat sabay sabay.

I'm sure most of you have seen this hideous billboard along Edsa. And the reason why I'm sure is because I know you can't miss it. Kahit na iwasan mo pa ng tingin, imposibleng hindi mo makita ang halimaw na ito.

It's a billboard OF Ellen FOR Ellen's Skin Care. Di ko talaga gets kung bakit sya pa ang napili nyang image model ng business nya.

She doesn't even look young. She obviously had so much done, she looks so creepy, na tipong pag tumawa sya, mapipigtas lahat ng mga sinulid sa mukha nya and tatanda sya ulit right before your eyes. May maeenganyo kayang magpa-service sa clinic nya kung ganyan ang kalalabasan?

May budget naman syang pang billboard, so bakit di sya kumuha ng model?

I'm sure madami na syang narinig about her billboard, so bakit dedma lang sya? Madami kayang pwedeng maaksidente at posible pang mamatay dahil sa kanya no. Kahit trafik pa, may mababanggat-mababangga dahil sa lecheng billboard na yan. Potah, habang asa trafik nga ako, may nakita akong magka-barkada na girls na nabangga sa bus kasi pinag-uusapan nila yung billboard with matching tingala and point!

Ah alam ko na kung bakit sya ang napili nyang image model ng business nya! She's the actual menu of services ng clicnic nya! Ah wagi naman pala eh! Parang walking menu at billboard diba?

Di ko tuloy maintindihan kung ano ang purpose ng picture nya. Tularan o wag tularan? Successful operation o mishap? Before or after? On a budget or the works? Babala ba ito sa mga may planong magpa retoke?

At ang pinaka panalo pa jan, ang copy ng billboard na ito ay "FACE LIFT. No surgery. No injections. SPR treatment." Wow, feeling nya siguro ang linis ng gawa ng retoke sa kanya no?

Adik siguro 'tong lolang 'to.

At di ko din kinaya ang suot nya dito ah, neon yellow tank na plunging! Buti pa si Belo, kahit na mejo nagiging nakakatakot na din ang looks nya dahil sinubukan na nya yata lahat ng services nya, ng sabay sabay, at least mejo bata pa sya compared to this driftwood no! It's like seeing Victor Wood in a Bench Body ad! Yaaaaaaaaaaak!

Mareng Ellen, i-untog mo na sa pader ang ulo mo please lang. Maawa ka naman sa kamaynilaan.

Madami ng problema ang Pilipinas, wag mo ng dagdagan.

KALA NYO NO?!

2007-05-19T22:51:00.000-07:00

Hay salamat at hindi nanalo 'tong tatlong gagong 'to.

Kala nyo siguro dahil sikat kayo, easy win kayo no? Not!

I have to admit, I actually thought at least Manny would win. Hindi din pala. Thank God!

May utak na din pala ang masa ngayon. I thought the day would never come.

Kasi naman kayo, it's not enough to be a celebrity to win in the elections no. Smart na tao ngayon.

It doesn't mean that if you're a hero in the movies, you'll also be a hero in politics. Ano ba plano mo Manny? Pagsusuntukin mo mga tao kung ayaw sumunod sayo?

Bakit di nyo gayahin si Kiko Pangilinan? Pinakasalan na lang nya ang Megastar para naman di lantaran ang pag gamit ng celebrity ng isang tao. Eh di wagi sya! Mascot na nga nya si Mega, financier pa! At it also doesn't hurt na sikat din ang anak ni Mega na si KC! Well done Kiko!

THE HELL?!

2007-05-12T00:51:00.000-07:00

WTF?!

BEGGING 101 NI CHUVANESS

2007-04-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

I take it back.

Chuvaness isn't as nice as I thought she was. I'm so shocked with her.

This is something I have to take issue with, and sorry Chuvaness, I have to tell you off with this one.

In her recent post called Begging 101, (which she has taken down by the way) she talks about tips on effective begging, like the beggars actually read blogs. Duh.

The following is her actual post.

Let's break it down:

1) If I give one of you, do not call the rest of the neighborhood and come running to my car, because it will freak me out and I do not have enough money to give all of you. I am not Santa Claus. The scariest thing. One Christmas I was giving away free T-shirts from my dead stock and the kids ran and rocked the van from side to side. I really thought I would die.

Don't you even get it why they act this way? Dahil wala silang makain, at minsan lang mangyari sa kanila yun. They want to share it with the rest because they're all in the same boat. Palibhasa, di mo pa naranasan maghirap, kaya ka ganyan. You have no idea what these people go through, that's why the slightest image of money and food will make them come running.

2) Please do not leave "memories" like handprints, lip prints, saliva on my window.

Kakaloka ka. You expect them to have etiquette and social graces? Bangag ka ate. Di nga nakapag-aral eh, may nalalaman ka pang mga ganyan.

3) Can someone please publish a standardized rate for sampaguita? I'm confused. Sometimes if I give ten pesos, I get one crumby garland. And sometimes if I give ten pesos I get a whole bunch. WTF?

Seryoso ka? I've never complained about what they're selling. I mean I kid about it with them, and they explain, but that's it. Mabuti nga na nagbebenta sila at hindi nagnanakaw. Kung madami kang reklamo, wag mo na lang kunin yung sampaguita, donate mo na lang.

4) Uhm, if you could say thank you, that would be nice.

Sa sobrang gutom at excited ng mga yan, nakakalimutan na nilang mag THANK YOU. Why don't you teach them then? That's what I do, especially the little ones. Before they run off, I say to them, "Uy bata, mag Thank You ka ha?" And they do, and I remind them na dapat ganun lagi. Eh di tapos. Naturuan mo pa sila ng mabuting asal.

5) If you start with a Chrismas carol, please finish the song and do not run away as soon as I give you something.

Eh di patapusin mo muna sa kanta bago ka mag-abot. Walang courtesy yang mga yan, wala ngang napag-aralan eh, kaya kelangan ikaw mag adjust at gumawa ng diskarte ate, para matuto sila.

6) Please do not use the following lines as I have heard it so many times:
a) "Makabenta po lamang."
b) "Pambili po ng baon."
c) "Birthday ko po ngayon." (Kid, it's been your birthday four times this year.)
d) "Makauwi po lamang." (This is a complete lie, because as soon as you buy the whole bunch, the kid goes running to the Mama San for more.)

7) I do go for the line, "Pambili lang po ng pagkain." Very Angela's Ashes.

How could you even call these "lines"? Pucha, you actually think they're making it up? Fine, I can agree with c, but the others might actually be true you know. Grabe ka naman, alam mo, kung talagang gusto mo magbigay, no questions asked yan. Kahit na niloloko ka o hindi, ibigay mo kung talagang ibibigay mo. Wag ng madaming tanong. Sana hindi ka na lang nagbigay. Dami mong arte! Parang P1,000 yung binigay mo diba?

8) Begging does not become you if you have already pubic hair and are stronger than an ox.

Again, walang alam ibang gawin yang mga yan. Walang pinag-aralan, so ni mag secretary or mag delivery boy, eh hindi alam. And do you even have any idea how hard it is to find work out there? I'm sure they've tried to find work, pero wala lang talagang willing mag-hire sa kanila.

9) If I give you a biscuit, candy, T-shirt and there is a long line, please do not ask one for your "kapatid" because I'm not sure if you really have a kapatid and I cannot see that.

Next time na mamimigay ka, make sure you have lots of extras, or better yet, papilahin mo sila para maayos for you. Hanapin mo yung "kapatid" nya kung gusto mo. Hingin mo na din birth certificate nila. Didn't you ever try to make up some lame excuse to get more when you were a kid?

10) Please do not kill each other, and most important, when the light turns green, do NOT run after my car because you could die!!

Di ako sure kung concern ito for the kids, or concern for your car.

P.S. I don't give money to street children sniffing a bag of glue, but I do feel bad for them because I used to think they were mere drug addicts. But I found out glue is something that supposedly kills appetite. They sniff it in lieu of food. That really sucks.

Shouldn't knowing this open your eyes a bit?

Sa susunod, wag ka ng magpopost ng mga ganyan, kasi nakikita yung pagka matapobre mo.

You should go to some outreach or immersion program para maintindihan mo ng mas mabuti. You just rant about their behavior, but all it actually is, is their needs. You haven't seen their conditions first hand, kaya ka ganyan eh.

Eh kung may nagpark na limo sa harap ng SFAS at namimigay ng mga LV, di ka ba tatakbo at makikipag unahan?

That's just the same thing. Don't judge them, because they have nothing else better to do. Their conditions dictate their actions, so wag ka ng mag complain kasi wala silang choice.

If you seriously don't mind giving to beggars, then don't say anything. It's obvious that you do mind, otherwise you wouldn't have had that post. Mas mahaba pa yung pag rant mo kaysa sa pag sabi mo ng "you don't mind giving to beggars".

And yung mga mag cocomment diyan, bring it on. Mag kampihan na kayo as I am set for a good tongue lashing. Let the others see how screwed up you guys are.

And please, kahit mag disclaimer ka pa, matapobre comment talaga ang ginawa mo no. "Only a commentary on something we see everyday in Manila."? Kahabang commentary naman nyan. Sana hindi ka na nag disclaimer kasi mas nahalata ka pa.

LIVE FROM SFO

2007-04-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

Just came from a family reunion.

My 12 year old cousin starts talking to me about the web, YouTube, limewire, the ipod, and boys.

Gosh, feeling dalaga na ito! Eh wala ka pa ngang lovely lady lumps no! Sarap tirisin sobra.

Then she shares with me this site where a dude named Justin, walks around San Francisco, goes about his everyday life, wearing a live webcam on his ear.

This webcam is on 24/7. He wears it in the bathroom, on a date, and yes, while he's sleeping. Kinabog ang Big Brother!

I just checked it out, and the dude's sleeping. It's 12:30AM his time. Ang aga naman matulog nito.

And you can even embed his live video cast in your blog!

Kaloka no?

I wonder what possessed him to do this?

Siguro wala syang masyadong friends.

And aminin natin, padami na ng padami ang sumisikat sa YouTube and web marketing.

There's Alyssa Alano, Von Lee Smith, the lipsynching Asian Backstreet Boys, and Alanis' My Humps parody.

Watch Justin's every move at http://www.justin.tv

THE BIGGEST JERK IN MANILA

2007-04-26T22:38:00.000-07:00

I read this post like a month ago, and was in total shock about it.

Didn't know what to think until I talked to some magazine people who confirmed the incident. Some of which were at the same yacht party and saw and heard everything. Now I'm posting it.

I know he's hella hot ladies. But I'm sure he can't be ALL good. Dapat kasi pumayag na si girl, para di na sya nasaktan. Hardehar.

"Let me tell you about the biggest jerk in Metro Manila.

On Friday night I was at a fabulous yacht party in Manila Bay. After several hours we were all rather tipsy, and I was play fighting with my guy friends (well, I thought they were all friends). You know tripping each other up, pretending to kick each other, etc. Then, I made the mistake of play fighting with Will DeVaughn, The Biggest Jerk in Metro Manila. After pretending to trip him, he pulled my blouse collar down, exposing --well-- a lot. Scandalized, I slapped him. Then he responded by lifting me up by my arms and pressing my wrists so hard against the wall that my hands went numb from the pain. When he let go, I slapped him again -no one gets away with hurting a girl. This time he threw me onto a coach and twisted my arms so that they were pinned painfully behind me. (Note, I am 5'2" and have never worked out in my life, Will is like 5'11" and significantly older and stronger than me). I told him that my brothers would jump him for this, and he responded in all seriousness that he'd have my brothers killed. No one threatens my family, so when he let go I slapped him again. This time he looked me straight in the eye and screamed at me, that if I touched him again he'd throw me against the wall and off the boat (he knew I am afraid of water). So after physically hurting me and threatening to murder my brothers, I could only stand there, too scared to move because I was certain he's make good on his threat.

When he left my guy friends entered the room (there had only been girls in the room whom I hadn't been acquainted with). They were outraged, naturally, so we got into the car so that the guys could confront him at Embassy, where he had went. Karl, a really stand up guy went upstairs to Embassy (still and no matter what the best club in Manila) to tell Will to apologize. Will replied that I should go up and apologize to him! The nerve! Karl naturally called Will an expletive, and the woman-beating egomaniac responded by pushing Karl and asking him how he dared approach Will in "his" club. Appropriately, the bouncers began to drag Will away, but the jerk just went back upstairs and hid. And so he got away. I was so upset by the whole ordeal that I spent the rest of the evening and morning crying, so now I'm sick. Crap.

So Will deVaughn, who has only lived in this country for about two years, who isn't a Filipino citizen, whose only claim to fame is being a model, thinks that he can get away with bruising up girls, threatening to have people killed, and name dropping to a criminal extent. That is why he is The Biggest Jerk in Metro Manila, and deserves to be deported, and I don't care who knows about it."

Source: http://ferrariprincess.multiply.com/journal/item/79

FUNNY AND CREEPY AT THE SAME TIME

2007-04-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

This clip is so so funny.

And the kid is so cute, funny and creepy at the same time.

Will Farrell brings it home with this one.

CLASSIC CLAUDINE BARRETO

2007-04-17T12:07:00.001-07:00

This never fails to crack me up. Buti nga bwahahaha.

KAIRITA ANG ACCENT NI LEA!

2007-04-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

Nakakapang-init ng ulo yung fake brit accent ni Lea I swear!

If I'm not mistaken, this vid was in 1989, the same year Miss Saigon opened in London.

So wala pang isang year, brit na ang accent ni Lea.

And didn't she have a reputation of having a new accent everytime she comes back from wherever?

CLEAR THE AIR

2007-04-12T04:13:00.000-07:00

Let me clear the air for everyone.

I put up this blog because I hate pretentiousness.

Any form of it.

I have come across gazillions of people who are due a much needed bashing because they deserve it. And I have also come across people who don't.

This blog is for those who do.

If you are offended with my blog, and disagree with my opinions, then clearly I have stepped on your nerves. Which also means that you are guilty of the things I aired out.

The ones who chose to laugh about it and poke fun at it are clearly not offended. And most likely are not guilty.

Everyone is entitled to a lifestyle. Yes that is true. But I just seriously wish that people would choose a lifestyle that they can afford. Not a lifestyle to keep up with just because it's cool and people will take notice.

If you can afford it, and comfortably at that, then well and good. But if you can't, and still yearn for these luxuries, then I consider you pretentious.

Chuvaness has been very classy in reacting to my blog post. She thinks it's funny, I hope she knows the kind of people I'm talking about, and clearly she's not offended because she respects my opinions, and she never said anything negative about it. She is clearly someone who has a sense of humor, and someone who is very comfortable about who she is. Thank You for that chuvaness. I thought that LV coffin was hilarious too.

And the post's goal wasn't even to make everyone guilty because you don't share to charities. I mean of course I wish you did, but the post was mainly about people who live beyond their means.

I know of so many who are like this, and it makes me vomit everytime I see them and hear them talk. I would just love to mention their names but I don't want to make a scene. Why can't they just be who they are? Why do they think people will respect them if they have such luxuries?

Again yes, to each his own. If they wanna live in a lie, then go ahead. I'm just glad I'm not friends with these people.

This blog is just my tool of release. It's not the newspaper or The Bible you know. But hey, you gotta admit, it's pretty entertaining. Hardehar.

I'm glad my post sparked some interest.

And I hope it at least made you guys think.

WHAT THE?!

2007-04-11T08:50:00.000-07:00

If you read one of my previous posts about PNTM, they used to put the finalists' pictures on matte boards. Don't ask me why.

I just found a screen shot and I just had to post it.

Doesn't it look really silly? It made Ruffa look like she was carrying a bible or something.

Funny diba?

I wonder whose stupid idea that was?

RUFFA BOOBOO

2007-04-10T10:40:00.000-07:00

Just watched PNTM a few hours ago. Was fishing for more booboos. And lo and behold, I did find a handful.

But I have to highlight the best one, made by the hostess herself.

Ruffa was down to the bottom 2 finalists, and she was expressing her disappointment with Joy, the black beauty of the show.

Ruffa says something like, "Joy, you disappoint me so much. Every week, it's just one disappointment OVER another."

And you could totally see her disappointment when she heard herself. It was like she wanted to correct herself but didn't because it was too late.

Hardehar.

ROBBY CARMONA'S CLASSIC HIRIT ON PNTM

2007-04-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

When I heard about this, halos gumapang ako sa sahig sa kakatawa. In one of the PNTM episodes, Robby comments on one of the finalists,

"I love your legs! Keep it up!"

Amen!

Pic taken from chuvaness.

THE GUCCI GANG AND THE VUITTON VALAHURAS

2007-04-03T02:36:00.000-07:00

I don't and I will never get people who go gaga or gago over luxury items such as Gucci and Vuitton.

I will not fucking spend more than P5K for a bag, or wallet.

Hello?! What's so special about it?

I actually think Vuitton is tacky. I don't like the design. Looks like wallpaper to me. It's not like their bags' shapes are special. It looks like any other bag. The color is bland. That colored one is so cheap. And why the hell would you spend P20,ooo for a bag? A bag is just something you need to carry stuff. Parang bumili ka ng supot na P20,000. And it doesn't even look like P20,000.

It's such a waste of money. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure the material is carefully crafted, it's super soft and very durable, but so is other less expensive brands. And the other brands look so much cooler. And what's so cool with showing up at an event and having the same bag as every celebrity there?

Even if I could afford an LV or Gucci, I would NEVER buy a bag that expensive. I would rather give it to charity, than blow it all on leather with wallpaper print.

Do you LV and Gucci people even give to charity and the church? Di ba kayo nakokonsensya sa pag gastos nyo? You guys are blessed to have money, and I hope you use it the right way. Manghinayang naman kayo sa pera na yan. Palibhasa di nyo pinaghihirapan yang pera kaya ganyan kayo makagastos. All you did was marry a rich guy, political racketeering, pocketing, payola and the like. Buti nakakatulog pa kayo sa gabi after burning that much cash on a bag.

And yes I'm sure it's a status symbol, but why a bag? Why not through a car? Or a house? Or jewelry? Does it make you look better? Does it make you a better person when you carry this bag? Does it mean you're smarter and a cut above the rest when you have this bag? Does it take away all your dirty laundry and negative traits? Will you have more friends? I so do not get it. It's useless, it's all for show, and all you people live in a party where you just kiss each other's ass and compliment each other when you feel like vomitting. You don't land a job or lose a job based on the brand you're wearing. It's what's inside that counts. Sounds corny? Yeah but it's true. I honestly am sure a bag can't guarantee you genuine happiness. But a spa and a good laugh at a movie will.

You know what's interesting too? The people who brag about their LVs and Guccis are new monied people. I'm sure they didn't want LV when they were in highschool. My old rich friends don't even have LVs. We hang out at their pads, they've got like 12 househelp and 8 cars, Patek Phillippes, Chanels, Rolexes, and they consider LV to be cheap looking. And these are people who were born with diamond studded spoons in their mouths. Not silver, not gold, but diamonds. They have millions in their bank accounts, and that's because they know how to spend their money. They spend on what counts. Nothing for show.

I hope you people think before buying these things. Think of how much other things it can buy. Think of donating to a charity or to church. Nobody cares about the brands you wear. And I'm sure you don't wanna be befriended just because you have the nicest bags.

Do something worthwhile please. Don't throw money away.

www.worldvision.org.ph
www.unicef.org/philippines
www.filipinocharity.org
www.childrenshour.org.ph

COMMENT ABOUT RISSA SAMSON

2007-03-23T00:49:00.000-07:00

Just wanna share a comment on one of my posts about Rissa Samson. Tsk, tsk, tsk

"weeks ago, a foreign brand was casting for a show. Of course, certain standards had to be met, specifically the height requirement. all the girls were asked to take their shoes off, and then they all lined up to have their height measured. When Rissa's turn came up, they measured her height at 5'4. At which point, Rissa complained, had her height remeasured (which of course was still 5'4). you wouldn't believe what she did. She actually told them that they were wrong, and insisted that she was actually 5'6. after a lengthy argument, the caster gave in and put it at 5'6. hahaha!"

Sabay sabay tayo tumambling.

PNTM EP 2- BETTER NAMAN IN FAIRNESS

2007-03-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

Hay salamat for PNTM at may ibabash ako every week.

I don't waste my time watching PNTM over Channel 9. Sama na nga ng reception, alanganin pa ang timeslot. Thank God for YouTube, I get to still see this crappy show and laugh my guts out about it.

In fairness naman, the 2nd episode is so much better than the first one. Pero may mga sablay pa din syempre. Still not enough to keep me glued every week. Let's break it down:

1) Wilma is such a breather. She's hilarious, she's not at all pretentious and really honest. She should replace Ruffa as host. Hey, she IS the real model here.

2) Ok sa akin yung pilapil twist. Although it still doesn't apply to the real modeling world. What was it's purpose? Meron bang runway na lubak lubak? I think it was solely for entertainment, but did it teach the models anything? I gotta admit, I was entertained.

3) What's up with the term "Runway Teach"? Is the word "lesson" now being replaced by "teach"? It doesn't even make any sense. Kanino namang pakana yan ha? I'm sure Robby Carmona had something to do with it. And Robby is so obvious na he was told by the directors na i-exaggerate yung reactions nya. OA ka Robby ha! Buti pa si Wilma natural! Ikaw para kang adik!

4) Did anyone notice the misspelled "CHIPMUNK" in the first challenge of the Runway "teach"? It said "CHIMPMUNK"!! Utang na loob! Naloka kaya ako! As in I had to rewind the scene just to check! Wala bang nagproof read nang mga yan? Nakakahiya naman kayo sobra!

5) The challenge on imitating animals has no purpose either. Ang ginagamit lang sa shows are the animals which evoke sensuality, slyness, fierceness, regalness and boldness. Pero worm, mosquito at frog?! Nagpapatawa na kayo eh!

6) Sana naman pinagsalita nyo pa si Vince Uy. He's the authority in that panel, he knows more than Robby Carmona. Pang runway lang si Robby. Hindi sya stylist, hindi sya art director.

7) Salamat at asa gilid na ang mga logo. Malaki pa din, pero at least asa gilid na.

8) Buti naman din at napalitan na ang jurassic na celphone for the icky "Ruffa Text". (I just cringe everytime I hear them say that)

9) Ruffa, gamitin ba ang word na "fierce"? Have some originality naman please lang.

10) Is it my imagination or don't the judges agree on someone at all at once? Pag may sinabi sa Ruffa, icocontradict ni Xander, sasang ayon ang Robby, kontra si Wilma. Ah ewan! Diba dapat nag aagree kayo kasi nga pros kayo and you know best?

11) Napansin nyo mukha ni Rissa Samson when she entered the resto to dine with the challenge winner and friends? Parang di sya looking forward to it talaga. Plastic talaga si Rissa I swear.

12) Paki ayos naman ang website nyo please. Mas maganda pa ako gumawa ng website ng nakapikit kaysa jan.

13) I read a comment in YouTube about Ruffa's outfit and hair, saying kamukha daw nya si Dexter Doria! Bwahahahaha! Come to think of it, mas mukha pang mom ni Ruffa si Dexter Doria kaysa kay Manay Anabelle! Hmmm...

PNTM EP 1- ISA ISAHIN NATIN

2007-03-14T23:12:00.000-07:00

Ito na nga ba sinasabi ko eh.

PNTM premierred March 13 at Channel 9.

And everything I expected it to be was flashing right before my eyes.

Sabi ko na nga ba eh, it's just a cheap knock-off of ANTM.

Let me run you through the disasters:

1) Tyra Mail becomes RUFFA TEXT? Tangina ang pangit! It totally takes away from the visual interest of Tyra Mail. And what's with the ancient cellphone? Mas bago pa cellphone ng driver ko no!

2) Kamusta naman ang sandamakmak na mga logo ng sponsors? Hay sabi ko na nga ba eh, magmumukhang dyaryo 'tong palabas na 'to. May Evian, Pizza Hut, Cocotini, Celine, atbp. Abangan nalang natin ang mga logo ng Smart/Globe, make-up and RTW brands, at mga pagkain. At talagang sa gitna pa talaga nilalagay yung logo! Di man lang sa corner! Argh! Lalo na sa end credits! Utang na loob! Pwede namang text lang ng sponsors diba? JPEG logos talaga eh, at palakihan pa!

3) Ang chaka ng itchura ng screening room ha! Pumapasok pa yung sun dun sa room, ang pangit tignan sa camera! A cousin of mine works as one of the PAs of ANTM, and she tells me how everything is put together. She describes setting up the judging room an epic production. Parang movie daw with the lighting, all lights are metered. May lights on the corners of the room, reflectors under the judges' faces para litaw yung faces nila, and so on. Kaya ganun kaganda yung ANTM. Here, it looks like they used a Handycam to shoot the whole episode. Of course I understand that the outdoor clips are raw, but when you're inside already, you could so easily control the lights. Or maybe it's just Channel 9's reception?

4) The judging is so so so so scripted! Why does Ruffa have to ask each judge what they thought of the photo? Why don't they just jump in and comment? Kasi host si Ruffa and she needs to guide these 3 other judges because they've never done TV before? Ruffa, you're as bad a host as William Hung is with singing. Ang booooorring mo Ruffa! I think you're trying too hard to be like Tyra, and keep in mind honey, that you can't be like Tyra, or any model because YOU ARE NOT A MODEL! Never was and never will be! At kamusta naman ang mga pics na you hand out to the models? Bakit naka matte board ang pics? Ano yan pang frame? Ang alam ko kaya binibigay sa kanila yung pics kasi they can include it in their folio. Mukha tuloy waitress si Ruffa na naghahand-out ng menu! Kakaloka itchura nya nung she was gonna announce the names. Ang kapal kaya ng hawak nya! Parang bible na di mo maintindihan!

5) What is up with the judges' table? I'm sorry but in my opinion, the judges' legs distract me from the show. I don't need to see Xander na nakabukaka sa TV no!

6) Robby Carmona- quit trying to sound like an ANTM judge! Your comments are straight out from an ANTM episode! At wala ka ng sinabi kungdi, "I agree with you Ruffa!" Wala ka bang sarili mong utak?! At pwede ba magtagalog ka na lang? Halos mag nose bleed ka na sa kaka-ingles mo no! "You look like a Brazillian model!" Mga taong tulad mo ang mga salot sa industriya! To hell with Brazillians! Why not love our own? You telling me if a Pinay model looks foreign, she's a cut above the rest? Go to hell Robby! Nauubusan na nga ng trabaho ang mga Pinoy dahil sa mga Brazillian, ganyan ka pa! Argh!

7) Rissa Mananquil screened for PNTM and was credited as a "top model". Ulol, top models are professional, friendly and fair. Si Rissa? None of the above.

8) The top model house is hideous! What the hell are those abstract thingies on the walls? Mukha syang cross stitched or paintings na binili mo sa 4th floor sa Megamall.

9) Just when I thought there was no voice more annoying than Kris Aquino's, meron pala. Kakairita boses ni Ruffa! "Oh my God, I'm about to cry na!"

10) Ang sama ng audio, especially during the first shoot. The camera was picking up most of the street noise, you can hardly hear Xander and Joey talking. Notice how Ruffa's voice is echoing during the announcement of the final 14. Para syang asa banyo! Hindi ba uso sa kanila ang boom or lapel?

11) Joey Mead, Xander Angeles, Wilma Doesnt and Pauline Suaco are spared from this bashing. They actually did a pretty good job. And they did what they had to do, walang labis, walang kulang. They spoke their minds, and criticized the best way possible. Good job people. Buti na lang nilagay si Wilma. She's the only one I love watching in this show. Sya lang ang nagpapakatotoo. The other 3 I mentioned here deliver just the right amount of honesty and humor too.

12) The whole episode was just a big BLAH. Nothing exciting, bad hosting, bad lighting, bad music bed, bad make-up, bad hair, bad house, bad, bad everything.

Tyra will be so disappointed.

STYLE EYE CATCHERS MODEL SEARCH

2007-03-10T10:29:00.000-08:00

I don't even know where to start with this. Sumasakit ulo ko sa mga ito!

This so called "modeling search" has had 6 legs already. A good 95% of the finalists and winners are fuglies (fucking uglies). And to top it all off, this magazine is non-existent. And get this, the winner of the Grand Finale (all winners of all six legs competing) will land on the cover of the magazine that is no where to be found. Ni sa Booksale wala kang makikitang Style.

Now help me with this. I don't even know how this event gets sponsors. Mango, Perry Ellis, Gas, Moschino and Shangri-La? Come on you guys, didn't you even ask for a copy of their magazine and checked the date?

I remember the only 2 covers they had. First was a red one with Cindy Kurleto on the cover (who looked more like Cory Quirino) and a Supermodel issue (how predictable). And now they are no where to be found. Mas sikat pa yung search kesa sa magazine! Now how did that happen?

And ito pa, not one of their winners are seen in any major fashion show, event, TV ad or print ad. This search is crawling with wannabes that I wanna rip my hair off! Sana naman hanapan nyo muna ng trabaho yung nanalo, pasikatin nyo, then do another show. Kaya puro walang kwenta mga sumasali sa inyo eh.

Almost no one in the fashion industry has heard about the event, or maybe if they did they chose to ignore it.

I got to talk to one of the judges in one of the legs, and he said it was such a laugh fest, and he could hardly believe what he was seeing. He even went on to say he doesn't even know how the hell he agreed to judge it in the first place. And I heard too that the word about the search travelled really fast in the industry, so now they're having a hard time getting someone real to judge it!

I guess the person to blame though is the head honcho himself, Rob Altamirano, whom I met at a Canon event years ago. He was cool, but I never saw him as a wannabe, or someone who would give wannabes false hopes.

In fairness naman, the last 2 male winners of this thing are kinda promising. These two make up the 5% of the non-fuglies. But the rest, to the dungeons!

And how about the title huh? Eye Catchers Model Search?! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak! The term EYE CATCHER is so 80s!!!! Chaka. Mas matatake ko pa ang HEAD TURNER or CRUSH NG BAYAN no! Kadiri!

Eh kamusta naman ang host na si Lance Raymundo? Can I just say LAOS or WALANG CAREER or SINO YAN? Sana si Richard Reynoso or si Jojo Alejar na lang nilagay nila diba, tutal pare-pareho naman silang walang career, pero mas sikat naman 'tong dalawang 'to! Buti pa si Jojo Alejar may show. Eh si Lance? All he has are flop albums, and a super talented brother to outshine him forever.

And have you even seen the magazine? The layout is horrible, at nakakahilo ang colors and fonts! It's like PULP meets K-Zone and Totally Girl.

Nakakaawa tuloy yung mga finalist. I'm sure they think na sisikat sila pag nanalo sila sa Style. I hope things like this stop. Events and people like this are preying over innocent wannabes who deserve to know the truth. Grabe 'coz I know these wannabes. They'd do anything just to get a break. Their parents spend and spend on clothes, transportation, pictures, make-up and effort na wala namang pupuntahan.

I just hope these kids finally wake up and smell the roses. They're better off channelling their energies onto something worthwhile and not something they'd be ridiculed at.

Sa Style, itigil nyo na yan. Obvious bang you're using the finalists as bait to nab sponsors? I saw kaya the last leg at the Shang and walang katao tao kaya. Walang nakukuha ang sponsors sa inyo so sana makonsensya naman kayo. And sa mga sponsors naman, wag kayong papaloko. Tignan nyo muna yung magazine nila no, and mag survey muna kayo kung sino mga ka deal nyo. Wala kayong kaalam-alam chuckie pala ang sinosponsoran nyo na event.

I'm sure you wouldn't wanna be associated with fuglies right?

PHILIPPINES' NEXT TOP MODEL

2007-02-05T01:32:00.000-08:00

I am so thrilled about Philippines' Next Top Model. Because of them, I have something new

to bash!

Where do I even fuckin' begin with this?

First of all, I really think it should have been called Manila's Next Top Model. 'Coz "Philippines" as a word doesn't stand alone with the absence of the word "The". It's always, "Welcome to THE PHILIPPINES!", "THE PHILIPPINES is such a nice place!", "I hate the traffic in THE PHILIPPINES!". Tutal, halos lahat naman ng finalist taga Manila.

Second, why the hell is it gonna air over at Channel 9? Pucha, may nanunuod pa ba ng Channel

9? My mom USED TO tune in just to check the time. And I tune it to laugh at Harry Gasser. Solar got this all wrong.

Unang una, bakit si Ruffa? Ah, eh, model ba sya? Ni model housewife hinding hindi din eh. Well fine, siguro naglabas din sya ng kayamanan to franchise ANTM. Pero bakit pa din sya? Mas tatanggapin ko pa na si Celia Rodriguez or si Princess Punzalan ang host, wag lang sya. At syempre, wala syang mga ipapakitang mga pictures connected to the shoots being conducted, unless umaariba sya ngayon sa kakashoot para lang may mapakita sa TV. Ni experience as a model wala syang mashashare. She doesn't even know how to be a model, much less a TOP MODEL. She's not even a top actress for pete's sake. I mean why should the finalist take criticism and advice from someone who hasn't even lived a year of her life as a real model? Baka masampal ko lang sya kung inadvicean nya ako no, wala naman syang alam.

Pangalawa, bakit sa Channel 9? You already know what happened with Philippine Idol being aired at Channel 5. And now repeat performace pa kayo? Wow suicide.

Pangatlo, the people who are going to watch PNTM are the same followers of ANTM. So obviously, they already have set standards, set of course by ANTM. So either PNTM at least matches ANTM or maybe trumps it, which I doubt. ANTM uses harnesses, vintage cars, wild animals and they even go abroad for the shoots. I don't think PNTM can do that. Ni sa mga movies nga natin walang mga harnesses eh, kayo pa? And san naman kayo tatravel? Sa Olongapo? Bulacan? Pampanga? "Pack your bags because we're all going to Mandaue! You, you and you!"

Pang-apat, san nyo ba pinagpupupulot ang mga finalist? You know what, it sounds more like you chose them for their occupations than their looks. I only think 4 are KINDA pretty, but the rest of them can start working at SM.

Haay, gudlak na lang kung may season 2 ng PNTM no. Mag tie up na lang kayo sa Style Magazine para masaya.

GENEVA AND RACHEL WHO?

2006-12-17T23:42:00.000-08:00

I really gotta hand it to Mo Twister. He has a knack for losers. But this entry isn't about Mo. It's about Geneva and Rachel something.

For those of you who have no idea who these bimbos are, lemme clue you in. And mind you, these things I know about them are the same things I have known about them since like 10 years ago. Nothing exciting ever happens to them.

Geneva (the girl who looks like she works at Hooters), is a former member of the vocal group of yesteryear called Smokey Mountain. Other members were Jeffrey Hidalgo, Tony Lambino and Jason Coronel. They had hits such as Kailan and The Coconut Nut, under the tutelage of Maestro Ryan Cayabyab. Heck, the young Geneva can sing, if you call goat noise singing. Her vibratto sounds like a young goat, and that's her best asset.

Growing up, the group disappeared, but Geneva stayed on. Hooking up with Paco Arespacochaga, drummer of the group Introvoys, later on was also knocked up by Paco, and named their boy Heaven, after Introvoys' hit Line To Heaven. Baduy 'di ba? Walang imagination!

And you guessed it, that relationship went to nowhere, so with Geneva's new set of knockers, and a kid, she set her eyes on a new beau, KC Montero, and they have been together ever since (or KC has been with her breasts ever since). Now Geneva's career has gone to zero to non-existent. All she knows how to do is to sing covers of Shakira's Whenever Wherever. Shaking her floaters and booty on noontime tv shows, to pinoy audiences abroad, and maybe some barrio fiestas here and

there.

Rachel Alejandro on the other hand is the daughter of then kilabot ng mga kolehiyala, Hadji Alejandro (ngayon, kulobot na sya). She has had hits such as Mr. Kupido, Kay Tagal, Nakapagtataka (a remake of her dad's hit, how predictable) and Paalam Na (originated from a break up letter in English from beau Dingdong Avanzado, who has a penchant for huge blimp bossoms, ended up with Jessa Zaragoza).

After that break-up and hit, Rachel is now a nobody. She now delivers health food with her sister.

These 2 are best friends. And now I know why. They are both career mishaps, and they are both silicone stuffed dumbheads. They were recently interviewed by Mo Twister in his show, Forbidden

Questions, and when asked which singer they consider overrated, they answered Regine Velasquez.

Teka lang ha. Regine, overrated? I mean hey, I'm not a huge Regine fan. I like her work. I think she's a wonderful, nice and very talented woman. Could her staying power, multi-platinum albums, sold out

concerts, box office hits, endorsements and fan base say anything more?

Kapal naman ng mukha nyong dalawang sabihin 'yan. Wala na nga kayong career, ang sama pa ng ugali nyo. Well, if para mag ingay lang eh why not 'di ba? Ganyan talaga kung wala ka ng maisip na paraan para mapansin.

You two had better look at yourselves in the mirror, deflate your ultra bloated egos (throw your mammaries in), and step down from the clouds.

One word: insecurity.

One more word: laos.

ANOTHER FEAT FOR PINOYS

2006-12-11T21:49:00.000-08:00

Jenn Cuneta is another Filipino we can be so proud of.

Her dance single, "Come Rain Come Shine" is burning the US airwaves and has entered Billboard's Dance Charts Top 10 since it's release. She has obviously followed Jocelyn Enriquez's success years back with "Do You Miss Me?" and "A Little Bit Of Ecstasy." You go girls!

'Come Rain Come Shine' by Keith Caulfield

The first thing you notice about Jenn Cuneta's buoyant 'Come Rain Come Shine' is that it heavily borrows from Wings' 'Silly Love Songs.'

It is a rare Paul McCartney-authorized sample, and the track takes full advantage of the song's springy disco-lite bassline and its unmistakable horn section.

The bubbly 'Come Rain Come Shine' is already a top 10 hit on the Hot Dance Radio Airplay chart and deserves to cross over to mainstream top 40 outlets looking for a sunny pop single.

-----------------------

Born in the Philippines, Jenn moved to the U.S. at a very young age. Jenn performed in numerous talent contests as a kid. She was set to appear on Star Search until her Dad, concerned about her schoolwork, forbid Jenn from continuing.

With tracks produced by Andy & The Lamboy, Jenn has had club dance and radio success with 'Spirit of Man' on Jellybean Records, (that also appeared on the 'Get Carter' soundtrack) as well as 'Potion' on Groovilicious Records and 'Now We are Free' on Tommy Boy Records.

In her native Philippines, Jenn released an album on Star Records and her single and video of 'Chip On My Shoulder' from that album can be seen on the Philippine-American TV channel, ABS-CBN.

Jenn has an incredible love for fashion and has incorporated that into her work. Jenn has held jobs with the fashion houses Armani and Ferragamo in New York.

'Come Rain, Come Shine' represents the first time that Paul McCartney has allowed a song of his ('Silly Love Songs') to be sampled for the dance-pop genre marketplace. Jenn's producers, Andy & the Lamboy, proudly share a co-writing credit with Sir Paul on this track.

It is also Star World's new bumber theme song, with Tata Young singing her own version.

For more if Jenn, check out www.jenncuneta.com

BORGY MANOTOC SAYS THE GOD AWFUL TRUTH

2006-12-09T20:13:00.000-08:00

Borgy Manotoc took Mo Twister's Hot Seat last week, I must say, "AMEN". Not an iota of pretentiousness here. Props Borg.

He got a perfect 40 for answering all of Mo's questions as truthfully as possible, and he also had some answers that sent me reaching for a tissue from laughing with tears.

Read on:

Borgy Manotoc scored perfect 40, meaning, he answered all of DJ Mo's forbidden questions-that might get him in trouble.

Maraming artistang aalma sa mga sagot ni Borgy Manotoc sa 40 Forbidden Questions portion sa radio show ni DJ Mo sa Magic 89.9 na "Good Times" last Wednesday morning, November 28.

The good news is that Borgy scored a perfect 40, meaning nasagot at sinagot niyang lahat ang katanungan sa kanya. Ang apo ng yumaong presidente ng Pilipinas na si Ferdinand Marcos at anak nina Congresswoman Imee Manotoc at former PBA coach Tommy Manotoc ang ikalawang guest celebrity na naka-perfect score sa said Wednesday segment ng show ni DJ sa Magic 89.9, after Manay Lolit Solis. Pumapangalawa sa kanila si Tim Yap na naka 39 out of 40.

The bad news, dahil sinagot niya nga ang lahat ng katanungan, naparakaming artista at celebrities ang nabanggit niya na tiyak na magka-cry foul in these following controversial questions:

Worst dressed celebrity? - Gwen Garci, parang stuck in the '80s, puro neon from head to foot.

Plastic celebrity? - KC Montero (no explanation)

Better in bed, Ornussa Cadness or Sara Meier? - Ornussa

Sasabihan niya ng 'Dude, admit it, you're gay' - Sam Milby (although he also mentioned Piolo Pascual and Lance Raymundo)

Person you won't work with anymore? - Christian Bautista (Christian was invited to an art show to receive or present an award with Borgy. Christian refused daw to go inside the place, just waited inside his car and just wanted someone to cue him kung siya na ang susunod na magri-receive or magpi-present. Medyo naartehan si Borgy sa kanya at nag-side comment pa na baka may ka-sex sa loob ng car kaya ayaw lumabas.)

Famous people you slept with? - Lana Asanin (nung 15 years old siya), Victoria London (forget it daw), Vina Morales (huhuntingin daw siya nito).

Celebrity who you think has gone under the knife? - Pops Fernandez

Celebrities na hindi niya napormahan dahil natameme siya - Ina Raymundo, MTV VJ Nadia Hutagalung, Angel Aquino.

Sa modeling business, Borgy answered the following questions:

Worst billboards? - Bench Understatement ads (yung mga may disco balls) and F&H (Polo Ravales).

Who in the modeling industry would you consider medyo kulang sa brains? - Luke Jickain (kasi daw one time sa isang party walang makausap na matino si Luke so in the end, ang kinausap na lang niya is a 12-year-old boy about computer games).

Model who doesn't look like one? - Robbie Mananquil.

May mga sagot din si Borgy sa mga political questions such as:

Worst Metro Manila cities - Quezon City and Manila

Worst experience with a politician - Joseph Estrada (excited pa naman daw siyang magpa-picture, pero lasing si Erap).

Worst celebrity politician - "My mom!" (joke), Cesar Montano (he joked about their bout sa mayoralty race kuno in Manila)

On sex and personal questions, Borgy has this to say:

Lost his virginity -14 years old with a girl na 16 years old.

How long is "yours" (penis size)? -An inch shorter than Troy Montero's (Troy answered 8" so 7" siya).

Weirdest place he had sex with someone - In a photo studio during a shoot in between costume change

Last time he masturbated - Yesterday (Tuesday) morning in the shower - a good thing to do waking up without his girlfriend around

Cheated on his girlfriend? - No (maraming callers ang hindi naniwala).

Threesome - "Yes, once, but I did not enjoy this."

Man crush? - John Hall (walang bahid ng kabadingan at hindi vain).

MODEL WANNABES

2006-09-10T00:38:00.000-07:00

Don't have any choice but to be brutal with this. Haaaay. Manila is crawling with model wannabes, and I'm not even exaggerating.
I have been invited to screen models for countless shows, events, pageants, contests and the like, and I must say, malapit na ako mag bigti.

I'm not even doing this for the money. My industry friends just trust my impeccable taste so much, that they have to have me on the committee.

And it's not like I can keep my mouth shut too. As soon as a wannabe steps in the screening room, I'm sure they can see me cringe in my seat.

Ewan ko ba, parang uso ata ang maging model ngayon. Dati, lahat gusto mag artista. Ngayon mag model naman. I don't even know who to blame. Wala pa namang sumisikat na model na walang K, so I don't even know who these people's poster boy/girl is.

I personally feel that these people should be hit with a huge chunk of reality earlier on. And I think their parents should be responsible for that.

I'm sure mga magulang ang dapat sisihin jan. It's like any other contest actually. Take American Idol/Philippine Idol. Doesn't this cross your mind everytime they show the bad auditions? Parang "ok ka lang?" Friends and family ang may sala jan. I'm sure, yung taong yan, minsan lang napakanta sa isang family reunion or school program, and instead of telling him or her the truth, praises galore ang mga kamag-anak. Syempre, this will go to the person's head. Feeling nya, wow, I rock. And feeling nya, may K sya. Sarap pagsasampalin ang mga ito!

You guys have no idea what I'm even talking about. See that guy I put up there? Gusto nya mag-model. This picture is an actual application to a modeling agency. Utang na loob! Sinayang lang nya ang oras ng photographer, lightsman, staff ng studio, at nasayang pa tuloy ang napaka-sosy na marble background! Sayang din sa photopaper! Nag-sayang din sya ng pera! Sana inipon na lang nya yung pera at nag pa-opera na lang sya diba? Sulit!

Haaaay naku. Actually, kawawa ang mga ito. Kasi mapapagod at mauubos lang ang pera nila sa kapupunta sa mga go-see, sa pag develop ng mga pics, at pagpapa kuha ng studio shots, eh wala namang nangyayari sa kanila.

Isa pa, hindi porke kayo ang pinaka-maganda at gwapo sa barkada nyo, ibig sabihi pwede na kayo mag-model or mag-artista! Eh ako nga, ilang beses na akong inalok na mag-model or mag-artista, ako pa umayaw. Ganyan dapat. Tignan nyo muna kung nilalapitan man lang kayo. Ng mga agent ha, hindi langaw.

Dapat talaga sa mga yan, sinasabihan ng totoo. I'm sure they'll cry like hell, but fuck it. They need the reality bite, so be it. Nakatulong pa ako sa sangkatauhan dahil hindi na lalabas ng bahay ang mga ganito.

I think shows like Pinoy Big Brother, Star Struck and the like are partly to blame. They made Rainier Castillo and Hero Angeles famous, and now people like them think, "hey, I can do that too." Kaya nga ba salot sa lipunan ang mga ganyang shows. It's a fuckin' waste of time, and I would rather watch Maury and Jerry Springer than watch a minute of those shows.

I'm sure all the screening committees of the TV and Fashion industry agree with me and feel the same way. But they're just too nice to say anything. Well that's what I'm here for, to speak the painful truth...

"MAGISING KAYO SA KATUTUHANAN! WALA KAYONG KARAPATAN MAG-MODEL AT MAG-ARTISTA DAHIL NAKAKATAKOT KAYO! BUMILI MUNA KAYO NG SALAMIN BAGO KAYO LUMABAS NG BAHAY! SABAYAN NYO NA RIN NG ISANG DRUM NG KAPE PARA NERBYOSIN KAYO NG SLIGHT! HINDI KAYO MODEL! BAKA MODEL EMPLOYEE PWEDE PA! 'WAG NYONG SAYANGIN ANG ORAS NAMIN!"

Ang mean ba? So what? They need that. And sana naman ma-gets na nila 'no. 'Di ba kayo nagtataka kung bakit masungit lagi ang mga staff sa go-see? Dahil sa inyo 'no! Nakaka-init kaya ng dugo yung mag screen ng mga mukhang katulong at trabahador. Ginamit nyo na nga yung damit ng amo nyo, nag side trip pa kayo sa pagbili ng suka sa kanto.

It is up to us industry people to teach these individuals a lesson. Kasi kung hindi, this will never stop. We'll be doing them a favor. Hindi na sila mapapahiya next time, makakatipid na sila sa pamasahe at gastos, at lalaki silang mabubuting mamamayan dahil alam na nila ang katutuhanan.

Kaya mga feeling model jan, kapag naka mga 30 na go-see na kayo, at ni isa walang tumawag, mag-isip isip na kayo. Baka naman it's time to rethink your career path.

Madami call centers jan. Ang SM laging naghahanap ng staff sa department store. Makakapag make-up pa kayo ng blue at pink. Mga restos jan laging naghahanap ng crew. Mga events group kelangan ng mga taga-buhat. Mga TV station laging kelangan ng bagong staff. Sa Post Office pwede din kayo. Sa Census, SSS, LTO at Malabanan, madaming opening jan. At madami ding bahay sa Manila na kelangang linisin.

PMAP (Pangit na mga Models at Atribidang Pandak)

2006-09-01T03:25:00.000-07:00

Hmmm where do I start with them?

How about the fact that not one of them have any right to be in a PROFESSIONAL models association?

Lemme start with the "president", Rissa Samson. Now how in the world did a midget become the president of this association?! She's the smallest among the group. She has the weirdest excuse for dimples, the worst walk I've ever seen, and she's not even nice! I'm sparing her sister, Raya Mananquil, 'coz in fairness to Raya, may K naman ang ate natin. She has the height, the cheekbones, the walk. She's all model material. But Rissa?! Eeeek. I don't think so. Kung ganyan din ang mga modelo ngayon, eh di rumarampa na din ako sa Milan. And how about their brother, Robby "Apeman" Mananquil? I think if I'm not mistaken, he made his professional debut in the movie Planet of the Apes. Sure he has the body, but that's it. You guys ever heard of the term "hipon" to describe men with fab bodies but unexplainable faces? Well si Robby, he's not even a hipon to me. Lahat itatapon ko. And I even love shrimp! Ganyan sya ka pangit. Syempre, we can't forget na the reason why they got into the industry is because of their mom, Millet "Queen Amidala" Mananquil. Need I say more? I can just imagine how the conversation went:

"Ma, we want to be supermodels! Kaya lang Ma, you know, we're not really qualified. We're not even at least attractive. Lalo na ako Ma, buti pa si Raya, like, she looks like a model talaga. I'm like, unano eh. Weird pa ng dimples ko. I don't know how to make lakad pa. Para akong elephant mag walk eh. Si Robby, at least he's working out na. Maganda na katawan ni Robby, pero luwa na nga mata nya, he's so pangit pa. Doesn't he look like King Kong, Ma? Or Bakekang? 'Di naman nakukuha sa workout ang mukha eh. Why don't you bring me to Belo, Ma? Para at least I'm presentable 'di ba?"

"Anak, Dra. Belo's not a magician. You would need a mason and jackhammer to fix your face. Gamitin mo yung mga tools na ginamit sa paggawa ng mansion nating 'to. Idasal mo na lang yan, anak. Pero sige, I'll pull all my strings. Bukas na bukas supermodels na kayo. Ako bahala..."

Sus, kung nanay ko din yan, eh di sana model na din ako ng Bulgari. Ang powers nga naman.

Next is Valerie "who looks too much like Vic Sotto" delos Santos. She has one expression, and it's not even a nice one. The constipated look just isn't working on her. Her sexy, angry, seducing, sad and happy faces are all the same.

Bubbles "thunder thighs" Paraiso. Self explanatory.

Phoemela "Adik" Barranda. Isn't being a drug addict grounds for dismissal in a "professional" models association? Let's not forget the reason why she was kicked out of Extra Challenge. But yes, she's still in the "professional" models association. A board member even.

And why the hell are there foreigners in PMAP? Akala ko ba of the PHILIPPINES? Haaaaay naku. So tama nga ang mga sinasabi ng mga tao.

PMAP uses new recruits to attract new clients, but they still hog all the projects to themselves. Tsk, tsk tsk. Actually, I don't recall any all PMAP show where all the board members aren't there. Syempre complete ang magkakabarkada. Politics nga naman. Take for example a client needs 12 models for a jewelry show, and calls on PMAP to do the show. Those 12 slots will be filled up by the board members first. If say there are 2 who can't do the show, they're gonna open up those 2 slots, and the rest of the PMAP members will vie for those 2 remaining slots. Syempre, they find out about the go-sees way before the new members do.

Examples: The C2 campaign, both PMAP board members Robby Mananquil and Isabel Roces. Balita ko there's this instant noodles TV ad na puro PMAP girl board members din. And there's this BULGARI PR Shoot din na all PMAP board members din. Hay hindi talaga makatarungan!

Well, their time is up soon anyway. Very soon. Wrinkles, flab, cellulite, lung cancer, and diminishing brain cells are just catching up with them. I'm giving them 2 years. Soon all of them will have to resort to science to save their so-called beauty. Botox, mesotherapy, liposuction, and breast lifts will be the qualifications to join PMAP. Hey, baka pwede mag-apply si Ellen? If maging PMAP member sya, libre pa mga services for all PMAP members sa Ellen's! Eh di iisa na lang ang look ng PMAP! Halloween all year round! Panalo 'diba?

I have always thought about why THEY have a professional models association. Not any of them have won any recognition whatsoever, so what makes them the AUTHORITY in professionalising the industry? The people who SHOULD put up a LEGIT association are models who have reaped awards here and abroad, have the credentials to prove it, have worked with the who's who, and who knows what it is to be a profesionnal model globally, and not just having a powerful mama to back them up.

People like Charo Ronquillo, 2tay Maristela, Verns Buckley, Alex Aquino, Rocky Salumbides, Melanie Marquez, Anna Bayle and others should get together. These are the ones who have every right to put up an association, because they have proved themselves as models, not in the number of shows and endorsements they've done, but in the quest to reach the international standard.

And I have talked to other models such as Brad Murdoch, Dos Quong and Trishan Cuaso, and they have nothing nice to say about PMAP.

Even people from Summit have some nasty things to say about them.

Grabe girls, ang tatanda nyo na, ganyan pa kayo. Believe in the power of karma. You may be professional with your meeting the call times and other things that are expected of a model, but I would rather hire someone who could step down from her pedestal, than hire any one of you who can't even admit that your time is up. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Kaya yung mga bagong modelo jan, join na lang kayo ng agency, mapapaglaban pa kayo ng agency, at walang suwapangan sa project. Syempre nga naman, yung bossing nyo sa association, model din, so bakit nga naman nya i-shashare yung biyaya? Sa agency, client ang mamimili. Your agent/manager can't push anyone if the client doesn't want to. Kaya fair. You feel so special pa dahil pinili ka talaga, at hindi by default kasi hindi pwede yung isa sa mga bossing. Laos talaga!

To be fair, PMAP does have good goals. They have fines and cancellation fees when their models are late or do not show up. They demand that their models eat on time. Fitting and rehearsal days are charged as separate days. I appreciate that.

They even have out reach programs and meet and greets. But these events are just socializing events in the guise of worthy causes.

But an agency can implement these rates and rules as well right? So why would you need PMAP? Unless gusto mo ikaw ang pinakamaganda sa grupo, why not?

Buti pa si Bubbles, aminado na wala na syang career, kaya nag artista na lang.

Way to go, chubs.

Hi Rissa. Expect Ellen's call ok? Maganda yung x-deal package na i-ooffer nya.

TIM YAK!

2006-08-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

Now where the hell do I start with this guy? How in the world did a chinese guy, who buckles and almost drools everytime he talks, get in the biz?

I suppose he has some sort of talent, I mean everyone does right? But how come I still haven't seen it?

He calls himself an "eventologist", his cool way of saying "event organizer". How come "eventologist" sounds like someone who puts together animal shows? Like circuses and carnival acts. Is he also a lion tamer by day? Maybe that's his secret talent.

I just don't get why he's up there. I mean sure, he hooked up with one of the The Philippine Daily Inquirer's big bosses. Got himself a pad in wackwack, courtesy of his "boss". He does have a regular column which he fondly calles YAPARAZZI. (for someone who the public sees as creative and witty, can't he think of something better? Like YAPUNZEL, or YAPPING AWAY, or even BRIDGING THE YAP, or something.) So screwing the boss does get you places.

How can someone with no fashion sense at all be called a fashion plate? All I know is that bling, blonde hair, and fur, on an asian guy, will never make any sense. Unless you're a pimp doubling as a bad rahash of some asian boyband. And he's the creative director of PDI's Super? I mean come on! He doesn't even wear any of the stuff in the papers 'coz they're just way too normal for him. How about a white trench coat, with an irritatingly cute Hello Kitty doll stuck to his chest? I used to like Hello Kitty, but now I prefer Felix. And I think Kitty could do better. If Hello Kitty could talk, I'm sure he wouldn't have let Tim put him on his chest. I'm sure it was the most humiliating experience of Hello Kitty's life.

And now he has a show on MTV called BLING. And that poster aaargh! With a crown?! What the fuck do we care about Tim Yap interviewing the socialites and partyphiles of Manila?!

Shows like this promote such a negative principle. They have created this image that if you don't get interviewed by Tim, or your business was never featured in these shows, you just suck. And that's not how it's supposed to be. Not just because you have a show it means you know everything. Not just because you know the big people means you're big yourself. Not just because you're in the papers it means you're a hotshot. It just means there are lots of people out there, stupid enough to actually think that you're someone. And the papers, TV and media are taking advantage of this. Why the fuck would I want a Tim Yap wallpaper for my cellphone? I don't even know a single soul who has a Tim Yap wallpaper. (which only means I hang out with the right people.) Maybe that's what they meant with phone viruses.

And don't get me started on Embassy, which is co-owned by Yak by the way. P600 just to set foot in that hell, where drugs, booze and bad taste come together?! It is not cool to be one of those people. People who go to Embassy are actually the ones to blame for Tim Yap's success. He rakes in thousands of bucks, giving him more money to buy bad taste, laughs his way to the bank everyday, and you guys are out P600 a night, and you didn't even get a single bottle of beer. And an additional P500 to breathe the air of the VIP rooms? I'd rather suck in the stench of the MRT bathrooms.

I have actually talked to some people saying they want to go to Embassy just to see Tim Yap in person. Wow, now that's fucked up. I'd rather see Barney and The Teletubbies do a dance number than see him. Are you people on drugs or something? Oh I forgot, you hang out at Embassy, so yeah, you guys ARE drugged.

I am happy though for the gayness that he's brought into the culture. Never before has a gay guy been in the mainstream as he is. But I'm guessing most homos hate him as well. I think he's a disgrace to the gay community. I have a lot of gay friends, so I know what it is to be gay. But when Tim Yap came about, I was like, "Now THAT'S gay!"

I am sparing Tim's close friends, Tessa Prieto and Celine Lopez. I have met both ladies and they are nice as hell. Tessa, no matter how weird her outfits are, carries those outfits like no one else can. And she candidly admits that she makes her own accessories and buys the materials at Quiapo. Now isn't that nice to hear? No pretentiousness there. That made me like her even more. Celine is also a nice girl. She's very polite, very friendly and would at least smile when you look at her. Sure it might be fake, but at least she's faking it. I'd appreciate that more, not like the brat Tim is.

I'm ending this Tim bashing only because talking about him gives me such a headache, and my stomach churns, and I know that he likes being talked about.

I ain't giving him that satisfaction.

GREETINGS COMMONERS AND PRETENTIOUS FOLK!

2006-08-27T01:49:00.000-07:00

I have thought about putting up this blog for months now. I don't even know what stopped me. Probably because when you're as perfect as I am, you won't even waste an iota of your time for people who aren't even a fourth as perfect as you are.

But I realized that these people (the imperfectionists that they are) need to be brought down from their pedestals and a severe beating follows afterwards.

Manila is crawling and overflowing with pretentious people. That's why this blog will run for centuries, way after I'm long gone, and there will still be pretentious folk. When the time comes when I'm too old to be blogging (but still perfect mind you), I may conduct a search for my successor.

It won't be easy, but I'm sure I'll find someone who will fit my shoes perfectly.

Until then, let the bashing begin.