PINOY IDLE

Yes I know dear readers, I have been on hiatus for months now, and I do apologize for not dishing out piping hot bash worthy people, but I will try to get back on track. Been so busy with my own life, I didn't have the time to diss!

But with this one, I just can't keep my mouth shut. I have to say something about this.

If you guys didn't know already, Pinoy Idol has been airing for about a month and a half now since the audition tapes, and the Top 24 has been performing for 3 weeks now. And 8 contestants have already been eliminated since.

So why this post? It's not about the contestants. It's the show itself.

Lemme start with Raymond "Goodyear Blimp" Gutierrez.

Tangina naman. Bakit naman sya ang host? Has he even proven himself as a good host to deserve that job? And can't you guys be a little more discreet? I can smell Anabelle Rama's handiwork all over this.

He's a bad host, who has nothing good to say, who is obviously reading the prompter, who's so gay that it's chapping my ass, and is a walking tub of lard!

Trying pa talagang magsuot ng neutral colors and form fitting clothes. Kapatid, walang effect. Butanding pa din ang itsura mo no. Di na kayo mukhang kambal ni Richard. Malayong malayo na. Argh! I would take Maurice Arcache to host anything over this fag any day!

Now the judges.

Ogie Alcasid. So far ok ka naman. Kaya lang, I feel like you don't ever wanna sound like the bad guy. Lagi kang may kambyo. "You know may konting pitch problems, but you know what, I liked it!" Strap on a pair Ogie! It's either you liked it, or you don't. Most of these contestants are amateurs, so cut them some slack. Some of them are pros, but still have to deal with the pressure of performing in live TV. So maybe you could hold off on being too technical until the Top 12 comes. 'Coz then you can say that by now, they should've learned already how to contain the nerves, and just perform. Although I have new found respect for you Ogie. Lasalista ka nga.

Jolina Magdangal. It's so obvious that she was made a judge para manuod fans nya sa kanya, para tumaas ang ratings ng show. Wala kang kwenta iha. Wala kang K magsabi ng mga "walang dating", "di ka nag iimprove", "ang sama ng diction mo", kasi ikaw mismo eh mga problema mo yan na di mo na na-correct. At ining, ang "thumbs up" ay hindi comment pwede ba.

Wyngard Tracy. Now where do I start with this relic trainwreck? Unang una, di ka kumakanta lola, kaya wala kang karapatan magsabi ng mga "flat" at "sharp". Kaya ka tuloy binabara ni Ogie, dahil wala ka namang tenga ng singer, kaya shut up and fly na lang tanda, please lang. And pwede ba, stop criticizing their clothes! Ang pagalitan mo yung mga stylist na walang kwenta! If you have nothing to say, just keep it that way. Don't try to be witty, because you're not. TH ka magpatawa ate. You'll never be Simon Cowell, so please don't try to be him.

And now the so-called "director", Louie Ignacio. Now this guy just doesn't get it. Chaka ng direction mo mare. Kasing chaka ng buhok at kutis mo. Di naman kasi music video ang TV show eh, kelangan ba pare-pareho ang treatment? Kahit na gano kadaming ilaw ang idagdag mo sa set na yan, kita pa din ang mga chismis ng kutis ng mga judges at contestant no! Ang harsh ng mga ilaw mo, at least man lang wag i-close up di ba? Para namang nananadya ka nyan eh, para maeliminate yung contestant na chaka ang skin. Diba sa mga artista, may mga special request sila sa mga kuha nila, why can't it be the same for these contestants? Kasi nobody sila ganun ba? Ay politika nga naman. Chaka ng mga pag pan, chaka ng ilaw, chaka ng editing, chaka ng set, chaka ng mga angulo, chaka ng mga kitang-kitang mga shadow ng camera man, chaka ng mga graphics at font, chaka ng sound, chaka ng recap, chaka ng lahat talaga! Chaka mo Louie!

Pati ang website, day, di man lang real time. At wala pang kalaman-laman. Ano bang klase yan? Para lang masabing may website. Potah, sara nyo na yan. Mabuti pa ung mga blogs jan, puspusan ang pag uupdate, at may real time updates pa. Tinalo pa kayo. Loschina.

PI should stand for Putang Ina. Hoy GMA, gising!

Pati pangalan at spelling ng mga contestant, kinailangan pa bang palitan? Kasi para magtunog cool ganun? Kasi mejo di kagandahan ang mga tunog ng names nila ganun? Sana palitan nyo na lang pag nanalo na diba? Ang kapangit-pangit na pangalan na Jonalyn Viray nga di nyo pinalitan eh no! Walang pakialaman!

And alam nyo ba, na dahil sa sobrang baba ng ratings ng Pinoy Idol, at dahil walang bumoboto, they had to manipulate the votes and eliminated some of the good ones? Tama ba yun? Walang konsensya talaga ang GMA7. Didn't you even think of the kind of trauma that would cause the contestants you eliminated? Para lang tumaas ang ratings, deadma sa feelings ng ibang tao.

And napansin nyo din ba na never pa sinasabi kung ilan ang nag cast ng votes? Kasi baka 1000 lang, baka lower pa. Well, if sabihin nila na 1M votes ang na-cast, as if maniniwala tayo diba?

This show is such a disgrace to the American Idol franchise. Good luck na lang kung may 2nd season pa diba.

Fine, nag dadagdag kayo ng mga bagong ilaw, at mga monitor at kung ano pang mga anik-anik, pero diba dapat nung umpisa pa lang yan? Ano yan, so mapapanuod na lang namin ung pinakamandang show sa last episode? Kalokohan.

Like I've been telling people, palabas yan eh. Kelangan kumita. Kaya gawin na lahat para happy ang AI, happy ang sponsors, happy ang tao, sad ang contestants. Kaya magtanggal na lang ng mga magagaling na contestant, para may gulpi de gulat na episode diba, para mapansin. Marketing nga naman.

Yang mga stylist na yan, ang sarap din pagbababarilin. Wala ng alam kung hindi neutrals, stripes, layering, bangles at belt. Gumagamit lang ng kulay pag mag production number.

Di man lang pansinin na hindi flattering sa contestant ang mga pinapasuot nyo. Kayo namang mga contestant, matuto naman kayo mag reklamo no. Mukha na nga kayong mag gogolf, di pa kayo magsasalita. You should have the last say on what you're gonna wear, because it will definitely affect your performance in the smallest way. It won't hurt to suggest you know, and maybe meet halfway. Huwag kayo matatakot magsalita and mag complain. The stylists don't know everything. And remember, artists kayo. Before you entered the competition, may kanya kanya na kayong identity.

A competition based on text voting will never work in the Philippines. Why? Ang Pinoy, kahit na kapitbahay ng pinsan ni chever, kahit di personally kilala, at di naman alam kung may kagalingan o hindi, iboboto pa din.

And aminin na natin, ang nananalo sa mga contest na yan ay laging may itchura, secondary na lang ang talent. Swerte na lang kung both diba. Kasi nga naman, asa GMA 7 ka na diba, eh if lugmok ang singing career mo, gagawin ka na lang artista ng GMA diba? Kelangan ka mapag kakitaan eh. Iilan lang ba ang nanalo na walang fez? Si Frenchy lang ata ang alam ko na ganun, pero the rest, laging at least may itchura. Kaya tama na ang kahibangan.

Wag ng magbalak ng mga ganyang contest. Yung judges na lang ang mamili ng mananalo para tapos na. Tutal, kaya nga kayo nilagay dyan dahil supposedly you guys know best. So why leave it to the people? They don't know any better.Sayang lang ang oras at talent ng mga contestant kung ieexploit nyo lang.

Yun lang pow. Sumakit ulo ko dun 'nyeta. Tubig nga.