Sunday, December 17, 2006


I really gotta hand it to Mo Twister. He has a knack for losers. But this entry isn't about Mo. It's about Geneva and Rachel something.

For those of you who have no idea who these bimbos are, lemme clue you in. And mind you, these things I know about them are the same things I have known about them since like 10 years ago. Nothing exciting ever happens to them.

Geneva (the girl who looks like she works at Hooters), is a former member of the vocal group of yesteryear called Smokey Mountain. Other members were Jeffrey Hidalgo, Tony Lambino and Jason Coronel. They had hits such as Kailan and The Coconut Nut, under the tutelage of Maestro Ryan Cayabyab. Heck, the young Geneva can sing, if you call goat noise singing. Her vibratto sounds like a young goat, and that's her best asset.
Growing up, the group disappeared, but Geneva stayed on. Hooking up with Paco Arespacochaga, drummer of the group Introvoys, later on was also knocked up by Paco, and named their boy Heaven, after Introvoys' hit Line To Heaven. Baduy 'di ba? Walang imagination!

And you guessed it, that relationship went to nowhere, so with Geneva's new set of knockers, and a kid, she set her eyes on a new beau, KC Montero, and they have been together ever since (or KC has been with her breasts ever since). Now Geneva's career has gone to zero to non-existent. All she knows how to do is to sing covers of Shakira's Whenever Wherever. Shaking her floaters and booty on noontime tv shows, to pinoy audiences abroad, and maybe some barrio fiestas here and
Rachel Alejandro on the other hand is the daughter of then kilabot ng mga kolehiyala, Hadji Alejandro (ngayon, kulobot na sya). She has had hits such as Mr. Kupido, Kay Tagal, Nakapagtataka (a remake of her dad's hit, how predictable) and Paalam Na (originated from a break up letter in English from beau Dingdong Avanzado, who has a penchant for huge blimp bossoms, ended up with Jessa Zaragoza).

After that break-up and hit, Rachel is now a nobody. She now delivers health food with her sister.
These 2 are best friends. And now I know why. They are both career mishaps, and they are both silicone stuffed dumbheads. They were recently interviewed by Mo Twister in his show, Forbidden
Questions, and when asked which singer they consider overrated, they answered Regine Velasquez.

Teka lang ha. Regine, overrated? I mean hey, I'm not a huge Regine fan. I like her work. I think she's a wonderful, nice and very talented woman. Could her staying power, multi-platinum albums, sold out
concerts, box office hits, endorsements and fan base say anything more?

Kapal naman ng mukha nyong dalawang sabihin 'yan. Wala na nga kayong career, ang sama pa ng ugali nyo. Well, if para mag ingay lang eh why not 'di ba? Ganyan talaga kung wala ka ng maisip na paraan para mapansin.
You two had better look at yourselves in the mirror, deflate your ultra bloated egos (throw your mammaries in), and step down from the clouds.

One word: insecurity.
One more word: laos.

Monday, December 11, 2006


Jenn Cuneta is another Filipino we can be so proud of.
Her dance single, "Come Rain Come Shine" is burning the US airwaves and has entered Billboard's Dance Charts Top 10 since it's release. She has obviously followed Jocelyn Enriquez's success years back with "Do You Miss Me?" and "A Little Bit Of Ecstasy." You go girls!
'Come Rain Come Shine' by Keith Caulfield
The first thing you notice about Jenn Cuneta's buoyant 'Come Rain Come Shine' is that it heavily borrows from Wings' 'Silly Love Songs.'
It is a rare Paul McCartney-authorized sample, and the track takes full advantage of the song's springy disco-lite bassline and its unmistakable horn section.
The bubbly 'Come Rain Come Shine' is already a top 10 hit on the Hot Dance Radio Airplay chart and deserves to cross over to mainstream top 40 outlets looking for a sunny pop single.
Born in the Philippines, Jenn moved to the U.S. at a very young age. Jenn performed in numerous talent contests as a kid. She was set to appear on Star Search until her Dad, concerned about her schoolwork, forbid Jenn from continuing.
With tracks produced by Andy & The Lamboy, Jenn has had club dance and radio success with 'Spirit of Man' on Jellybean Records, (that also appeared on the 'Get Carter' soundtrack) as well as 'Potion' on Groovilicious Records and 'Now We are Free' on Tommy Boy Records.
In her native Philippines, Jenn released an album on Star Records and her single and video of 'Chip On My Shoulder' from that album can be seen on the Philippine-American TV channel, ABS-CBN.
Jenn has an incredible love for fashion and has incorporated that into her work. Jenn has held jobs with the fashion houses Armani and Ferragamo in New York.
'Come Rain, Come Shine' represents the first time that Paul McCartney has allowed a song of his ('Silly Love Songs') to be sampled for the dance-pop genre marketplace. Jenn's producers, Andy & the Lamboy, proudly share a co-writing credit with Sir Paul on this track.

It is also Star World's new bumber theme song, with Tata Young singing her own version.

For more if Jenn, check out

Saturday, December 09, 2006


Borgy Manotoc took Mo Twister's Hot Seat last week, I must say, "AMEN". Not an iota of pretentiousness here. Props Borg.

He got a perfect 40 for answering all of Mo's questions as truthfully as possible, and he also had some answers that sent me reaching for a tissue from laughing with tears.

Read on:

Borgy Manotoc scored perfect 40, meaning, he answered all of DJ Mo's forbidden questions-that might get him in trouble.

Maraming artistang aalma sa mga sagot ni Borgy Manotoc sa 40 Forbidden Questions portion sa radio show ni DJ Mo sa Magic 89.9 na "Good Times" last Wednesday morning, November 28.

The good news is that Borgy scored a perfect 40, meaning nasagot at sinagot niyang lahat ang katanungan sa kanya. Ang apo ng yumaong presidente ng Pilipinas na si Ferdinand Marcos at anak nina Congresswoman Imee Manotoc at former PBA coach Tommy Manotoc ang ikalawang guest celebrity na naka-perfect score sa said Wednesday segment ng show ni DJ sa Magic 89.9, after Manay Lolit Solis. Pumapangalawa sa kanila si Tim Yap na naka 39 out of 40.

The bad news, dahil sinagot niya nga ang lahat ng katanungan, naparakaming artista at celebrities ang nabanggit niya na tiyak na magka-cry foul in these following controversial questions:

Worst dressed celebrity? - Gwen Garci, parang stuck in the '80s, puro neon from head to foot.

Plastic celebrity? - KC Montero (no explanation)

Better in bed, Ornussa Cadness or Sara Meier? - Ornussa

Sasabihan niya ng 'Dude, admit it, you're gay' - Sam Milby (although he also mentioned Piolo Pascual and Lance Raymundo)

Person you won't work with anymore? - Christian Bautista (Christian was invited to an art show to receive or present an award with Borgy. Christian refused daw to go inside the place, just waited inside his car and just wanted someone to cue him kung siya na ang susunod na magri-receive or magpi-present. Medyo naartehan si Borgy sa kanya at nag-side comment pa na baka may ka-sex sa loob ng car kaya ayaw lumabas.)

Famous people you slept with? - Lana Asanin (nung 15 years old siya), Victoria London (forget it daw), Vina Morales (huhuntingin daw siya nito).

Celebrity who you think has gone under the knife? - Pops Fernandez

Celebrities na hindi niya napormahan dahil natameme siya - Ina Raymundo, MTV VJ Nadia Hutagalung, Angel Aquino.

Sa modeling business, Borgy answered the following questions:

Worst billboards? - Bench Understatement ads (yung mga may disco balls) and F&H (Polo Ravales).

Who in the modeling industry would you consider medyo kulang sa brains? - Luke Jickain (kasi daw one time sa isang party walang makausap na matino si Luke so in the end, ang kinausap na lang niya is a 12-year-old boy about computer games).

Model who doesn't look like one? - Robbie Mananquil.

May mga sagot din si Borgy sa mga political questions such as:

Worst Metro Manila cities - Quezon City and Manila

Worst experience with a politician - Joseph Estrada (excited pa naman daw siyang magpa-picture, pero lasing si Erap).

Worst celebrity politician - "My mom!" (joke), Cesar Montano (he joked about their bout sa mayoralty race kuno in Manila)

On sex and personal questions, Borgy has this to say:

Lost his virginity -14 years old with a girl na 16 years old.

How long is "yours" (penis size)? -An inch shorter than Troy Montero's (Troy answered 8" so 7" siya).

Weirdest place he had sex with someone - In a photo studio during a shoot in between costume change

Last time he masturbated - Yesterday (Tuesday) morning in the shower - a good thing to do waking up without his girlfriend around

Cheated on his girlfriend? - No (maraming callers ang hindi naniwala).

Threesome - "Yes, once, but I did not enjoy this."

Man crush? - John Hall (walang bahid ng kabadingan at hindi vain).

Sunday, September 10, 2006


Don't have any choice but to be brutal with this. Haaaay. Manila is crawling with model wannabes, and I'm not even exaggerating.
I have been invited to screen models for countless shows, events, pageants, contests and the like, and I must say, malapit na ako mag bigti.

I'm not even doing this for the money. My industry friends just trust my impeccable taste so much, that they have to have me on the committee.

And it's not like I can keep my mouth shut too. As soon as a wannabe steps in the screening room, I'm sure they can see me cringe in my seat.

Ewan ko ba, parang uso ata ang maging model ngayon. Dati, lahat gusto mag artista. Ngayon mag model naman. I don't even know who to blame. Wala pa namang sumisikat na model na walang K, so I don't even know who these people's poster boy/girl is.

I personally feel that these people should be hit with a huge chunk of reality earlier on. And I think their parents should be responsible for that.

I'm sure mga magulang ang dapat sisihin jan. It's like any other contest actually. Take American Idol/Philippine Idol. Doesn't this cross your mind everytime they show the bad auditions? Parang "ok ka lang?" Friends and family ang may sala jan. I'm sure, yung taong yan, minsan lang napakanta sa isang family reunion or school program, and instead of telling him or her the truth, praises galore ang mga kamag-anak. Syempre, this will go to the person's head. Feeling nya, wow, I rock. And feeling nya, may K sya. Sarap pagsasampalin ang mga ito!

You guys have no idea what I'm even talking about. See that guy I put up there? Gusto nya mag-model. This picture is an actual application to a modeling agency. Utang na loob! Sinayang lang nya ang oras ng photographer, lightsman, staff ng studio, at nasayang pa tuloy ang napaka-sosy na marble background! Sayang din sa photopaper! Nag-sayang din sya ng pera! Sana inipon na lang nya yung pera at nag pa-opera na lang sya diba? Sulit!

Haaaay naku. Actually, kawawa ang mga ito. Kasi mapapagod at mauubos lang ang pera nila sa kapupunta sa mga go-see, sa pag develop ng mga pics, at pagpapa kuha ng studio shots, eh wala namang nangyayari sa kanila.

Isa pa, hindi porke kayo ang pinaka-maganda at gwapo sa barkada nyo, ibig sabihi pwede na kayo mag-model or mag-artista! Eh ako nga, ilang beses na akong inalok na mag-model or mag-artista, ako pa umayaw. Ganyan dapat. Tignan nyo muna kung nilalapitan man lang kayo. Ng mga agent ha, hindi langaw.

Dapat talaga sa mga yan, sinasabihan ng totoo. I'm sure they'll cry like hell, but fuck it. They need the reality bite, so be it. Nakatulong pa ako sa sangkatauhan dahil hindi na lalabas ng bahay ang mga ganito.

I think shows like Pinoy Big Brother, Star Struck and the like are partly to blame. They made Rainier Castillo and Hero Angeles famous, and now people like them think, "hey, I can do that too." Kaya nga ba salot sa lipunan ang mga ganyang shows. It's a fuckin' waste of time, and I would rather watch Maury and Jerry Springer than watch a minute of those shows.

I'm sure all the screening committees of the TV and Fashion industry agree with me and feel the same way. But they're just too nice to say anything. Well that's what I'm here for, to speak the painful truth...


Ang mean ba? So what? They need that. And sana naman ma-gets na nila 'no. 'Di ba kayo nagtataka kung bakit masungit lagi ang mga staff sa go-see? Dahil sa inyo 'no! Nakaka-init kaya ng dugo yung mag screen ng mga mukhang katulong at trabahador. Ginamit nyo na nga yung damit ng amo nyo, nag side trip pa kayo sa pagbili ng suka sa kanto.

It is up to us industry people to teach these individuals a lesson. Kasi kung hindi, this will never stop. We'll be doing them a favor. Hindi na sila mapapahiya next time, makakatipid na sila sa pamasahe at gastos, at lalaki silang mabubuting mamamayan dahil alam na nila ang katutuhanan.

Kaya mga feeling model jan, kapag naka mga 30 na go-see na kayo, at ni isa walang tumawag, mag-isip isip na kayo. Baka naman it's time to rethink your career path.

Madami call centers jan. Ang SM laging naghahanap ng staff sa department store. Makakapag make-up pa kayo ng blue at pink. Mga restos jan laging naghahanap ng crew. Mga events group kelangan ng mga taga-buhat. Mga TV station laging kelangan ng bagong staff. Sa Post Office pwede din kayo. Sa Census, SSS, LTO at Malabanan, madaming opening jan. At madami ding bahay sa Manila na kelangang linisin.

Friday, September 01, 2006

PMAP (Pangit na mga Models at Atribidang Pandak)

Hmmm where do I start with them?

How about the fact that not one of them have any right to be in a PROFESSIONAL models association?

Lemme start with the "president", Rissa Samson. Now how in the world did a midget become the president of this association?! She's the smallest among the group. She has the weirdest excuse for dimples, the worst walk I've ever seen, and she's not even nice! I'm sparing her sister, Raya Mananquil, 'coz in fairness to Raya, may K naman ang ate natin. She has the height, the cheekbones, the walk. She's all model material. But Rissa?! Eeeek. I don't think so. Kung ganyan din ang mga modelo ngayon, eh di rumarampa na din ako sa Milan. And how about their brother, Robby "Apeman" Mananquil? I think if I'm not mistaken, he made his professional debut in the movie Planet of the Apes. Sure he has the body, but that's it. You guys ever heard of the term "hipon" to describe men with fab bodies but unexplainable faces? Well si Robby, he's not even a hipon to me. Lahat itatapon ko. And I even love shrimp! Ganyan sya ka pangit. Syempre, we can't forget na the reason why they got into the industry is because of their mom, Millet "Queen Amidala" Mananquil. Need I say more? I can just imagine how the conversation went:

"Ma, we want to be supermodels! Kaya lang Ma, you know, we're not really qualified. We're not even at least attractive. Lalo na ako Ma, buti pa si Raya, like, she looks like a model talaga. I'm like, unano eh. Weird pa ng dimples ko. I don't know how to make lakad pa. Para akong elephant mag walk eh. Si Robby, at least he's working out na. Maganda na katawan ni Robby, pero luwa na nga mata nya, he's so pangit pa. Doesn't he look like King Kong, Ma? Or Bakekang? 'Di naman nakukuha sa workout ang mukha eh. Why don't you bring me to Belo, Ma? Para at least I'm presentable 'di ba?"

"Anak, Dra. Belo's not a magician. You would need a mason and jackhammer to fix your face. Gamitin mo yung mga tools na ginamit sa paggawa ng mansion nating 'to. Idasal mo na lang yan, anak. Pero sige, I'll pull all my strings. Bukas na bukas supermodels na kayo. Ako bahala..."

Sus, kung nanay ko din yan, eh di sana model na din ako ng Bulgari. Ang powers nga naman.

Next is Valerie "who looks too much like Vic Sotto" delos Santos. She has one expression, and it's not even a nice one. The constipated look just isn't working on her. Her sexy, angry, seducing, sad and happy faces are all the same.

Bubbles "thunder thighs" Paraiso. Self explanatory.

Phoemela "Adik" Barranda. Isn't being a drug addict grounds for dismissal in a "professional" models association? Let's not forget the reason why she was kicked out of Extra Challenge. But yes, she's still in the "professional" models association. A board member even.

And why the hell are there foreigners in PMAP? Akala ko ba of the PHILIPPINES? Haaaaay naku. So tama nga ang mga sinasabi ng mga tao.

PMAP uses new recruits to attract new clients, but they still hog all the projects to themselves. Tsk, tsk tsk. Actually, I don't recall any all PMAP show where all the board members aren't there. Syempre complete ang magkakabarkada. Politics nga naman. Take for example a client needs 12 models for a jewelry show, and calls on PMAP to do the show. Those 12 slots will be filled up by the board members first. If say there are 2 who can't do the show, they're gonna open up those 2 slots, and the rest of the PMAP members will vie for those 2 remaining slots. Syempre, they find out about the go-sees way before the new members do.

Examples: The C2 campaign, both PMAP board members Robby Mananquil and Isabel Roces. Balita ko there's this instant noodles TV ad na puro PMAP girl board members din. And there's this BULGARI PR Shoot din na all PMAP board members din. Hay hindi talaga makatarungan!

Well, their time is up soon anyway. Very soon. Wrinkles, flab, cellulite, lung cancer, and diminishing brain cells are just catching up with them. I'm giving them 2 years. Soon all of them will have to resort to science to save their so-called beauty. Botox, mesotherapy, liposuction, and breast lifts will be the qualifications to join PMAP. Hey, baka pwede mag-apply si Ellen? If maging PMAP member sya, libre pa mga services for all PMAP members sa Ellen's! Eh di iisa na lang ang look ng PMAP! Halloween all year round! Panalo 'diba?

I have always thought about why THEY have a professional models association. Not any of them have won any recognition whatsoever, so what makes them the AUTHORITY in professionalising the industry? The people who SHOULD put up a LEGIT association are models who have reaped awards here and abroad, have the credentials to prove it, have worked with the who's who, and who knows what it is to be a profesionnal model globally, and not just having a powerful mama to back them up.

People like Charo Ronquillo, 2tay Maristela, Verns Buckley, Alex Aquino, Rocky Salumbides, Melanie Marquez, Anna Bayle and others should get together. These are the ones who have every right to put up an association, because they have proved themselves as models, not in the number of shows and endorsements they've done, but in the quest to reach the international standard.

And I have talked to other models such as Brad Murdoch, Dos Quong and Trishan Cuaso, and they have nothing nice to say about PMAP.

Even people from Summit have some nasty things to say about them.

Grabe girls, ang tatanda nyo na, ganyan pa kayo. Believe in the power of karma. You may be professional with your meeting the call times and other things that are expected of a model, but I would rather hire someone who could step down from her pedestal, than hire any one of you who can't even admit that your time is up. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Kaya yung mga bagong modelo jan, join na lang kayo ng agency, mapapaglaban pa kayo ng agency, at walang suwapangan sa project. Syempre nga naman, yung bossing nyo sa association, model din, so bakit nga naman nya i-shashare yung biyaya? Sa agency, client ang mamimili. Your agent/manager can't push anyone if the client doesn't want to. Kaya fair. You feel so special pa dahil pinili ka talaga, at hindi by default kasi hindi pwede yung isa sa mga bossing. Laos talaga!

To be fair, PMAP does have good goals. They have fines and cancellation fees when their models are late or do not show up. They demand that their models eat on time. Fitting and rehearsal days are charged as separate days. I appreciate that.

They even have out reach programs and meet and greets. But these events are just socializing events in the guise of worthy causes.

But an agency can implement these rates and rules as well right? So why would you need PMAP? Unless gusto mo ikaw ang pinakamaganda sa grupo, why not?

Buti pa si Bubbles, aminado na wala na syang career, kaya nag artista na lang.

Way to go, chubs.

Hi Rissa. Expect Ellen's call ok? Maganda yung x-deal package na i-ooffer nya.

Sunday, August 27, 2006


Now where the hell do I start with this guy? How in the world did a chinese guy, who buckles and almost drools everytime he talks, get in the biz?

I suppose he has some sort of talent, I mean everyone does right? But how come I still haven't seen it?

He calls himself an "eventologist", his cool way of saying "event organizer". How come "eventologist" sounds like someone who puts together animal shows? Like circuses and carnival acts. Is he also a lion tamer by day? Maybe that's his secret talent.

I just don't get why he's up there. I mean sure, he hooked up with one of the The Philippine Daily Inquirer's big bosses. Got himself a pad in wackwack, courtesy of his "boss". He does have a regular column which he fondly calles YAPARAZZI. (for someone who the public sees as creative and witty, can't he think of something better? Like YAPUNZEL, or YAPPING AWAY, or even BRIDGING THE YAP, or something.) So screwing the boss does get you places.

How can someone with no fashion sense at all be called a fashion plate? All I know is that bling, blonde hair, and fur, on an asian guy, will never make any sense. Unless you're a pimp doubling as a bad rahash of some asian boyband. And he's the creative director of PDI's Super? I mean come on! He doesn't even wear any of the stuff in the papers 'coz they're just way too normal for him. How about a white trench coat, with an irritatingly cute Hello Kitty doll stuck to his chest? I used to like Hello Kitty, but now I prefer Felix. And I think Kitty could do better. If Hello Kitty could talk, I'm sure he wouldn't have let Tim put him on his chest. I'm sure it was the most humiliating experience of Hello Kitty's life.

And now he has a show on MTV called BLING. And that poster aaargh! With a crown?! What the fuck do we care about Tim Yap interviewing the socialites and partyphiles of Manila?!

Shows like this promote such a negative principle. They have created this image that if you don't get interviewed by Tim, or your business was never featured in these shows, you just suck. And that's not how it's supposed to be. Not just because you have a show it means you know everything. Not just because you know the big people means you're big yourself. Not just because you're in the papers it means you're a hotshot. It just means there are lots of people out there, stupid enough to actually think that you're someone. And the papers, TV and media are taking advantage of this. Why the fuck would I want a Tim Yap wallpaper for my cellphone? I don't even know a single soul who has a Tim Yap wallpaper. (which only means I hang out with the right people.) Maybe that's what they meant with phone viruses.

And don't get me started on Embassy, which is co-owned by Yak by the way. P600 just to set foot in that hell, where drugs, booze and bad taste come together?! It is not cool to be one of those people. People who go to Embassy are actually the ones to blame for Tim Yap's success. He rakes in thousands of bucks, giving him more money to buy bad taste, laughs his way to the bank everyday, and you guys are out P600 a night, and you didn't even get a single bottle of beer. And an additional P500 to breathe the air of the VIP rooms? I'd rather suck in the stench of the MRT bathrooms.

I have actually talked to some people saying they want to go to Embassy just to see Tim Yap in person. Wow, now that's fucked up. I'd rather see Barney and The Teletubbies do a dance number than see him. Are you people on drugs or something? Oh I forgot, you hang out at Embassy, so yeah, you guys ARE drugged.

I am happy though for the gayness that he's brought into the culture. Never before has a gay guy been in the mainstream as he is. But I'm guessing most homos hate him as well. I think he's a disgrace to the gay community. I have a lot of gay friends, so I know what it is to be gay. But when Tim Yap came about, I was like, "Now THAT'S gay!"

I am sparing Tim's close friends, Tessa Prieto and Celine Lopez. I have met both ladies and they are nice as hell. Tessa, no matter how weird her outfits are, carries those outfits like no one else can. And she candidly admits that she makes her own accessories and buys the materials at Quiapo. Now isn't that nice to hear? No pretentiousness there. That made me like her even more. Celine is also a nice girl. She's very polite, very friendly and would at least smile when you look at her. Sure it might be fake, but at least she's faking it. I'd appreciate that more, not like the brat Tim is.

I'm ending this Tim bashing only because talking about him gives me such a headache, and my stomach churns, and I know that he likes being talked about.

I ain't giving him that satisfaction.


I have thought about putting up this blog for months now. I don't even know what stopped me. Probably because when you're as perfect as I am, you won't even waste an iota of your time for people who aren't even a fourth as perfect as you are.

But I realized that these people (the imperfectionists that they are) need to be brought down from their pedestals and a severe beating follows afterwards.

Manila is crawling and overflowing with pretentious people. That's why this blog will run for centuries, way after I'm long gone, and there will still be pretentious folk. When the time comes when I'm too old to be blogging (but still perfect mind you), I may conduct a search for my successor.

It won't be easy, but I'm sure I'll find someone who will fit my shoes perfectly.

Until then, let the bashing begin.