COPYCAT

Was at the mall today, and I saw this new local magazine at National Bookstore. It looked awfully familiar, thought my fave mag which folded 2 years ago is back. Not!

It's the new Men's Lifestyle mag called GARAGE, with Jake Cuenca on the cover. Obvious bang local kasi local ang cover?

I have been a fan of Cargo since it came out, and was able to collect every issue that came out. And I'm a girl sheesh! It featured everything a guy likes, from clothes, cars, grooming, gadgets, electronics, fitness, sports, and sex. Too bad after 2 years, the magazine folded, and I've always wished it would resurrect. Cargo is under Conde Nast by the way, the same publushers of Lucky, Vogue and GQ.

And now we have this copycat from Manila Bulletin. I mean fine, I'm glad MB is KIND OF upping their magazines, out with the old (and I mean PANORAMA) and on with the new (Sense & Style and Sugar Sugar), but please please lang naman. Wala ba kayong originality?

First of all, the size of Sugar Sugar is so Teen Vogue (actually, Seventeen ang unang culprit), and Garage is sooo Cargo.I mean fine, you had to copy an obsure magazine which was never sold in Manila so that you guys won't get caught. But how about people who do know? Like me?

People like me is your mag's market, and you expect me to check out your cheapo rip-off? No thanks.

I'm sorry, but we are in a third world country, and there's not enough stuff to feature in a magazine like yours.

If Cargo didn't make it, what chance does your magazine have?

PHONEY GONZAGA

Someone please explain to me, why this creature is so famous?

She's everywhere! She has endorsements, TV shows, concerts and albums! WTF?!

She's a bad host. Never enjoyed her in that newscrap Wazzup, Wazzup. That show sucked big time. Walang commercial value, and bobo na nga ang kabataan ngayon, lalo nyo pang pinapabobo dahil sa mga show na 'yan!

She's ugly. Iisa lang ang angle ng mukha, and kaya sya pinangalang Toni kasi mukha syang lalake!

She can't sing! Leche, have you heard her cover of Randy Crawford's "One Hello"? Fuck, kakairita ah! Para syang may sipon, na pinasakan ng socks sa bibig nung recording! It was so bad, I swear, she sounded like a bad Jessa Zaragoza. Someone should giver her vocal lessons. I hate her style! Parang ilong nya ang nagka album.

Diba galing lang sya from that Sprite TV ad with Piolo? Yun na yun? Yun na ang basis ng GMA7 para gawing artista 'tong drag queen na 'to?

Sobra ako irita sa kanya with this music video where she's playing an artista. Yaaak kadiri talaga. Feeling maganda. Laki kaya ng nguso nya. Eeeeewww. And iisa lang outfit nya sa video. Ka-cheapan ah. Can't you spring for new outfits honey? Cute pa naman the guy in the music video. Nasayang lang kay Toni.

And she's plastic ha. A friend of mine brought me to this presscon she had for this movie. Had to delete from my memory that day. My friend had to interview her, so when she sat down with us, my friend had to introduce us. After the introduction, I had to get something from my wallet. She said, "How nice naman your wallet." I was like "duh?"

First of all, I hate pa-cute talk from anyone. Secondly, my wallet is cute? It was a simple, rectangular, leather, tan colored, bill fold wallet I bought from HK. Do people even notice wallets? Sure if they're cute, or maybe if they had flashing lights or something. That's how I knew she was plastic. It was like saying, "Ang galing naman, you're wearing shoes!"

Haaay, I give her a few more years, and she's outta here. People are gonna realize that's she has nothing to offer. And then she'll try to go sexy. Maybe the men will take notice. But soon after that, they'll realize the name Toni doesn't really go with someone sexy, and she'll be shot down again. Her only chance to be popular again if she gets knocked up by someone like Erik Santos, Raymond Gutierrez or Boy Abunda. Then she'll try to be all sosyal and hang out with the likes of Ruffa, Gretchen and Kris, and the three girls will stay away from her because she pronounces it "HER-MEES" instead of "ER-MEZ".

And that'll be the end of her. Hopefully.