NO SUCH THING

My friends have been asking me why I haven't bashed Kris Aquino in my blog yet.

I told them I will, I just didn't have the time yet. Besides, I have better things to do.

Now that I found some time to do some severe tongue lashing, let's get it on.

I HATE KRIS AQUINO. As in. Yung tipong pag makasalubong ko sya sa labas, baka bigla ko na lang sya sampalin, or buhusan ng asido. Ganyan ko sya ka-hate.

Does she even have any good qualities? She's a bad host, a bad daughter, a bad actress, a disgrace to the country and her clan, a home wrecker, a terrible singer, a fashion victim (I have Ms. Kate Torralba to thank for that), she's not even funny, and she's not even pretty!

And how dare her to pull an Oprah Winfrey with her "K" magazine. Feeling mo no! As if everyone wants to know everything about her. Why buy the magazine when all you gotta do is turn on the TV?! She loves the attention, and everything is on TV for everyone to see.

I read this interview with John Lapuz, and he says he never bought a single laptop. All his laptops were hand me downs from Kris. Minsan daw, 1 month pa lang nagsawa na si Kris sa laptop nya, and nagpalit agad. Alam na natin ngayon kung bakit close si John kay Kris. I'm sure yan lang ang reason bakit madaming friends si Kris. I can't even imagine being friends with her. Baka mapatay ko lang sya.

I also heard that Korina Sanchez hates Kris too, and their show before, Kris and Korina, was all a big joke. I knew something was up. Korina wouldn't click with someone like Kris.

Kaya nga siguro nagka ganyan ang anak nyang si Joswa eh. Sira-ulo kasi ang nanay.

All those stories you've heard about her are true. That story about a mom and her pamangkins who went backstage to have a picture with her? How bratty and diva-ish she gets during shoots? How she's late for her tapings and never apologizes? Yes folks, she is a bitch. Sobrang sama ng ugali, na even Tita Cory cringes. And that's even understating it. You gotta find a whole new word for her breed.

Ever wonder why her cheeks are so red, na para na syang doll with a red circle on each cheek? Tanong nyo si Bambii Fuentes. Yan daw ang gusto ni Donya Kris, na magmukha syang manika. Eh bakit voodoo doll ang kinalabasan?

And just look at these endorsements: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kris_Aquino#Commercial_endorsements

Hindi ba dapat ang endorser yung hinahangaan at tinitingala? Someone you wanna be? Yung idol mo?

As if gumagamit sya ng San San, Whitekat, Kissa, Xando, Greenex, at Kiwi. I'm sure nung inalok sa kanya ang products na 'to, isang malakas na "Ano iyon?" ang tanong nya. And don't you just hated that San Miguel ad of hers with Derek Ramsay? The one where she's driving a sports car? Yaaaaak! Para namang na-disguise sya mabuti no. Eh bibig pa lang na parang na-stroke alam mo nang sya eh. And yung with Manny naman. Kris Aquino drinking Pale Pilsen? Perish the thought!

And now she has 2 inspirational albums out, and from what I heard, nag platinum daw yung unang volume?! Pu#$%*&na! Ang hirap na kaya magka platinum award nowadays! Not even Gary, Regine or Martin have had platinum albums in the recent past. Binaba na nga yung album count ng mga awards kasi mahirap ng ma-achieve. Anong kahibangan ito?

I even know of people who boycott all the products she endorses! Buti na lang at maka-Red Ribbon ako at hindi Goldilocks.

Nakakaawa actually si James Yap. I mean come on, sure he's not hot, but he's a baller, and to most women, that's hot enough. I'm sure madaming babae yan na kinakalantaran no. And I actually believe that woman who allegedly had sexual relations with him.

Paano ba naman, to be locked up in a house with Kris? To endure her irritating, whining, high pitched pathetic excuse for a voice? Papatuyuin ko na lang ang mga mata ko with a hair dryer. I'm sure under si James kay Kris no. Sa english pa lang, talo na si James eh. I don't think he'd get into any argument with her. "Yes" lang lagi ang sagot nya.

There must be a reason why James even married her in the first place. Is it the money? Grammar lessons? Maybe she's a fireball in bed. Maybe Kris's caterwauling actually gets him off.

And why is she still here? Why does she still continue to get these endorsements? Why do her CDs and magazine sell? Why does she still have shows? Because there is no such thing as bad press, and she knows this. She can manipulate the public in believing anything she says. You would think having STD would be the end of her, but no. It even upped her price.

She's such a piece of work, isn't she?

We live in such a twisted society. Where Ruffas, Gretchens, Kriss, Tims and Robbys reign supreme. Where an easy way out for most youngsters is modeling and joining PBB. Where it's cool to be seen in Embassy, and it's fashionable to wear Havaiannas. Where malls open the very next day after it gets bombed. Where it's cool to have braces and to be seen in society pages. Where complaining about racism is considered OA. Where people worship labels and designers. Where cars and cellphones dictate your place in society. That's why I don't and will never have kids here in Manila. I might have them here, but never raise them here.

I miss the old days when we appreciated the simpler things in life. Now the simpler things in life are clouded by things the media makes us believe we need. And we take the bait. Nagpapakagago naman ang mga tao. Now that's good marketing.

Try stripping yourself off of these things, you'll realize you didn't need them in the first place.