Monday, April 30, 2007

BEGGING 101 NI CHUVANESS

I take it back.

Chuvaness isn't as nice as I thought she was. I'm so shocked with her.

This is something I have to take issue with, and sorry Chuvaness, I have to tell you off with this one.

In her recent post called Begging 101, (which she has taken down by the way) she talks about tips on effective begging, like the beggars actually read blogs. Duh.

The following is her actual post.

Let's break it down:

1) If I give one of you, do not call the rest of the neighborhood and come running to my car, because it will freak me out and I do not have enough money to give all of you. I am not Santa Claus. The scariest thing. One Christmas I was giving away free T-shirts from my dead stock and the kids ran and rocked the van from side to side. I really thought I would die.

Don't you even get it why they act this way? Dahil wala silang makain, at minsan lang mangyari sa kanila yun. They want to share it with the rest because they're all in the same boat. Palibhasa, di mo pa naranasan maghirap, kaya ka ganyan. You have no idea what these people go through, that's why the slightest image of money and food will make them come running.

2) Please do not leave "memories" like handprints, lip prints, saliva on my window.

Kakaloka ka. You expect them to have etiquette and social graces? Bangag ka ate. Di nga nakapag-aral eh, may nalalaman ka pang mga ganyan.

3) Can someone please publish a standardized rate for sampaguita? I'm confused. Sometimes if I give ten pesos, I get one crumby garland. And sometimes if I give ten pesos I get a whole bunch. WTF?

Seryoso ka? I've never complained about what they're selling. I mean I kid about it with them, and they explain, but that's it. Mabuti nga na nagbebenta sila at hindi nagnanakaw. Kung madami kang reklamo, wag mo na lang kunin yung sampaguita, donate mo na lang.

4) Uhm, if you could say thank you, that would be nice.

Sa sobrang gutom at excited ng mga yan, nakakalimutan na nilang mag THANK YOU. Why don't you teach them then? That's what I do, especially the little ones. Before they run off, I say to them, "Uy bata, mag Thank You ka ha?" And they do, and I remind them na dapat ganun lagi. Eh di tapos. Naturuan mo pa sila ng mabuting asal.

5) If you start with a Chrismas carol, please finish the song and do not run away as soon as I give you something.

Eh di patapusin mo muna sa kanta bago ka mag-abot. Walang courtesy yang mga yan, wala ngang napag-aralan eh, kaya kelangan ikaw mag adjust at gumawa ng diskarte ate, para matuto sila.

6) Please do not use the following lines as I have heard it so many times:
a) "Makabenta po lamang."
b) "Pambili po ng baon."
c) "Birthday ko po ngayon." (Kid, it's been your birthday four times this year.)
d) "Makauwi po lamang." (This is a complete lie, because as soon as you buy the whole bunch, the kid goes running to the Mama San for more.)

7) I do go for the line, "Pambili lang po ng pagkain." Very Angela's Ashes.

How could you even call these "lines"? Pucha, you actually think they're making it up? Fine, I can agree with c, but the others might actually be true you know. Grabe ka naman, alam mo, kung talagang gusto mo magbigay, no questions asked yan. Kahit na niloloko ka o hindi, ibigay mo kung talagang ibibigay mo. Wag ng madaming tanong. Sana hindi ka na lang nagbigay. Dami mong arte! Parang P1,000 yung binigay mo diba?

8) Begging does not become you if you have already pubic hair and are stronger than an ox.

Again, walang alam ibang gawin yang mga yan. Walang pinag-aralan, so ni mag secretary or mag delivery boy, eh hindi alam. And do you even have any idea how hard it is to find work out there? I'm sure they've tried to find work, pero wala lang talagang willing mag-hire sa kanila.

9) If I give you a biscuit, candy, T-shirt and there is a long line, please do not ask one for your "kapatid" because I'm not sure if you really have a kapatid and I cannot see that.

Next time na mamimigay ka, make sure you have lots of extras, or better yet, papilahin mo sila para maayos for you. Hanapin mo yung "kapatid" nya kung gusto mo. Hingin mo na din birth certificate nila. Didn't you ever try to make up some lame excuse to get more when you were a kid?

10) Please do not kill each other, and most important, when the light turns green, do NOT run after my car because you could die!!

Di ako sure kung concern ito for the kids, or concern for your car.

P.S. I don't give money to street children sniffing a bag of glue, but I do feel bad for them because I used to think they were mere drug addicts. But I found out glue is something that supposedly kills appetite. They sniff it in lieu of food. That really sucks.

Shouldn't knowing this open your eyes a bit?

Sa susunod, wag ka ng magpopost ng mga ganyan, kasi nakikita yung pagka matapobre mo.

You should go to some outreach or immersion program para maintindihan mo ng mas mabuti. You just rant about their behavior, but all it actually is, is their needs. You haven't seen their conditions first hand, kaya ka ganyan eh.

Eh kung may nagpark na limo sa harap ng SFAS at namimigay ng mga LV, di ka ba tatakbo at makikipag unahan?

That's just the same thing. Don't judge them, because they have nothing else better to do. Their conditions dictate their actions, so wag ka ng mag complain kasi wala silang choice.

If you seriously don't mind giving to beggars, then don't say anything. It's obvious that you do mind, otherwise you wouldn't have had that post. Mas mahaba pa yung pag rant mo kaysa sa pag sabi mo ng "you don't mind giving to beggars".

And yung mga mag cocomment diyan, bring it on. Mag kampihan na kayo as I am set for a good tongue lashing. Let the others see how screwed up you guys are.

And please, kahit mag disclaimer ka pa, matapobre comment talaga ang ginawa mo no. "Only a commentary on something we see everyday in Manila."? Kahabang commentary naman nyan. Sana hindi ka na nag disclaimer kasi mas nahalata ka pa.

21 comments:

CVS said...

sana don't take things so seriously.
ang lakas mo rin mag-lait, pero natatawa lang ako. and i never judged you and said you're not nice.
ako, hindi nang-lait. it was a commentary. I never said they were disgusting. it was supposed to be humorous, but you didn't see that. they're a part of life you see everyday, but yes, I wrote something that's not PC.
if I am matapobre, you are matayaman. you immediately think rich people are matapobre and don't give to charity.
I don't have time to defend myself. opinion mo yan.
and my blog is about anything under the sun. your blog is called bashing 101. it's about dissing. so who is not nice here.
anyway noted, bashing 101.
i have locked the offending post.
in the future, just avoid my blog as I will avoid yours.

Anonymous said...

True true. Na-shock din ako when I read that post. Could she have been trying to be humorous?

miss b said...

oh god.. chuvaness and bashing are both funny blogs.

I don't know kung you read it the wrong way - I saw the funny side of chuva's entry and I can also see your points - I don't know what the issue is, surely you're not all that nice too bitching about everything else.. but I find you funny and it's nice to read your opinions.

kaso parang lumalabas na super bitchy ka na sinisiraan mo everyone else, what does that make you?

Surely di ka naman din santo. At least yung iba, matapang na ilantad yung sarili and face nila when they're posting their blogs di ba - eh ikaw, hiding pa.

I'm still a fan of your bashings so maybe sometimes, I hope you see the humor from other people's opinion :)
-Miss B

Kai said...

you guys are ridiculous.

www.lowsahighsandalibis.bravejournal.com

the angelic new soozyhopper said...

well, to each his/her own. pero i agree with bashing on a lot of oints even if chuvaness said she was just being humorous. pareho lang tayong TAO sa mundong ito, chuvaness. it doesn't help that you do commentaries like that. Dapat nga walang mayaman, walang mahirap eh. Kaso lang, the world is not fair. And for someone like you who must be a thinking person you should take responsibility. You do score a big one by shutting that particular post!

Anonymous said...

if you really cared, you'd be bashing the people that really matter -- like GMA, Raul Gonzales, or even Bush et al.

At isa pa, duwag ka, because you don't really reveal who you are. Scared people like you don't have the right to bash and mention names. You're just a bitter person. Hmmm... siguro hiwalay ang parents mo, or niloko ng dad mo ang mom mo... ( I am correct no?)

Oh, I'm Christina Lopez-Fargas

Anonymous said...

Humorous? Ang kapal din naman ng mukha mo, CVS, at naisipan mong gawing source ng humor ang mahihirap.

Next time nga, pagisipan mo muna kung ano ang sasabihin mo bago ka mag-comment. Stop holding yourself in such high regard just because you're a social fixture--and have more money than the beggars who you ridicule in that moronic post.

Anonymous said...

my gaz, and all this time i thought she was genuinely nice..iskolar ng bayan pa naman ang lola..but i still enjoy reading her blog for all its campiness..

Anonymous said...

hay nako, Bashing101, buti na lang not everyone's as stupid as you.

kim said...

Yung mga iba diya pwede ba wag maglinislinisan. Alam ba ninyo na pamilya Zamora si chuvaness? ang lakas niya mag louis vuitton this louis vuitton that kase buena de pamilya kuno ang pinanggalingan. Eh kanino ba galing yung kuwarta ng ama niya? Crony kaya sila ng Marcos. Kayo nalang ang bahala manghusga.

Nakakahiya!

Dawn Selya said...

Is this true? Lowest of the low!!! How could beggars be a souce of amusement for rich people? Have we lost our sense of deceny? tsk tsk

jane tan - uy said...

chuvaness had an old blog she deleted. there was this post about a houseguest from america whom she vilified and derided for eating her snack food (which she offered, of course.) why, chuvaness is plastic and a hypocrite. she pretends to be nice and smiles but she's kupal.

and yes, matapobre yan. she wouldn't know how it feels to be poor or hungry because of all her family's corrupt millions. which you can call "proceeds of crime = plunder"

her friends would defend her, but they don't realize the karma they are getting by doing so because it is reprehensible laughing at the expense of the hungry poor.

Anonymous said...

blogging is for losers

Anonymous said...

Bashing 101, what is SFAS?


Tricia

Anonymous said...

Ngayon ko lang nabasa to and I say, Im disappointed with Chuvaness. I read her blog everyday.

Kakalungkot lang.

It will never be the same again.

Anonymous said...

if chuvaness really has lots of money, maybe she can do something abt her face? d bagay sa "image" she's pulling. and has nobody ever taught her how to smile? (and wtf was she thinking joking about beggars??) il put her in the same league as that epperson girl. my gas whats w the mabuhay at every start of her post? can someone tell her its not cute at all!

Anonymous said...

lumabas na rin ang tunay nakulay ng babaing yan. all along i knew chuvaness was a big fake! she looks contrived and trying to project an image of luxury and leisure. pwede ba tigilan ako. my message to chuvaness:
pls. lang wag mo akong i pollute ng kaplastikan mo. nakakasuka. kung yung ibang tao nauuto mo, hindi lahat day mauuto mo. and wag mong idikta sa pilipino kung ano ang tamang asal dahil DAY WALA KA SA POSISYON. YOU HAVE NOT EARN THE RIGHT TO SAY THINGS. YOU'RE A NOBODY! WHAT'S YOUR CLAIM TO FAME? pls lang! nakakasuka!

Anonymous said...

why? isnt it true that beggars are altogether annoying? i agree with chuvaness. beggars have been dependent on people in the hopes of receiving free stuff from them. that is not productive! if someone has to bash someone, maybe those really corrupt government officials who do not do anything but steal the people's money. that's why there are still beggars, because the government does not do anything, their parents (in the case of little children) are too lazy to find jobs and people still give them alms. nakakahiya talaga tayo.

Anonymous said...

ooh. and there are still beggars because of people like chuvaness who swim in louis vuittons

arcywafu said...

oww.. i never tot na may puso kang gnyan ah? ang alam ko lang ee super lait ka ee haha!

Anonymous said...

Could you change the font colors?