ALL FINGERS

The ball is dropping, and I hate it.

I hate firecrackers, I swear. Fireworks I'm cool with. But firecrackers? I think they're stupid.

It's a stupid tradition, and I only have the Chinese to blame. Thanks to them, Pinoys believe in that casting away evil spirits mumbo jumbo.

Ang ingay kaya. My pets are scared to death. I'm afraid that one of my dogs might have a heart attack.

And my Dad had to get that sinturon ni Hudas kind. I hated that since I was a kid. I hated firecrackers since I was an infant.

Isn't it literally your money going up in flames? Buti kung mura 'diba? Ang mahal na nga, ang ingay pa. And it's bad quality pa. I remember my cousin's arm caught fire when a 'labentador' exploded in front of him. And to top it all off, it wouldn't be nice to start the new year without all your fingers and toes. Always remember that.

I miss those TV ads they air from previous years where they show the New Year mishaps. That was very effective. It scared the bejesus out of everyone. Including the adults.

Maybe this will jog everyone's memory. Not for the weak of heart. http://www.thechumslick.com/media/blogs/thechumslick/FirecrackerInjury.jpg

Thank you everyone for making 2007 such a great to bash!

Special thanks goes out to Ruffa Gutierrez, Gretchen Barretto, Tim Yap, Kris Aquino, PMAP, Ellen's Skin Care, 'coz if not for them, the year would've been so boring, and I wouldn't have anything to write about.

So keep it up, and here's to more of your cheap and unsavory career moves!

Thanks to my readers whoever you guys are. Let me know who you wanna be bashed ok? Let's gang up on these lowlives. And I promise to update my blog more often for you guys.

Happy New Year everyone! And may we all not be as poor as a rat this coming year.

THE C STRING?

Of all the creepy things to come out in the market, this I think takes the cake.

I know all women think this is a god send, but come on. It's like one sneeze away from going commando. Wouldn't using a napkin be so much cheaper?

And I think it'd be more comfortable too. This I think feels like you got a hanger wrapped around your garden.

I never thought having the panty lines bothered women this much. I never minded the pantylines. I just carefully choose the texture and thickness of the fabric, of both the thongs and the skirt or pants.

And what is up with the tail like end of the C string? It's like having a bad hair day, only it's stuck between your cheeks, and a pinch can't even fix it.

EEEEEEEWWW!

Found this on YouTube. And frankly, I wish I hadn't.

Yaaaaaaak! Ito na ang ultimate definition ng feeling cute! Kadiri! Pa-kyut! Pakyut! Pakyu!

Kung sino ka man, parang awa mo na! Lubayan mo na kami please!

Actually, madami pa syang ibang videos. Pero di ko kakayaning makakakita ng isa pa. Baka bangungutin ako sa gabi.

Kakasuka.

PREVIEW NOVEMBER 2007 ISSUE

I know Preview always comes out with fantastic covers.

This is their November 2007 cover. Maganda naman. I'm not crazy about it. It's OK. Paki-takpan lang ang mukha ng asa cover.

Although gets ko na din kung bakit ganito ang cover. Halloween issue nga pala.

Sa tinagal-tagal nya sa showbiz, iisa pa din ang mukha nya. Proof alone na she's a bad actress.

Di ko maintindihan kung problemado sya dito or what.

NO SUCH THING

My friends have been asking me why I haven't bashed Kris Aquino in my blog yet.

I told them I will, I just didn't have the time yet. Besides, I have better things to do.

Now that I found some time to do some severe tongue lashing, let's get it on.

I HATE KRIS AQUINO. As in. Yung tipong pag makasalubong ko sya sa labas, baka bigla ko na lang sya sampalin, or buhusan ng asido. Ganyan ko sya ka-hate.

Does she even have any good qualities? She's a bad host, a bad daughter, a bad actress, a disgrace to the country and her clan, a home wrecker, a terrible singer, a fashion victim (I have Ms. Kate Torralba to thank for that), she's not even funny, and she's not even pretty!

And how dare her to pull an Oprah Winfrey with her "K" magazine. Feeling mo no! As if everyone wants to know everything about her. Why buy the magazine when all you gotta do is turn on the TV?! She loves the attention, and everything is on TV for everyone to see.

I read this interview with John Lapuz, and he says he never bought a single laptop. All his laptops were hand me downs from Kris. Minsan daw, 1 month pa lang nagsawa na si Kris sa laptop nya, and nagpalit agad. Alam na natin ngayon kung bakit close si John kay Kris. I'm sure yan lang ang reason bakit madaming friends si Kris. I can't even imagine being friends with her. Baka mapatay ko lang sya.

I also heard that Korina Sanchez hates Kris too, and their show before, Kris and Korina, was all a big joke. I knew something was up. Korina wouldn't click with someone like Kris.

Kaya nga siguro nagka ganyan ang anak nyang si Joswa eh. Sira-ulo kasi ang nanay.

All those stories you've heard about her are true. That story about a mom and her pamangkins who went backstage to have a picture with her? How bratty and diva-ish she gets during shoots? How she's late for her tapings and never apologizes? Yes folks, she is a bitch. Sobrang sama ng ugali, na even Tita Cory cringes. And that's even understating it. You gotta find a whole new word for her breed.

Ever wonder why her cheeks are so red, na para na syang doll with a red circle on each cheek? Tanong nyo si Bambii Fuentes. Yan daw ang gusto ni Donya Kris, na magmukha syang manika. Eh bakit voodoo doll ang kinalabasan?

And just look at these endorsements: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kris_Aquino#Commercial_endorsements

Hindi ba dapat ang endorser yung hinahangaan at tinitingala? Someone you wanna be? Yung idol mo?

As if gumagamit sya ng San San, Whitekat, Kissa, Xando, Greenex, at Kiwi. I'm sure nung inalok sa kanya ang products na 'to, isang malakas na "Ano iyon?" ang tanong nya. And don't you just hated that San Miguel ad of hers with Derek Ramsay? The one where she's driving a sports car? Yaaaaak! Para namang na-disguise sya mabuti no. Eh bibig pa lang na parang na-stroke alam mo nang sya eh. And yung with Manny naman. Kris Aquino drinking Pale Pilsen? Perish the thought!

And now she has 2 inspirational albums out, and from what I heard, nag platinum daw yung unang volume?! Pu#$%*&na! Ang hirap na kaya magka platinum award nowadays! Not even Gary, Regine or Martin have had platinum albums in the recent past. Binaba na nga yung album count ng mga awards kasi mahirap ng ma-achieve. Anong kahibangan ito?

I even know of people who boycott all the products she endorses! Buti na lang at maka-Red Ribbon ako at hindi Goldilocks.

Nakakaawa actually si James Yap. I mean come on, sure he's not hot, but he's a baller, and to most women, that's hot enough. I'm sure madaming babae yan na kinakalantaran no. And I actually believe that woman who allegedly had sexual relations with him.

Paano ba naman, to be locked up in a house with Kris? To endure her irritating, whining, high pitched pathetic excuse for a voice? Papatuyuin ko na lang ang mga mata ko with a hair dryer. I'm sure under si James kay Kris no. Sa english pa lang, talo na si James eh. I don't think he'd get into any argument with her. "Yes" lang lagi ang sagot nya.

There must be a reason why James even married her in the first place. Is it the money? Grammar lessons? Maybe she's a fireball in bed. Maybe Kris's caterwauling actually gets him off.

And why is she still here? Why does she still continue to get these endorsements? Why do her CDs and magazine sell? Why does she still have shows? Because there is no such thing as bad press, and she knows this. She can manipulate the public in believing anything she says. You would think having STD would be the end of her, but no. It even upped her price.

She's such a piece of work, isn't she?

We live in such a twisted society. Where Ruffas, Gretchens, Kriss, Tims and Robbys reign supreme. Where an easy way out for most youngsters is modeling and joining PBB. Where it's cool to be seen in Embassy, and it's fashionable to wear Havaiannas. Where malls open the very next day after it gets bombed. Where it's cool to have braces and to be seen in society pages. Where complaining about racism is considered OA. Where people worship labels and designers. Where cars and cellphones dictate your place in society. That's why I don't and will never have kids here in Manila. I might have them here, but never raise them here.

I miss the old days when we appreciated the simpler things in life. Now the simpler things in life are clouded by things the media makes us believe we need. And we take the bait. Nagpapakagago naman ang mga tao. Now that's good marketing.

Try stripping yourself off of these things, you'll realize you didn't need them in the first place.

NAKAKAHIYA!

Nakakahiya ka Christian ha.

Sana man lang nag rehearse ka muna no.

Akala mo siguro may teleprompter sa boxing ring.

Another classic case of a performer being too over confident.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES BROUHAHA

I have been keeping mum about this whole issue.

Heck, I even kept zip about the whole issue with Ms. Piggy Fernandez. She got what she deserved so there.

I gotta admit, I am affected by it. Aside from having family and friends in the medical field, it also hit me by simply being Pinoy.

And the comment wasn't even about color or language or corruption, it was about our abilities. The show undermined the whole country's medical abilities, while the US truly knows that a great big chunk of their medical community consists of Asians, particularly Filipinos. Kaya nga nag-aalisan ang mga nurses and doctors natin eh, kasi mas appreciated and compensated sila sa US.

I have been keeping tabs on some blogs we are all familiar with, on what they would say about the whole issue, and what their readers say as well.

Magsama-sama sila. Puro kayo mga bulag na nakatira sa kanya kanyang mundo.

A blogger even said that we should be happy that the show even knows that the Philippines exists. Napaka-liit naman ng tingin mo sa Pinas kapatid.

And sure it's true that we all are guilty of making jokes about other races, but that one was on prime time tv, and a huge show at that. Sure we also use racist jokes in our shows, but that's just shown here in the PI. Not around the world for everyone to hear.

I am leaving Teri Hatcher out of this of course. 'Coz she was just reading her script.

The Philippines is known around the world for so many things, and we deserve that recognition.

Way back in 1988, Cameron Mackintosh and his crew specifically wanted a Manila stop for the auditions of Miss Saigon, because they have heard wonderful things about Manila's musicians. Since casting Pinoys in the production, which made up about 70% of the whole cast, most theater producers make it a point to hold Manila auditions. Lea Salonga actually put us BACK on the map again.

Film outfits, namely Warner Bros., Paramount, Walt Disney, and Pixar, have numerous Pinoys working for them. Did you know that a Pinoy was also one of the chief animation artists for The Matrix?

Our films, directors, screenwriters and local actresses have been getting international awards every now and then.

Brad Pitt even applauded Ricky Lo during an interview, saying he was the most professional reporter he has ever met. Because Ricky asked questions only about what he was there for, about Brad's movie. He didn't even ask one question about Angelina or Jennifer.

Rafe Totengco, Monique Lhuiller and Josie Natori are all Pinoys who have made it big in the US. Throw in Bea Valdez and Amina Aranaz, whose creations are featured in magazines and shows.

The jeep is even an icon. Our mangoes are the best, and our furniture is everywhere in the world. Even Brad Pitt owns pinoy furniture! Ever been to one of those furniture fairs where all the stuff is for export and everything is Pinoy made? You will be floored when you see them. Their products have been featured and used in Martha Stewart Living, Domino, movies and TV shows! I actually had goosebumps when I was there at the trade fair.

And we know very well that Imelda Marcos too, in her own little way, made us popular. I mean she's in the Oxford Dictionary for crying out loud! "Everybody has a little Imelda in them" posters are also all over the US.

And the following is a partial list of pure and part Filipinos, who are all proud of their Filipino heritage:

Rob Schneider, Tia Carrere, Lou-Diamond Philipps, Ernie Reyes Jr., Phoebe Cates, Chili (TLC), Foxy Brown (rapper), Anna Bayle (model), Sharon Leal (Dreamgirls), Alec Mapa (Friends and Desperate Housewives), Vanessa Minillo (MTV TRL), Jenn Cuneta (singer, "Come Rain Come Shine"), Victoria Principal (actress), Victoria Recaño (The Insider), Anna de Tagle (Hannah Montana), Tamlyn Tomita (Joy Luck Club), Billy Crawford, Jocelyn Enriquez, Vanessa Hudgens (HS Musical), Enrique Iglesias, Nicole Scherzinger (Pussycat Dolls), Mutya Buena (Sugababes), Allan Pineda (Black Eyed Peas), Cheryl Burke (Dancing With The Stars), Chad Hugo (Neptunes), Cassie (singer, "Me and You"), Whilce Portacio (artist).

More at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Filipino_Americans.

So pwede ba, kilala ang Pilipinas no. So don't you guys dare say na hindi tayo kilala, at walang nakakaalam kung asan ang Pilipinas. If you don't know any of these, I don't think you can even call yourselves Filipino.

The people who didn't even feel a thing about this issue, are people who live in their own little worlds, and not a care for the soil they step on. They think we're all over reacting, we're pikon, and we've lost our sense of humor.

Hay I don't even have the energy to lash out on these people. It's a waste of time.

Kung wala kayong bilib sa Pinoy, lumayas na lang kayo and sa ibang bansa na lang kayo manirahan.

The space you're occupying is better off with someone more worthy.

GET LOST

Hi everyone. I apologize for not updating my blog.

Apparently, a lot of people think my blog is offensive, one-sided and so over the top.

And they also wonder why I can't even reveal my identity when I'm so blatant and brutal with my topics and comments.

It made me think. Maybe the world has too many shit already that a blog about that shit has no room in cyberspace. Life has too many bumps that more happy blogs should be written and created.

It even got me contemplating on closing the blog all together.

And what did I decide on?

Leche sila.

If they don't wanna read the shit in my blog, then they should just go log on to disneyland.com and read that. And cut your arm with a nailcutter while you're at it.

I put this blog up to rant about the shit in this world, and apparently, many people agree with me too.

So to whoever gets offended by this blog, kiss my ass.

BE BENCH WINNERS

Regine Angeles and Carlo Guevarra

I told you so.

Some people owe me some cash...

WHY GOD WHY?!

What is the world coming to?

Source: http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/lifestyle/lifestyle/view_article.php?article_id=85698

As if taking its cue from these laws of attraction, the ultra-progressive and fashion forward label Folded & Hung collaborated with Manila’s oft-controversial pop icon and poster child for the “think rich-be rich” generation, Tim Yap.

Just like his exuberant personality, the Theme:Yap limited-edition graphic shirts are bold, surreal and stylish, loudly and unapologetically proclaiming messages such as “Filthy Rich,” “Big Spender” and “Don’t Hate Me, Envy Me.” (I can already hear the keyboard sounds from bloggers everywhere… whatever!)

Do they actually think these photos are cool?

And to call him the poster child for the "think rich be rich" generation is absurd! 'Coz he's more of the "think rich sleep with the bosses" generation. At least they got it right by calling him "child". The author clearly wasn't sure of his gender.

He is what's wrong with the generation of today. I remember reading an article about young prostitutes, who come from good schools, and why they got into it. One answer struck me, "Kasi gusto ko makabili ng iPod".

All he does is flash some bling, party all night, and extort money from youngsters who don't know any place better other than that pathetic excuse for a club called Embassy.

He is not someone people should be looking up to. He should be an example of someone you wouldn't wanna turn out to be.

And how about this load of crap?

Now here’s the real secret. I believe the bigger statement in all this is Tim’s generosity, which is nothing short of legendary. The irrepressible Tim is, in fact, helping his favorite charity with his new show, GMA 7’s “Celebrity Duets.” Part of his prize money of P1M will go to the Red Cross if he wins. (To vote: Text Duets Tim and send to 2344 for Globe, Sun and TM, 367 Smart and Talk N’ Text.) So he’s not just wearing it on his sleeve!

Easy for him to say, 'coz he ain't winning.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH 5

Stuart Little and Maui Taylor

BE BENCH-AKA

Kawawa naman ang Pilipinas at tila nauubusan na ata ng mga magagandang tao.

I remember talking to someone from Bench who was so proud of the finalists who made it in the Bench Model Search.

They had auditions in Davao, Cebu, Baguio and Manila. At ito lang ang mga nahanap nyo?

I find it hard to believe na nag nationwide search kayo at yan lang ang mga napili nyo.

Inaaay, mas madami pa akong mahahanap na mas ok na pagala gala sa labas bumibili ng suka.

Actually, if you look at the semi-finalists, there are lots there who should've made the finals, not these butt faces.

Tignan mo nga si Precious?! Walang nagawa ang photography at make-up sa kanya. Buti na lang eliminated na sya. Bakit ba naging finalist 'yan?!

Si Michelle naman, chekwa na chekwa, at panga kung panga!

And don't even get me started with the boys! P-utang na loob naman... yung Kerbie, John at Joey, san nyo napulot 'yan?! Mas gwapo pa driver namin jan eh! I would even screw my driver because he's hot! I wouldn't touch these guys with a ten foot pole! Mukha silang mga kargador sa pier! Native na native!

Kamusta naman ang adik look ni Kerbie? Eh ang friendster look ni John? At ang SM bagger image ni Joey?

My bet sa girls would be either Regine or Kristine. Si Rachel sana, kaya lang eliminated na sya. She looks like a better version of Isabel Oli pa naman. Regine has an Angel Aquino look to her.

Sa boys, clear winner si Carlo.

Remember, they're also looking for a bench model slash ABS-CBN artista. So ang mananalo diyan, may star factor dapat. Actually, mas mataas dapat ang star factor than the model factor.

Ewan ko lang Bench ha, what a disappointment!

Siguro na-off ang mga gusto mag join dahil sa P200 purchase?

OK NA SANA

Pakihanap naman po ang boses ni Lani.

Andyan lang po yan, PAKALAT-KALAT.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH 4

Korina Sanchez and Miss Piggy

SEPARATED AT BIRTH 3

Niecy Nash of Clean House and Reno 911

&

Mau Marcelo of Philippine Idol

UTANG NA LOOB!

I have ranted about this wannabe model search a several posts back, and I must say, they continue to scare the shit out of me.

They have had 10 legs, and now they're on to the finals.

Nakakasuka ang finalists grabe. I can't even pick who's gonna win. Maybe this will be a first for contests na walang mananalo. Lahat talo! Hahaha panalo!

If you're ready for a scare, check out more hideousness at http://styleonefashion.multiply.com.

I swear ang sarap pagbabarilin ang mga ito! Sumasakit ulo ko!

THE PLEASURE OF SUCKING?!

I was watching ETC this afternoon, and was pleased to see a new Chupa Chups TV ad. It was of this girl who rides a bus, and unwraps a Chupa Chups, and starts sucking on it. Seeing this, the rest of the passengers starts sucking on whatever they had with them. Then the girl looks at them, and then everyone stops sucking.

Funny ad I thought. Then the new tag line panned in, "The Pleasure Of Sucking". I was floored. Didn't even know if I read that right.

So I Googled it, and true enough, it is Chupa Chups' latest campaign.

Also checked out out their site, and it even says "Sucking is good for you!"

They even have another TV ad running. Got this from YouTube.

Grabe. I know they're just marketing the common lollipop to not just kids, but I'm sure this campaign was deliberate. So now the marketing strategy "sex sells" applies to lollipops too?

Am I being a prude?

X-DEAL QUEEN?

I had coffee with a friend from a bridal magazine last night. She needed to unwind and whine again about how ironic it was to be unattached and working for a bridal mag. Woe is me.

Anyway, she had a stack of mags with her, and as I was browsing through them, there was this bit about Christine Bersola's "innovative" bridal biz. She preserves bridal gowns and bouquets.

So I was like, "Oh, this is new!" And my friend goes, "Hay, gaya gaya lang 'yan no. At ginaya na lang nga nya, wala pang kwenta. Bersola is one for the books."

Apparently, the first and only one to have this kind of service is The Bridal Conservatory. They have been doing this for almost 6 years, a first in the Philippines, and they have a very impressive clientele.

My friend says that Christine Bersola wanted The Bridal Conservatory to preserve her wedding gown and bouquet, but on x-deal, wherein Bersola would feature TBC on her morning show, Magandang Umaga Bayan, and TBC would preserve Bersola's gown and bouquet for free.

TBC turned it down, and Bersola put up her own Bridal Preservation business. Talk about sourgraping. Industry professionals say hers is such a bad copycat, that it fails miserably. TBC is not threatened at all, and is still doing very well I believe.

Bersola even came out with a wedding video, entitled something like "How To Plan Your Dream Wedding On Less Than P1M." Wedding suppliers' running joke is an answer to that, "Eh di x-deal!"

Another friend of mine from a glossy says that Bersola and Babao's wedding was also a major x-deal. Her souvenirs, food and venue were all free. All she had to do was mention them in her TV and radio shows. I also heard from a reporter that their wedding invitation had like this page of logos of her sponsors. Eeeew tacky! I have yet to see the invite, and if this is true, I'll post it here. Can anyone verify this?

If all this is true, I am so disgusted. I thought Babao's family was well-off? I even saw this celebrity home coverage of their house, and I think I saw Starck numerous times.

I was up really early last week, and when I turned on the radio, it was tuned in to some AM station, with Bersola and Babao on board. She actually promoted her bridal biz on air. She sounded like she didn't know what she was talking about. She said, "Ano nga ba 'yun?" and "Basta" a couple of times. And this was before I had coffee with my friend.

And to top it all off, she's trying to pull a Madge! She's coming out with children's books! Well, at least this is right up her alley, and she's hitting her market really well. I just hope the books are affordable by the masa.

Say it with me everyone. Ka-cheapan!

SEPARATED AT BIRTH 2

Teri Aunor and Tyron Perez

Zanjoe Marudo & Diego of Bubble Gang

MONIQUE DESIGNS FOR BARBIE

Wow Monique. You go girl! Read on everyone.

Monique Lhuillier designs for Barbie
Dress designer Monique Lhuillier launched her first bridal collection 10 years ago, and now she's put a gown on an American icon -- Barbie.

Lhuillier has picked up celebrity clients along the way over the last decade and found herself designing wedding dresses for Natalie Imbruglia, Charlotte Ross and Debbie Matenopoulos.

In 2004, Lhuillier was chosen by more than 300,000 viewers of the "Today" show as having the winning design for Nikki Hensley's wedding dress as part of the "Today Throws a Destination Wedding 2004" series. She also designed 2004 Emmy gowns for winner Allison Janney, and attendees Jamie-Lynn DiScala, Megan Mullally and Famke Janssen.

Lhuillier's rise in the fashion world hasn't been mercurial, but it has been steady, with 2004 proving to be her most productive year. In addition to the gowns designed for the Emmy Awards show, Lhuillier was chosen to design the wedding gown of pop star Britney Spears along with dressing Kevin Costner's bride, Christine Baumgartner.

Hollywood weddings are big tabloid news, but how does wedding designer make her way into the world of collectibles? By being one of the world-class designers who have dressed America's most famous doll.

The list of designers for Barbie include Bob Mackie, Carolina Herrera, Cynthia Rowley, Byron Lars, Nolan Miller, Calvin Klein, Versace, Christian Dior and Lhuillier's wedding gown rival, Vera Wang. The Monique Lhuillier Bride Barbie is the latest fashion-designer creation for Mattel's top-selling doll.

NO CAN DO

Hi chuvaness.

Sorry for using that pic of yours. Didn't even know it was yours. I just used google images, and that pic popped out.

I already changed his pic to some other one so there.

And that way, I won't have to delete that post about you.

And no, I don't want to bury the hatchet.

Like you said, you stay off my blog, I'll stay away from yours.

THE FALL OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL

First, it was the Ruffa and Yilmaz break-up. Now are we gonna see the Gretchen and Tony Boy hiwalayan?

Wow, now so that's 2 of Pantene and Preview's most Beautiful. Hope it doesn't happen to Dawn and Angel.

It was bound to happen though. Whenever you're so up, there's no other way to go but down. Deep down.

I mean sure, John Estrada is kinda hot. But he's a bum. An ABS-CBN reject, who reportedly shows off his goods in the ABS-CBN restrooms to strangers.

Dun na ako sa mayamang kinakalbo no. Though I would wanna see John's goods first. Hardehar.

What is up with the Barettos? Di na makuntekuntento sa isang lalaki.

I wonder what Janice de Belen has to say to all this?

Say goodbye to your talking Valentino gown, Greta.

3.5 STARS

I made the mistake of watching Paano Kita Iibigin. Ang kukulit kasi ng girlfriends ko. They all wanted to see Piolo. And they think it's a match made in heaven with Regine too. Si tanga naman ako, naniwala. At eto ngayon nagsisisi.

I have to admit, I am a Regine fan. I love her voice, and I actually think she's world class. But she can't do everything you know. She has tried her hand in almost everything, but pairing up with Piolo Pascual spelled disaster right from the start.

First the cons:

Unang una, Regine, hindi ka na bata. Kaya medyo wala na sa lugar ang mga pinag-sususuot mo no. Ang lakas mo mag two-piece day! Di kita kinakaya! Halata na nga ang age mo sa fez at katawan mo, nakipag-team up ka pa kay Papa Piolo who obviously looks so hot and a lot younger than you! Mukha na kayang nanay ang katawan mo ate! Yung boobs mo nga eh halos umabot na sa waist mo no! Pwede mo ng ihawi pag nagwawalis ka!

Pangalawa, I never liked Joyce Bernal's work. She hasn't improved, and you could tell from a movie if it was directed by her. Swerte lang sya na suki sya ni Regine.

Hated the editing of this movie. The texture was bad. The lighting unflattering. The dubbing is the worst. Especially Robin da Rosa's. And I give the Worst Actor Award to him. Hands down.

Mark Bautista had moderate acting, but he was so out of place sa movie. Para syang playing dress up. Parang hiniram nya ang office clothes ng tatay nya. And nanlilisik pa ang ilong nya.

And the kid who plays Regine's son in the movie was really bad too. Remember JP de Guzman? He reminded me of him. But hey, no one can top JP. And throw in Roseanne Gonzales too. Sarap pag-untugin ang dalawang yun. Wala ng alam gawin kungdi umiyak.

Ang chaka din ng mga font na ginamit sa movie ah. Sumakit kaya mga mata ko. Parang invitation sa kasal na di ko maintindihan.

Si Iya Villania naman, wala lang. Di ko lang sya gusto.

At kamusta naman ang umeeksenang San Mig Coffee sachets? Aaaaaaaargh! Di talaga subtle ang mga pinoy sa ganyan grabe. Well, the worst is still Regine's Pangarap Ko Ang Ibigin Ka with Christopher de Leon. Yun ang major in-your-face product placements talaga! May TimTam, Nestle Back 2 Back Ice Cream, at Close-Up. I suggest you see it para maniwala kayo.

And the symbolisms, di na nga subtle, di pa kumokonek sa movie! What's with the plane and bubog?!

Quotable quote from Regine in the movie: "All of us have experienced losing a loved one, one way OR THE OTHER."

And now the pros:

Eugene Domingo. *APPLAUSE* Move over Ai-ai.

Piolo Pascual. He was good in this movie. Clearly almost ready to take over the place of the likes of Christopher de Leon. And he was damn hot too. With or without a shirt. Yeah I know he's always hot, but this one takes the cake. He's so macho and believable as a rebellious, living-on-the-edge kinda guy. Almost makes me forget that he's gay.

Regine Velasquez. Good acting as well. Reminds me of her performance from her movie, Kailangan Ko'y Ikaw and Lobo from Maalala Mo Kaya, with Piolo too.

Watch out for Jigo Garcia too. He plays the doctor in the first few scenes of the movie. What a blast from the past. Almost didn't recognize him.

All in all, I give it 3 and a half out of 5 stars. At least I didn't fall asleep. And Eugene Domingo kept me awake. Piolo had me drooling the whole time. And Regine had me staring at her southward humps.

TO HELL WITH BRAZILIANS!

Grabe na talaga ang Brazilian invasion sa Manila ah!

They are literally robbing Pinoy models of work! Maganda naman ang lahi natin, bakit mga foreigner pa ang kinukuha?

My friend who owns a modeling agency constantly whines about these Brazilians.

These models pala are chaka sa home country nila, so di sila mabenta doon, so dito na lang sila raraket. Kahit na chaka sila sa Brazil, dito sa Pinas sobrang pinag aagawan pa sila!

So Pinas no? Settling for rejects at latak!

Hindi lang yan, these Brazilian models daw dive their prices, as in dive to death ito, para they're sure to land the job! They're thinking kasi in pakyaw terms, so ok na din kung madaming jobs na not so high ang pay. So wala na tuloy jobs ang mga models in Manila!

My friend told me a story of another agent friend of his whose model then had an almost sure endorsement agreement with SM. Their contract was worth P60,000. Just when the agent was calling in to ask when the contract signing will be, he's told that the deal wasn't pushing through. And he eventually found out that SM opted for a Brazilian model for only P15,000.

Sa mga VTR for TV ads daw, when it's a beauty brand, the Pinoys don't even bother to attend the VTR, kasi they're so sure na foreigner na naman ang makakakuha. And totoo naman.

Ang may kasalanan niyan yung mga agencies na nagpapasok ng foreigners dito. I know the brands opt for these foreigners para may world class leveling ang brand nila, pero if walang nakakapasok na foreigner models here, wala silang choice diba?

And nakakainis pa diyan, halos lahat sila mga walang working permits! Dapat lahat sila ipa-deport!

And get this, there's this Brazilian guy model daw who recently put up his own agency here in Manila! The agency is 99% Brazilians only. Nakakaloka!

The agency is called Chameleon Models (yuck).

I checked out their website, and nakakatawa. You know how modeling agency websites are, below the thumbnails of each model is indicated whether the model is in town or not. May mga nakita ako na nakalagay "DEPORTED"! Bwahahahahaha!

This has really got to stop. It's so Pinoy to not support the locals.

Hay kaya hindi tayo umaasenso eh.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

Melinda Doolittle and Princess Fiona

SERVES YOU RIGHT!

It finally happened.

Tim Yap has been suspended from The Philippine Daily Inquirer, apparently for self agrandising himself with his PDI articles. Haaay, life is beautiful again.

Kasi naman, can't you talk about anything else but your loser club? Dami mong naloloko sa leching Embassy na yan. Your club isn't even nice to begin with! Has anyone seen the interiors of this club in the daytime? Eeeeew talaga. Old, dingy and smelly. You charge like P500 and you can't even renovate your shithole?

Just goes to show you're not a real journalist because you only have one topic in mind.

Dapat lang talaga yan sa 'yo. Your column is like a fuckin ad placement. I remember when you celebrated your birthday at McDonald's, and your column's colors were red and yellow. Di naman masyadong halata na binayaran ka ng malaki ng McDo diba?

Rumor has it that T.I.M Y.A.P. (Tang-Inang Mukha Yan Ang Pangit) is talking to The Philippine Star. I hope the Star doesn't take him in. He has no talent, a fashion victim, a bad writer, a bad host and a sleazeball!

I wonder what his beau, Victor Basa, has to say about all this?

NIGEL BARKER EXCLUSIVE

Just heard this from a very reliable source who got to interview Nigel Barker at the Quezon Ballroom of the Makati Shangri-La.

When asked about what he thought of the models who appeared before the show started, namely Isabel Roces, Bianca Valerio and Rissa Samson, this is what he had to say:

"Filipina women are very beautiful, but I do know that you guys aren't really blessed with the height, especially for modeling. I was very surprised to know that the small one is an established fashion model here."

And we all know who the small one is. Hardehar.

MAAWA KA ELLEN

Everytime I drive on Edsa towards the South, di ko alam kung dapat akong matawa, matakot, masuka or lahat sabay sabay.

I'm sure most of you have seen this hideous billboard along Edsa. And the reason why I'm sure is because I know you can't miss it. Kahit na iwasan mo pa ng tingin, imposibleng hindi mo makita ang halimaw na ito.

It's a billboard OF Ellen FOR Ellen's Skin Care. Di ko talaga gets kung bakit sya pa ang napili nyang image model ng business nya.

She doesn't even look young. She obviously had so much done, she looks so creepy, na tipong pag tumawa sya, mapipigtas lahat ng mga sinulid sa mukha nya and tatanda sya ulit right before your eyes. May maeenganyo kayang magpa-service sa clinic nya kung ganyan ang kalalabasan?

May budget naman syang pang billboard, so bakit di sya kumuha ng model?

I'm sure madami na syang narinig about her billboard, so bakit dedma lang sya? Madami kayang pwedeng maaksidente at posible pang mamatay dahil sa kanya no. Kahit trafik pa, may mababanggat-mababangga dahil sa lecheng billboard na yan. Potah, habang asa trafik nga ako, may nakita akong magka-barkada na girls na nabangga sa bus kasi pinag-uusapan nila yung billboard with matching tingala and point!

Ah alam ko na kung bakit sya ang napili nyang image model ng business nya! She's the actual menu of services ng clicnic nya! Ah wagi naman pala eh! Parang walking menu at billboard diba?

Di ko tuloy maintindihan kung ano ang purpose ng picture nya. Tularan o wag tularan? Successful operation o mishap? Before or after? On a budget or the works? Babala ba ito sa mga may planong magpa retoke?

At ang pinaka panalo pa jan, ang copy ng billboard na ito ay "FACE LIFT. No surgery. No injections. SPR treatment." Wow, feeling nya siguro ang linis ng gawa ng retoke sa kanya no?

Adik siguro 'tong lolang 'to.

At di ko din kinaya ang suot nya dito ah, neon yellow tank na plunging! Buti pa si Belo, kahit na mejo nagiging nakakatakot na din ang looks nya dahil sinubukan na nya yata lahat ng services nya, ng sabay sabay, at least mejo bata pa sya compared to this driftwood no! It's like seeing Victor Wood in a Bench Body ad! Yaaaaaaaaaaak!

Mareng Ellen, i-untog mo na sa pader ang ulo mo please lang. Maawa ka naman sa kamaynilaan.

Madami ng problema ang Pilipinas, wag mo ng dagdagan.

KALA NYO NO?!

Hay salamat at hindi nanalo 'tong tatlong gagong 'to.

Kala nyo siguro dahil sikat kayo, easy win kayo no? Not!

I have to admit, I actually thought at least Manny would win. Hindi din pala. Thank God!

May utak na din pala ang masa ngayon. I thought the day would never come.

Kasi naman kayo, it's not enough to be a celebrity to win in the elections no. Smart na tao ngayon.

It doesn't mean that if you're a hero in the movies, you'll also be a hero in politics. Ano ba plano mo Manny? Pagsusuntukin mo mga tao kung ayaw sumunod sayo?

Bakit di nyo gayahin si Kiko Pangilinan? Pinakasalan na lang nya ang Megastar para naman di lantaran ang pag gamit ng celebrity ng isang tao. Eh di wagi sya! Mascot na nga nya si Mega, financier pa! At it also doesn't hurt na sikat din ang anak ni Mega na si KC! Well done Kiko!

THE HELL?!

WTF?!

BEGGING 101 NI CHUVANESS

I take it back.

Chuvaness isn't as nice as I thought she was. I'm so shocked with her.

This is something I have to take issue with, and sorry Chuvaness, I have to tell you off with this one.

In her recent post called Begging 101, (which she has taken down by the way) she talks about tips on effective begging, like the beggars actually read blogs. Duh.

The following is her actual post.

Let's break it down:

1) If I give one of you, do not call the rest of the neighborhood and come running to my car, because it will freak me out and I do not have enough money to give all of you. I am not Santa Claus. The scariest thing. One Christmas I was giving away free T-shirts from my dead stock and the kids ran and rocked the van from side to side. I really thought I would die.

Don't you even get it why they act this way? Dahil wala silang makain, at minsan lang mangyari sa kanila yun. They want to share it with the rest because they're all in the same boat. Palibhasa, di mo pa naranasan maghirap, kaya ka ganyan. You have no idea what these people go through, that's why the slightest image of money and food will make them come running.

2) Please do not leave "memories" like handprints, lip prints, saliva on my window.

Kakaloka ka. You expect them to have etiquette and social graces? Bangag ka ate. Di nga nakapag-aral eh, may nalalaman ka pang mga ganyan.

3) Can someone please publish a standardized rate for sampaguita? I'm confused. Sometimes if I give ten pesos, I get one crumby garland. And sometimes if I give ten pesos I get a whole bunch. WTF?

Seryoso ka? I've never complained about what they're selling. I mean I kid about it with them, and they explain, but that's it. Mabuti nga na nagbebenta sila at hindi nagnanakaw. Kung madami kang reklamo, wag mo na lang kunin yung sampaguita, donate mo na lang.

4) Uhm, if you could say thank you, that would be nice.

Sa sobrang gutom at excited ng mga yan, nakakalimutan na nilang mag THANK YOU. Why don't you teach them then? That's what I do, especially the little ones. Before they run off, I say to them, "Uy bata, mag Thank You ka ha?" And they do, and I remind them na dapat ganun lagi. Eh di tapos. Naturuan mo pa sila ng mabuting asal.

5) If you start with a Chrismas carol, please finish the song and do not run away as soon as I give you something.

Eh di patapusin mo muna sa kanta bago ka mag-abot. Walang courtesy yang mga yan, wala ngang napag-aralan eh, kaya kelangan ikaw mag adjust at gumawa ng diskarte ate, para matuto sila.

6) Please do not use the following lines as I have heard it so many times:
a) "Makabenta po lamang."
b) "Pambili po ng baon."
c) "Birthday ko po ngayon." (Kid, it's been your birthday four times this year.)
d) "Makauwi po lamang." (This is a complete lie, because as soon as you buy the whole bunch, the kid goes running to the Mama San for more.)

7) I do go for the line, "Pambili lang po ng pagkain." Very Angela's Ashes.

How could you even call these "lines"? Pucha, you actually think they're making it up? Fine, I can agree with c, but the others might actually be true you know. Grabe ka naman, alam mo, kung talagang gusto mo magbigay, no questions asked yan. Kahit na niloloko ka o hindi, ibigay mo kung talagang ibibigay mo. Wag ng madaming tanong. Sana hindi ka na lang nagbigay. Dami mong arte! Parang P1,000 yung binigay mo diba?

8) Begging does not become you if you have already pubic hair and are stronger than an ox.

Again, walang alam ibang gawin yang mga yan. Walang pinag-aralan, so ni mag secretary or mag delivery boy, eh hindi alam. And do you even have any idea how hard it is to find work out there? I'm sure they've tried to find work, pero wala lang talagang willing mag-hire sa kanila.

9) If I give you a biscuit, candy, T-shirt and there is a long line, please do not ask one for your "kapatid" because I'm not sure if you really have a kapatid and I cannot see that.

Next time na mamimigay ka, make sure you have lots of extras, or better yet, papilahin mo sila para maayos for you. Hanapin mo yung "kapatid" nya kung gusto mo. Hingin mo na din birth certificate nila. Didn't you ever try to make up some lame excuse to get more when you were a kid?

10) Please do not kill each other, and most important, when the light turns green, do NOT run after my car because you could die!!

Di ako sure kung concern ito for the kids, or concern for your car.

P.S. I don't give money to street children sniffing a bag of glue, but I do feel bad for them because I used to think they were mere drug addicts. But I found out glue is something that supposedly kills appetite. They sniff it in lieu of food. That really sucks.

Shouldn't knowing this open your eyes a bit?

Sa susunod, wag ka ng magpopost ng mga ganyan, kasi nakikita yung pagka matapobre mo.

You should go to some outreach or immersion program para maintindihan mo ng mas mabuti. You just rant about their behavior, but all it actually is, is their needs. You haven't seen their conditions first hand, kaya ka ganyan eh.

Eh kung may nagpark na limo sa harap ng SFAS at namimigay ng mga LV, di ka ba tatakbo at makikipag unahan?

That's just the same thing. Don't judge them, because they have nothing else better to do. Their conditions dictate their actions, so wag ka ng mag complain kasi wala silang choice.

If you seriously don't mind giving to beggars, then don't say anything. It's obvious that you do mind, otherwise you wouldn't have had that post. Mas mahaba pa yung pag rant mo kaysa sa pag sabi mo ng "you don't mind giving to beggars".

And yung mga mag cocomment diyan, bring it on. Mag kampihan na kayo as I am set for a good tongue lashing. Let the others see how screwed up you guys are.

And please, kahit mag disclaimer ka pa, matapobre comment talaga ang ginawa mo no. "Only a commentary on something we see everyday in Manila."? Kahabang commentary naman nyan. Sana hindi ka na nag disclaimer kasi mas nahalata ka pa.

LIVE FROM SFO

Just came from a family reunion.

My 12 year old cousin starts talking to me about the web, YouTube, limewire, the ipod, and boys.

Gosh, feeling dalaga na ito! Eh wala ka pa ngang lovely lady lumps no! Sarap tirisin sobra.

Then she shares with me this site where a dude named Justin, walks around San Francisco, goes about his everyday life, wearing a live webcam on his ear.

This webcam is on 24/7. He wears it in the bathroom, on a date, and yes, while he's sleeping. Kinabog ang Big Brother!

I just checked it out, and the dude's sleeping. It's 12:30AM his time. Ang aga naman matulog nito.

And you can even embed his live video cast in your blog!

Kaloka no?

I wonder what possessed him to do this?

Siguro wala syang masyadong friends.

And aminin natin, padami na ng padami ang sumisikat sa YouTube and web marketing.

There's Alyssa Alano, Von Lee Smith, the lipsynching Asian Backstreet Boys, and Alanis' My Humps parody.

Watch Justin's every move at http://www.justin.tv

THE BIGGEST JERK IN MANILA

I read this post like a month ago, and was in total shock about it.

Didn't know what to think until I talked to some magazine people who confirmed the incident. Some of which were at the same yacht party and saw and heard everything. Now I'm posting it.

I know he's hella hot ladies. But I'm sure he can't be ALL good. Dapat kasi pumayag na si girl, para di na sya nasaktan. Hardehar.


"Let me tell you about the biggest jerk in Metro Manila.

On Friday night I was at a fabulous yacht party in Manila Bay. After several hours we were all rather tipsy, and I was play fighting with my guy friends (well, I thought they were all friends). You know tripping each other up, pretending to kick each other, etc. Then, I made the mistake of play fighting with Will DeVaughn, The Biggest Jerk in Metro Manila. After pretending to trip him, he pulled my blouse collar down, exposing --well-- a lot. Scandalized, I slapped him. Then he responded by lifting me up by my arms and pressing my wrists so hard against the wall that my hands went numb from the pain. When he let go, I slapped him again -no one gets away with hurting a girl. This time he threw me onto a coach and twisted my arms so that they were pinned painfully behind me. (Note, I am 5'2" and have never worked out in my life, Will is like 5'11" and significantly older and stronger than me). I told him that my brothers would jump him for this, and he responded in all seriousness that he'd have my brothers killed. No one threatens my family, so when he let go I slapped him again. This time he looked me straight in the eye and screamed at me, that if I touched him again he'd throw me against the wall and off the boat (he knew I am afraid of water). So after physically hurting me and threatening to murder my brothers, I could only stand there, too scared to move because I was certain he's make good on his threat.

When he left my guy friends entered the room (there had only been girls in the room whom I hadn't been acquainted with). They were outraged, naturally, so we got into the car so that the guys could confront him at Embassy, where he had went. Karl, a really stand up guy went upstairs to Embassy (still and no matter what the best club in Manila) to tell Will to apologize. Will replied that I should go up and apologize to him! The nerve! Karl naturally called Will an expletive, and the woman-beating egomaniac responded by pushing Karl and asking him how he dared approach Will in "his" club. Appropriately, the bouncers began to drag Will away, but the jerk just went back upstairs and hid. And so he got away. I was so upset by the whole ordeal that I spent the rest of the evening and morning crying, so now I'm sick. Crap.

So Will deVaughn, who has only lived in this country for about two years, who isn't a Filipino citizen, whose only claim to fame is being a model, thinks that he can get away with bruising up girls, threatening to have people killed, and name dropping to a criminal extent. That is why he is The Biggest Jerk in Metro Manila, and deserves to be deported, and I don't care who knows about it."

Source: http://ferrariprincess.multiply.com/journal/item/79

FUNNY AND CREEPY AT THE SAME TIME

This clip is so so funny.

And the kid is so cute, funny and creepy at the same time.

Will Farrell brings it home with this one.

CLASSIC CLAUDINE BARRETO

This never fails to crack me up. Buti nga bwahahaha.

KAIRITA ANG ACCENT NI LEA!

Nakakapang-init ng ulo yung fake brit accent ni Lea I swear!

If I'm not mistaken, this vid was in 1989, the same year Miss Saigon opened in London.

So wala pang isang year, brit na ang accent ni Lea.

And didn't she have a reputation of having a new accent everytime she comes back from wherever?

CLEAR THE AIR

Let me clear the air for everyone.

I put up this blog because I hate pretentiousness.

Any form of it.

I have come across gazillions of people who are due a much needed bashing because they deserve it. And I have also come across people who don't.

This blog is for those who do.

If you are offended with my blog, and disagree with my opinions, then clearly I have stepped on your nerves. Which also means that you are guilty of the things I aired out.

The ones who chose to laugh about it and poke fun at it are clearly not offended. And most likely are not guilty.

Everyone is entitled to a lifestyle. Yes that is true. But I just seriously wish that people would choose a lifestyle that they can afford. Not a lifestyle to keep up with just because it's cool and people will take notice.

If you can afford it, and comfortably at that, then well and good. But if you can't, and still yearn for these luxuries, then I consider you pretentious.

Chuvaness has been very classy in reacting to my blog post. She thinks it's funny, I hope she knows the kind of people I'm talking about, and clearly she's not offended because she respects my opinions, and she never said anything negative about it. She is clearly someone who has a sense of humor, and someone who is very comfortable about who she is. Thank You for that chuvaness. I thought that LV coffin was hilarious too.

And the post's goal wasn't even to make everyone guilty because you don't share to charities. I mean of course I wish you did, but the post was mainly about people who live beyond their means.

I know of so many who are like this, and it makes me vomit everytime I see them and hear them talk. I would just love to mention their names but I don't want to make a scene. Why can't they just be who they are? Why do they think people will respect them if they have such luxuries?

Again yes, to each his own. If they wanna live in a lie, then go ahead. I'm just glad I'm not friends with these people.

This blog is just my tool of release. It's not the newspaper or The Bible you know. But hey, you gotta admit, it's pretty entertaining. Hardehar.

I'm glad my post sparked some interest.

And I hope it at least made you guys think.

WHAT THE?!

If you read one of my previous posts about PNTM, they used to put the finalists' pictures on matte boards. Don't ask me why.

I just found a screen shot and I just had to post it.

Doesn't it look really silly? It made Ruffa look like she was carrying a bible or something.

Funny diba?

I wonder whose stupid idea that was?

RUFFA BOOBOO

Just watched PNTM a few hours ago. Was fishing for more booboos. And lo and behold, I did find a handful.

But I have to highlight the best one, made by the hostess herself.

Ruffa was down to the bottom 2 finalists, and she was expressing her disappointment with Joy, the black beauty of the show.

Ruffa says something like, "Joy, you disappoint me so much. Every week, it's just one disappointment OVER another."

And you could totally see her disappointment when she heard herself. It was like she wanted to correct herself but didn't because it was too late.

Hardehar.

ROBBY CARMONA'S CLASSIC HIRIT ON PNTM

When I heard about this, halos gumapang ako sa sahig sa kakatawa. In one of the PNTM episodes, Robby comments on one of the finalists,

"I love your legs! Keep it up!"

Amen!

Pic taken from chuvaness.

THE GUCCI GANG AND THE VUITTON VALAHURAS

I don't and I will never get people who go gaga or gago over luxury items such as Gucci and Vuitton.

I will not fucking spend more than P5K for a bag, or wallet.

Hello?! What's so special about it?

I actually think Vuitton is tacky. I don't like the design. Looks like wallpaper to me. It's not like their bags' shapes are special. It looks like any other bag. The color is bland. That colored one is so cheap. And why the hell would you spend P20,ooo for a bag? A bag is just something you need to carry stuff. Parang bumili ka ng supot na P20,000. And it doesn't even look like P20,000.

It's such a waste of money. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure the material is carefully crafted, it's super soft and very durable, but so is other less expensive brands. And the other brands look so much cooler. And what's so cool with showing up at an event and having the same bag as every celebrity there?

Even if I could afford an LV or Gucci, I would NEVER buy a bag that expensive. I would rather give it to charity, than blow it all on leather with wallpaper print.

Do you LV and Gucci people even give to charity and the church? Di ba kayo nakokonsensya sa pag gastos nyo? You guys are blessed to have money, and I hope you use it the right way. Manghinayang naman kayo sa pera na yan. Palibhasa di nyo pinaghihirapan yang pera kaya ganyan kayo makagastos. All you did was marry a rich guy, political racketeering, pocketing, payola and the like. Buti nakakatulog pa kayo sa gabi after burning that much cash on a bag.

And yes I'm sure it's a status symbol, but why a bag? Why not through a car? Or a house? Or jewelry? Does it make you look better? Does it make you a better person when you carry this bag? Does it mean you're smarter and a cut above the rest when you have this bag? Does it take away all your dirty laundry and negative traits? Will you have more friends? I so do not get it. It's useless, it's all for show, and all you people live in a party where you just kiss each other's ass and compliment each other when you feel like vomitting. You don't land a job or lose a job based on the brand you're wearing. It's what's inside that counts. Sounds corny? Yeah but it's true. I honestly am sure a bag can't guarantee you genuine happiness. But a spa and a good laugh at a movie will.

You know what's interesting too? The people who brag about their LVs and Guccis are new monied people. I'm sure they didn't want LV when they were in highschool. My old rich friends don't even have LVs. We hang out at their pads, they've got like 12 househelp and 8 cars, Patek Phillippes, Chanels, Rolexes, and they consider LV to be cheap looking. And these are people who were born with diamond studded spoons in their mouths. Not silver, not gold, but diamonds. They have millions in their bank accounts, and that's because they know how to spend their money. They spend on what counts. Nothing for show.

I hope you people think before buying these things. Think of how much other things it can buy. Think of donating to a charity or to church. Nobody cares about the brands you wear. And I'm sure you don't wanna be befriended just because you have the nicest bags.

Do something worthwhile please. Don't throw money away.

www.worldvision.org.ph
www.unicef.org/philippines
www.filipinocharity.org
www.childrenshour.org.ph

COMMENT ABOUT RISSA SAMSON

Just wanna share a comment on one of my posts about Rissa Samson. Tsk, tsk, tsk

"weeks ago, a foreign brand was casting for a show. Of course, certain standards had to be met, specifically the height requirement. all the girls were asked to take their shoes off, and then they all lined up to have their height measured. When Rissa's turn came up, they measured her height at 5'4. At which point, Rissa complained, had her height remeasured (which of course was still 5'4). you wouldn't believe what she did. She actually told them that they were wrong, and insisted that she was actually 5'6. after a lengthy argument, the caster gave in and put it at 5'6. hahaha!"

Sabay sabay tayo tumambling.

PNTM EP 2- BETTER NAMAN IN FAIRNESS

Hay salamat for PNTM at may ibabash ako every week.

I don't waste my time watching PNTM over Channel 9. Sama na nga ng reception, alanganin pa ang timeslot. Thank God for YouTube, I get to still see this crappy show and laugh my guts out about it.

In fairness naman, the 2nd episode is so much better than the first one. Pero may mga sablay pa din syempre. Still not enough to keep me glued every week. Let's break it down:

1) Wilma is such a breather. She's hilarious, she's not at all pretentious and really honest. She should replace Ruffa as host. Hey, she IS the real model here.

2) Ok sa akin yung pilapil twist. Although it still doesn't apply to the real modeling world. What was it's purpose? Meron bang runway na lubak lubak? I think it was solely for entertainment, but did it teach the models anything? I gotta admit, I was entertained.

3) What's up with the term "Runway Teach"? Is the word "lesson" now being replaced by "teach"? It doesn't even make any sense. Kanino namang pakana yan ha? I'm sure Robby Carmona had something to do with it. And Robby is so obvious na he was told by the directors na i-exaggerate yung reactions nya. OA ka Robby ha! Buti pa si Wilma natural! Ikaw para kang adik!

4) Did anyone notice the misspelled "CHIPMUNK" in the first challenge of the Runway "teach"? It said "CHIMPMUNK"!! Utang na loob! Naloka kaya ako! As in I had to rewind the scene just to check! Wala bang nagproof read nang mga yan? Nakakahiya naman kayo sobra!

5) The challenge on imitating animals has no purpose either. Ang ginagamit lang sa shows are the animals which evoke sensuality, slyness, fierceness, regalness and boldness. Pero worm, mosquito at frog?! Nagpapatawa na kayo eh!

6) Sana naman pinagsalita nyo pa si Vince Uy. He's the authority in that panel, he knows more than Robby Carmona. Pang runway lang si Robby. Hindi sya stylist, hindi sya art director.

7) Salamat at asa gilid na ang mga logo. Malaki pa din, pero at least asa gilid na.

8) Buti naman din at napalitan na ang jurassic na celphone for the icky "Ruffa Text". (I just cringe everytime I hear them say that)

9) Ruffa, gamitin ba ang word na "fierce"? Have some originality naman please lang.

10) Is it my imagination or don't the judges agree on someone at all at once? Pag may sinabi sa Ruffa, icocontradict ni Xander, sasang ayon ang Robby, kontra si Wilma. Ah ewan! Diba dapat nag aagree kayo kasi nga pros kayo and you know best?

11) Napansin nyo mukha ni Rissa Samson when she entered the resto to dine with the challenge winner and friends? Parang di sya looking forward to it talaga. Plastic talaga si Rissa I swear.

12) Paki ayos naman ang website nyo please. Mas maganda pa ako gumawa ng website ng nakapikit kaysa jan.

13) I read a comment in YouTube about Ruffa's outfit and hair, saying kamukha daw nya si Dexter Doria! Bwahahahaha! Come to think of it, mas mukha pang mom ni Ruffa si Dexter Doria kaysa kay Manay Anabelle! Hmmm...

PNTM EP 1- ISA ISAHIN NATIN

Ito na nga ba sinasabi ko eh.

PNTM premierred March 13 at Channel 9.

And everything I expected it to be was flashing right before my eyes.

Sabi ko na nga ba eh, it's just a cheap knock-off of ANTM.

Let me run you through the disasters:

1) Tyra Mail becomes RUFFA TEXT? Tangina ang pangit! It totally takes away from the visual interest of Tyra Mail. And what's with the ancient cellphone? Mas bago pa cellphone ng driver ko no!

2) Kamusta naman ang sandamakmak na mga logo ng sponsors? Hay sabi ko na nga ba eh, magmumukhang dyaryo 'tong palabas na 'to. May Evian, Pizza Hut, Cocotini, Celine, atbp. Abangan nalang natin ang mga logo ng Smart/Globe, make-up and RTW brands, at mga pagkain. At talagang sa gitna pa talaga nilalagay yung logo! Di man lang sa corner! Argh! Lalo na sa end credits! Utang na loob! Pwede namang text lang ng sponsors diba? JPEG logos talaga eh, at palakihan pa!

3) Ang chaka ng itchura ng screening room ha! Pumapasok pa yung sun dun sa room, ang pangit tignan sa camera! A cousin of mine works as one of the PAs of ANTM, and she tells me how everything is put together. She describes setting up the judging room an epic production. Parang movie daw with the lighting, all lights are metered. May lights on the corners of the room, reflectors under the judges' faces para litaw yung faces nila, and so on. Kaya ganun kaganda yung ANTM. Here, it looks like they used a Handycam to shoot the whole episode. Of course I understand that the outdoor clips are raw, but when you're inside already, you could so easily control the lights. Or maybe it's just Channel 9's reception?

4) The judging is so so so so scripted! Why does Ruffa have to ask each judge what they thought of the photo? Why don't they just jump in and comment? Kasi host si Ruffa and she needs to guide these 3 other judges because they've never done TV before? Ruffa, you're as bad a host as William Hung is with singing. Ang booooorring mo Ruffa! I think you're trying too hard to be like Tyra, and keep in mind honey, that you can't be like Tyra, or any model because YOU ARE NOT A MODEL! Never was and never will be! At kamusta naman ang mga pics na you hand out to the models? Bakit naka matte board ang pics? Ano yan pang frame? Ang alam ko kaya binibigay sa kanila yung pics kasi they can include it in their folio. Mukha tuloy waitress si Ruffa na naghahand-out ng menu! Kakaloka itchura nya nung she was gonna announce the names. Ang kapal kaya ng hawak nya! Parang bible na di mo maintindihan!

5) What is up with the judges' table? I'm sorry but in my opinion, the judges' legs distract me from the show. I don't need to see Xander na nakabukaka sa TV no!

6) Robby Carmona- quit trying to sound like an ANTM judge! Your comments are straight out from an ANTM episode! At wala ka ng sinabi kungdi, "I agree with you Ruffa!" Wala ka bang sarili mong utak?! At pwede ba magtagalog ka na lang? Halos mag nose bleed ka na sa kaka-ingles mo no! "You look like a Brazillian model!" Mga taong tulad mo ang mga salot sa industriya! To hell with Brazillians! Why not love our own? You telling me if a Pinay model looks foreign, she's a cut above the rest? Go to hell Robby! Nauubusan na nga ng trabaho ang mga Pinoy dahil sa mga Brazillian, ganyan ka pa! Argh!

7) Rissa Mananquil screened for PNTM and was credited as a "top model". Ulol, top models are professional, friendly and fair. Si Rissa? None of the above.

8) The top model house is hideous! What the hell are those abstract thingies on the walls? Mukha syang cross stitched or paintings na binili mo sa 4th floor sa Megamall.

9) Just when I thought there was no voice more annoying than Kris Aquino's, meron pala. Kakairita boses ni Ruffa! "Oh my God, I'm about to cry na!"

10) Ang sama ng audio, especially during the first shoot. The camera was picking up most of the street noise, you can hardly hear Xander and Joey talking. Notice how Ruffa's voice is echoing during the announcement of the final 14. Para syang asa banyo! Hindi ba uso sa kanila ang boom or lapel?

11) Joey Mead, Xander Angeles, Wilma Doesnt and Pauline Suaco are spared from this bashing. They actually did a pretty good job. And they did what they had to do, walang labis, walang kulang. They spoke their minds, and criticized the best way possible. Good job people. Buti na lang nilagay si Wilma. She's the only one I love watching in this show. Sya lang ang nagpapakatotoo. The other 3 I mentioned here deliver just the right amount of honesty and humor too.

12) The whole episode was just a big BLAH. Nothing exciting, bad hosting, bad lighting, bad music bed, bad make-up, bad hair, bad house, bad, bad everything.

Tyra will be so disappointed.

STYLE EYE CATCHERS MODEL SEARCH

I don't even know where to start with this. Sumasakit ulo ko sa mga ito!

This so called "modeling search" has had 6 legs already. A good 95% of the finalists and winners are fuglies (fucking uglies). And to top it all off, this magazine is non-existent. And get this, the winner of the Grand Finale (all winners of all six legs competing) will land on the cover of the magazine that is no where to be found. Ni sa Booksale wala kang makikitang Style.

Now help me with this. I don't even know how this event gets sponsors. Mango, Perry Ellis, Gas, Moschino and Shangri-La? Come on you guys, didn't you even ask for a copy of their magazine and checked the date?

I remember the only 2 covers they had. First was a red one with Cindy Kurleto on the cover (who looked more like Cory Quirino) and a Supermodel issue (how predictable). And now they are no where to be found. Mas sikat pa yung search kesa sa magazine! Now how did that happen?

And ito pa, not one of their winners are seen in any major fashion show, event, TV ad or print ad. This search is crawling with wannabes that I wanna rip my hair off! Sana naman hanapan nyo muna ng trabaho yung nanalo, pasikatin nyo, then do another show. Kaya puro walang kwenta mga sumasali sa inyo eh.

Almost no one in the fashion industry has heard about the event, or maybe if they did they chose to ignore it.

I got to talk to one of the judges in one of the legs, and he said it was such a laugh fest, and he could hardly believe what he was seeing. He even went on to say he doesn't even know how the hell he agreed to judge it in the first place. And I heard too that the word about the search travelled really fast in the industry, so now they're having a hard time getting someone real to judge it!

I guess the person to blame though is the head honcho himself, Rob Altamirano, whom I met at a Canon event years ago. He was cool, but I never saw him as a wannabe, or someone who would give wannabes false hopes.

In fairness naman, the last 2 male winners of this thing are kinda promising. These two make up the 5% of the non-fuglies. But the rest, to the dungeons!

And how about the title huh? Eye Catchers Model Search?! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak! The term EYE CATCHER is so 80s!!!! Chaka. Mas matatake ko pa ang HEAD TURNER or CRUSH NG BAYAN no! Kadiri!

Eh kamusta naman ang host na si Lance Raymundo? Can I just say LAOS or WALANG CAREER or SINO YAN? Sana si Richard Reynoso or si Jojo Alejar na lang nilagay nila diba, tutal pare-pareho naman silang walang career, pero mas sikat naman 'tong dalawang 'to! Buti pa si Jojo Alejar may show. Eh si Lance? All he has are flop albums, and a super talented brother to outshine him forever.

And have you even seen the magazine? The layout is horrible, at nakakahilo ang colors and fonts! It's like PULP meets K-Zone and Totally Girl.

Nakakaawa tuloy yung mga finalist. I'm sure they think na sisikat sila pag nanalo sila sa Style. I hope things like this stop. Events and people like this are preying over innocent wannabes who deserve to know the truth. Grabe 'coz I know these wannabes. They'd do anything just to get a break. Their parents spend and spend on clothes, transportation, pictures, make-up and effort na wala namang pupuntahan.

I just hope these kids finally wake up and smell the roses. They're better off channelling their energies onto something worthwhile and not something they'd be ridiculed at.

Sa Style, itigil nyo na yan. Obvious bang you're using the finalists as bait to nab sponsors? I saw kaya the last leg at the Shang and walang katao tao kaya. Walang nakukuha ang sponsors sa inyo so sana makonsensya naman kayo. And sa mga sponsors naman, wag kayong papaloko. Tignan nyo muna yung magazine nila no, and mag survey muna kayo kung sino mga ka deal nyo. Wala kayong kaalam-alam chuckie pala ang sinosponsoran nyo na event.

I'm sure you wouldn't wanna be associated with fuglies right?